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[ENTP] Ask an ENTP!

Tamske

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Oct 22, 2009
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I want to follow the footsteps of EJCC! (See the very succesful thread http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/sj-guardhouse/17823-ask-estj.html)

So: if anyone has questions about ENTPs, ask them here!

Fellow ENTPs, if you want to help out, that's great! BUT. I don't want this thread to derail - even if that's the thing we are usually good at... We can at least try to stay on topic instead of posting whatever and using Ne as excuse, okay?

Any questions? I promise - I won't put you into a black hole.
 

Kasper

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G'luck dude, any thread with ENTP in the title is sure to attract ENTPs and, well, ENTPs can't help but be sarcastic attention whoring clowns hell bent on derailing every thread they can for shits 'n giggles, proof of this is in the Ask an ENTP thread currently residing in the fluff zone ;)
 

Tamske

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Sigh. That's so true.
Sometimes I think, on this forum, you just do what you like and when people call you upon it, you whip out those four letters and dance away merrily. I don't have to be responsible, I'm an ENTP! I don't have to be tactful, I'm an ENTP!
You know, there is a flip side to this...
If you want to do something that doesn't fit your type, people will look strange at you.
I want to start a helpful and reliable question answering thread, and I'm not going to let four letters stand in my way. Like other posters have said many times, you are not a type. I'm not ENTP, I'm an ENTP.

Even an ENTP can stick to topic. There is something like editing your post before posting, check at least consistency! There is already something like the Fluff zone and the Bonfire where you can let your Ne run wild (the Motivational Posters thread is a great one for that). You can jump from one thread to the other if one topic makes you think about the other, instead of posting every tangent into the one you're currently viewing.

I'm sure we can do it.
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
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Why am I so fucking awesome? :D

I kid. I'm also interested to what comes out of this topic.
 

INTPness

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Question #1: As an INTP, I sometimes think "if only I could really get a handle on being a people person - or being 'good' with people - I could really take a passion of mine and dominate that field - be very successful in whatever I chose to undertake".

I know it's probably human nature to think "if only I had this ability............then I could do that!" But, my question is this: What keeps an ENTP from really being successful and achieving all the things they've wanted to achieve?

I know we can get into the whole "what is success" debate and "money isn't everything", but you guys are largely considered to be the entrepreneurial archetype. ENTJ's being more of a CEO type. And even if your success isn't measured in the business world, then pick your passion and tell us what obstacles keep you from getting there. If you do consider yourself to be living your dreams or already at the place you've envisioned, then tell us about that as well.
 

Tamske

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But, my question is this: What keeps an ENTP from really being successful and achieving all the things they've wanted to achieve?

To me, it's procrastination. I'm restless. I can't keep my mind on one thing at a time until it's ready. I start something new, get interested in the new thing and I slack on the old one. Even if the old one is more relevant than the new one. Even if the old one is interesting and/or necessary - like work.

Also, I wouldn't call myself a "people person". To me, a "people person" is someone who's able to remember personal information (like names, faces, occupations, interests).
Just imagine:
"You're such an interesting person. Remember our discussion last night? I'd like to be your friend. Er... What's your name again?"
This is off-putting to a lot of people, you know. (Like: if you were really interested in me as a person, you'd at least remember my name! Well, I like you, I DO find you an interesting person, that's why I know you're the one with the stick-figure MBTI comics... Of course, on a forum, the name is always visible, which makes life a lot easier.)
There are two sorts of people in the world I'm comfortable with: total strangers and friends. Aquaintances are awkward.

Other questions?
 

Bowie

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Oct 18, 2009
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I know it's probably human nature to think "if only I had this ability............then I could do that!" But, my question is this: What keeps an ENTP from really being successful and achieving all the things they've wanted to achieve?

-Once I figure something out, regardless of if I've finished it or not, I instantly lose interest and can't, for the life of me, get excited about it again.

-I have too much I want to achieve at one time and sometimes I get frustrated trying to figure out what I should focus on

-Procrastination. It's practically become a lifestyle :doh:

-Sometimes...when I get an idea of something I want to do, or achieve, I think of EVERYTHING. All the ways it could go right, all the ways it could go wrong, how it would effect me and my life in general. And sometimes, once I do this, I don't even want to do it anymore. And then something else pops into my head, and ....on and on.
 

INTPness

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To me, it's procrastination. I'm restless. I can't keep my mind on one thing at a time until it's ready. I start something new, get interested in the new thing and I slack on the old one. Even if the old one is more relevant than the new one. Even if the old one is interesting and/or necessary - like work.

Also, I wouldn't call myself a "people person". To me, a "people person" is someone who's able to remember personal information (like names, faces, occupations, interests).
Just imagine:
"You're such an interesting person. Remember our discussion last night? I'd like to be your friend. Er... What's your name again?"
This is off-putting to a lot of people, you know. (Like: if you were really interested in me as a person, you'd at least remember my name! Well, I like you, I DO find you an interesting person, that's why I know you're the one with the stick-figure MBTI comics... Of course, on a forum, the name is always visible, which makes life a lot easier.)
There are two sorts of people in the world I'm comfortable with: total strangers and friends. Aquaintances are awkward.

Other questions?

OK, the procrastination I can relate to. And I definitely see your point about not really feeling like you're a people person. But, from where I'm standing (INTP - with a heavy I), you guys are brilliant with people. And they all love you (ENTP guy is so funny. ENTP guy is going out on the town tonight and a bunch of people are going - do you want to go with us?).

I still see you guys as "people persons" though. A people person, IMO, is not defined by whether or not you can remember names and faces. People can get over it if you don't remember their name. You guys still have the ability to make new friends all day long. There's another thread going right now about how ENTP's need people around them to be productive. You guys enjoy people. I don't. I mean, I do to some extent. I like people. But, I really want to like them from a distance. Call me if you need something, and I'll call you if I need something. Be a part of my network and I'm willing to be a part of yours, but don't bother me too much. It sounds horrible. I care about people more than that, but you see my point. Compared to your INTP "little brothers", you have the "people" part of life so easy.

Maybe we have some advantages too. When I read Bowie's post about not being able to focus on something once he's figured it out, I could relate to that too, but maybe it's much worse for you guys. I've said before that I have a 2-year window. I can stick with something for about 2 years, and then I'm usually ready to move on. For most people, that would be a pretty small window. But, maybe it's even less for you guys. Maybe you're ready to move on the next day, while the INTP's are still thinking it through more in-depth and for a longer period of time.

Question #2: Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship or do you sometimes think you're not cut out for it? I think that sometimes. I like to connect with people on a deep level and exercise my Ne from time to time, but there are times (50% of the time probably) where I think, "I could really live alone and be happy." I've known 4 ENTP's. One divorced and doesn't want to remarry. Two are happily married but fiercely independent (one of which didn't marry until about 40 years old). The last one I don't think will ever get married.

50% of the time, I desire to be in a relationship, the other 50% I just don't want to deal with the headaches and maintenance. Are ENTP's the same way?
 

Timeless

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INTPness,

Procrastination.

Big time.

I had to reinforce myself with sticky notes all over my mirror, laptop, forehead, clock-goal alarm, to tattoos, whatever to keep me in check.

...And I seriously hated that at first, now I just look at those as "reminders" not "day killers" so to speak.

To answer the other question.

Well, I've actually turned on my long-term relationship radar screen now. After a few years of just having fun I want to try something deeper, not to say that I won't turn out an opportunity. I'm looking and I don't believe in that "it will happen stuff" that's like saying you will become rich and healthy by sitting in the coach eating Doritos watching TBS. Me personally, it'd kinda tough to find somebody in my wavelength. Other then that, I did too did not really want to get into a relationship after seeing my friends fail, family on and off, hearing divorce rates, unhappiness rates the whole sha-bang discouraged me.

That changed a while ago, I had an interesting conversation with a lady I met at a Borders bookstore one day and she brought up a quote that I won't forget "It's better to live with an open hurting heart, then a cold lifeless one." I'm paraphrasing big time, but the whole idea is; what the fuck, why be afraid? How do I know things are going to turn out bad? Just because xyz? I'll never know, and all I know for sure is not doing anything is going to give me this: nothing.

I admit, it will probably take me long to settle down (my own inhibitions and insecurities) and I too wouldn't want to "marry" for the sake of tradition, I rather be committed it for the love, not because of some unwritten code of conduct or obligation.

P.S. There are times where I want to shut the world away too (like this weekend) but usually I prefer to be out there, even for the sake of being in the accompany with people and the world.
 

INTPness

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INTPness,

Procrastination.

Big time.

I had to reinforce myself with sticky notes all over my mirror, laptop, forehead, clock-goal alarm, to tattoos, whatever to keep me in check.

...And I seriously hated that at first, now I just look at those as "reminders" not "day killers" so to speak.

It sounds like maybe your wild Ne adds fuel to the "P" too. That's where I think maybe INTP's might have a small advantage in getting things done. I procrastinate with the very best of them, but my Ne isn't primary. I'm thinking the fact that it's primary for you guys and can really run wild all day long probably complicates things.
 

Tamske

Writing...
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Oct 22, 2009
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And they all love you (ENTP guy is so funny. ENTP guy is going out on the town tonight and a bunch of people are going - do you want to go with us?).
I don't do that. I promise to go out and then I'm hooked on another interest and I'll go home and draw MBTI comics instead. If you look at my hobbies, I'm an introvert. If you look at my functions, though... Ne rules, without doubt.

I still see you guys as "people persons" though. A people person, IMO, is not defined by whether or not you can remember names and faces. People can get over it if you don't remember their name. You guys still have the ability to make new friends all day long. There's another thread going right now about how ENTP's need people around them to be productive. You guys enjoy people. I don't. I mean, I do to some extent. I like people. But, I really want to like them from a distance. Call me if you need something, and I'll call you if I need something. Be a part of my network and I'm willing to be a part of yours, but don't bother me too much. It sounds horrible. I care about people more than that, but you see my point. Compared to your INTP "little brothers", you have the "people" part of life so easy.
True, to an extent. It IS frustrating to lose all those new friends because you can't follow up. I have this impression I'm always making excuses.

Question #2: Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship or do you sometimes think you're not cut out for it? I think that sometimes. I like to connect with people on a deep level and exercise my Ne from time to time, but there are times (50% of the time probably) where I think, "I could really live alone and be happy." I've known 4 ENTP's. One divorced and doesn't want to remarry. Two are happily married but fiercely independent (one of which didn't marry until about 40 years old). The last one I don't think will ever get married.

I'm happily married to the best ESTJ in the world, and settled too.
To me, it is not necessary to have a perfect connection and everything. Sometimes you just want to be alone. Sometimes I'm writing and my husband is watching the bicycle race and we don't say anything. There's nothing wrong with that.
A relationship is not "always sticking together" - it's being an individual too and accepting the other is an individual as well. You don't have to cling to somebody. If your potential partner is clinging too much to your desire - time to leave. Or to talk. I can imagine you recoil if somebody says 'we should have a talk about our relationship'. I would, too. But it IS possible to talk about relationships without all that feely fluff that most people connect to such talks. We do it once in a while. In an analyzing T manner.
("Oh, don't worry, the sex will work. Our genes have designed us for it, didn't they?")

50% of the time, I desire to be in a relationship, the other 50% I just don't want to deal with the headaches and maintenance. Are ENTP's the same way?
I've never imagined I would fall in love - that was just not for me. To me, it seemed lovers did all those silly things like stare in each others eyes and talk about nothing else than how much they were in love.
Until, of course, I fell in love. Now I know better. Lovers can talk about interesting things, too. Just choose the right lover.
 

realmsghzx

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-Once I figure something out, regardless of if I've finished it or not, I instantly lose interest and can't, for the life of me, get excited about it again.

-I have too much I want to achieve at one time and sometimes I get frustrated trying to figure out what I should focus on

-Procrastination. It's practically become a lifestyle :doh:

-Sometimes...when I get an idea of something I want to do, or achieve, I think of EVERYTHING. All the ways it could go right, all the ways it could go wrong, how it would effect me and my life in general. And sometimes, once I do this, I don't even want to do it anymore. And then something else pops into my head, and ....on and on.

This is for sure. All of this.

INTPness said:
Question #2: Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship or do you sometimes think you're not cut out for it? I think that sometimes. I like to connect with people on a deep level and exercise my Ne from time to time, but there are times (50% of the time probably) where I think, "I could really live alone and be happy." I've known 4 ENTP's. One divorced and doesn't want to remarry. Two are happily married but fiercely independent (one of which didn't marry until about 40 years old). The last one I don't think will ever get married.

I don't know if I'm cut out for it. I pretty much assume all my relationships are going to end. I don't know though, I really do long for a deep, intimate connection and love from someone. I feel like I have that with my current relationship, but it's always in my head that either she or I could find someone we like more, or one of us may have to move to further a personal goal, or one of us could die. Just the fact that it is most likely finite.

I've often envisioned, if I were ever able to jetset: having multiple, but separate, meaningful relationships. It's really unlikely, but that would be an ideal fantasy to me.

I don't know if I will ever get married, though. If I were to, it would take a really long time.
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
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A relationship is not "always sticking together" - it's being an individual too and accepting the other is an individual as well. You don't have to cling to somebody.

Wow, I can't identify with this any more. Yes, there are relationships in which I could really expand my amount of affection beyond limits known even to me. But I would also be perfectly happy in a relationship with someone who simply accepts me. I'd be willing return the favor.

Both of these situations register okay with me. But I can always ask myself: is there someone who can be both? :huh:
 

MonkeyGrass

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What embarrasses you (if anything)? (I'm asking for insight into a relationship, no ill-intent meant, fyi)
 

Timeless

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What embarrasses you (if anything)? (I'm asking for insight into a relationship, no ill-intent meant, fyi)

I use to get embarrassed a lot in my teenage years, like my ESTJ best friend would use to yell out in public or in front of a fancy restaurant "I'M HUNGRY, WHAT THE FUCK!" or when a guy with a cellphone would be nearby talking in the street; my best friend would talk loudly "YEAH CHRISTIAN, THAT PORNSITE WAS GOOD, I SAW BIG TITS AND BOOTY IN MY FACE!" the guy would turn the other direction, that was hilarious, but made me embarrassed to be around him or anyone who was obnoxious. He still does that kind of shit and now puts random stuff on my Facebook.

It was usually in public.

I rarely got embarrassed in private.

I guess it was my insecurities exposed that embarrassed me back in the day. Nowadays I just have fun with 'em, not all of course, I'm still human.
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

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What embarrasses you (if anything)? (I'm asking for insight into a relationship, no ill-intent meant, fyi)


Most embarrassing is probably when I lose my cool. So you could say getting embarrassed makes me embarrassed. :D
 

sgtmac_46

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OK, the procrastination I can relate to. And I definitely see your point about not really feeling like you're a people person. But, from where I'm standing (INTP - with a heavy I), you guys are brilliant with people. And they all love you (ENTP guy is so funny. ENTP guy is going out on the town tonight and a bunch of people are going - do you want to go with us?).

I still see you guys as "people persons" though. A people person, IMO, is not defined by whether or not you can remember names and faces. People can get over it if you don't remember their name. You guys still have the ability to make new friends all day long. There's another thread going right now about how ENTP's need people around them to be productive. You guys enjoy people. I don't. I mean, I do to some extent. I like people. But, I really want to like them from a distance. Call me if you need something, and I'll call you if I need something. Be a part of my network and I'm willing to be a part of yours, but don't bother me too much. It sounds horrible. I care about people more than that, but you see my point. Compared to your INTP "little brothers", you have the "people" part of life so easy.

Maybe we have some advantages too. When I read Bowie's post about not being able to focus on something once he's figured it out, I could relate to that too, but maybe it's much worse for you guys. I've said before that I have a 2-year window. I can stick with something for about 2 years, and then I'm usually ready to move on. For most people, that would be a pretty small window. But, maybe it's even less for you guys. Maybe you're ready to move on the next day, while the INTP's are still thinking it through more in-depth and for a longer period of time.

Question #2: Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship or do you sometimes think you're not cut out for it? I think that sometimes. I like to connect with people on a deep level and exercise my Ne from time to time, but there are times (50% of the time probably) where I think, "I could really live alone and be happy." I've known 4 ENTP's. One divorced and doesn't want to remarry. Two are happily married but fiercely independent (one of which didn't marry until about 40 years old). The last one I don't think will ever get married.

50% of the time, I desire to be in a relationship, the other 50% I just don't want to deal with the headaches and maintenance. Are ENTP's the same way?

We like an audience/group of followers. We like to win friends and manipulate people.......and what's more we want people to like us manipulating them. Hell, we tell people we're manipulating them, and everyone laughs about it......while we're manipulating them. I don't know if that really makes us 'people persons'.......but it does make us good with people.

As for ENTP's in relationships.........i'm married......just this year......after living with my wife for 8 years and having two kids. I'm fiercely independent.......and if this relationship falls apart for some reason i'm never getting married again........or even getting in a long term relationship. If I end up single I would prefer a series of casual short term relationships.
 

sgtmac_46

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What embarrasses you (if anything)? (I'm asking for insight into a relationship, no ill-intent meant, fyi)

All sorts of things used to embarrass me.........then I made an observation (based on observing the behavior of ESTP's)..........that embarrassment in the sense of social interaction and awkward situations reducing social standing.........is really about how you handle it.

I watched a movie once........I forget the name of it, but there was a train, and a Halloween party going on the train........and a half-drunk ESTP guy in a gorilla suit. Anyway, one of the characters knocked him out, took his gorilla suit to escape, and left him naked.

The ESTP guy comes to, naked, wanders in to the party and says 'Hey, look what happened to me!!!' and proceeds to dance and party while everyone cheers.

Now, what I figured out about embarrassment is this........most of things that cause us embarrassment that results in negative social status loss is a direct result of our embarrassment, NOT the actual act that caused us embarrassment..........when people see us embarrassed they are embarrassed for us........and they like us less because of how we make them feel being around them, i.e. our embarrassment is felt by them, and they see us in a negative context. It's like the cognitive dissonance that is created when someone does something bad to someone else.......they begin to like that person less as a result of doing something bad to them.

Anyway, long story short, I concluded that if you don't take yourself too seriously and laugh at embarrassing moments, even make a joke out of it to make others laugh, nobody has that cognitive dissonance moment, and actually like you BETTER for making them feel good about the embarrassing moment.......and you appear more confident for being able to laugh at it.

Now the only thing that really makes me embarrassed is being caught up in something that makes me look intellectually incompetent.
 

entropie

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We like an audience/group of followers. We like to win friends and manipulate people.......and what's more we want people to like us manipulating them. Hell, we tell people we're manipulating them, and everyone laughs about it......while we're manipulating them. I don't know if that really makes us 'people persons'.......but it does make us good with people.

A professional con man would never admit that :shock:
 

sgtmac_46

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A professional con man would never admit that :shock:

I'm not a professional.......only an occasionally clever amateur......

More to the point.......unlike, say, some SP types who manipulate for personal gain......I suspect most ENTP's just manipulate as an experiment to see if they can do it......and once they do, become bored with the skill like everything else, only to drag it out occasionally to demonstrate it........we're ENTP's.......what's the point of discovering some clever way of doing something, if no one gets to admire how clever it is?
 
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