ENTJ's, describe yourself as children

[Sahara]

As the title says I'm looking to learn more about the ENTJ as a child so it would be really helpful to me if you could answer some questions.

1 - Were you aggressive as children, and get into fights in the school yard?

2 - Were you defiant in general when someone else was telling you what to do?

3 - Were you ever dominating and forceful with those around you, teachers, other children, and parents and siblings, seeking to control your environment as much as possible?

4 - What was your relationship like with your parents as a child especially if you had an NF parent?

5 - What type of activities were your favourite as a child?

6 - What would be the biggest failure in adults/parents towards you as a child in understanding you?

7 - Describe how an adult would have succeeeded better at understanding you and motivating you?

That will be all for now, no doubt I will think of more later.

[Veneti]

Originally Posted by Sahara

As the title says I'm looking to learn more about the ENTJ as a child so it would be really helpful to me if you could answer some questions.

1 - Were you aggressive as children, and get into fights in the school yard?

2 - Were you defiant in general when someone else was telling you what to do?

3 - Were you ever dominating and forceful with those around you, teachers, other children, and parents and siblings, seeking to control your environment as much as possible?

4 - What was your relationship like with your parents as a child especially if you had an NF parent?

5 - What type of activities were your favourite as a child?

6 - What would be the biggest failure in adults/parents towards you as a child in understanding you?

7 - Describe how an adult would have succeeeded better at understanding you and motivating you?

That will be all for now, no doubt I will think of more later.

Well, I'm INTJ, and moderately on the "I", I type as a 3 in that ennangram (sp) test as an "achiever" rather than the 5 (enquirer) which is the usual INTJ profile. I can flip towards extroversion quite easily.

So I think I can tell you pretty definitely how my ENTJ side works.

1) Aggressive. I had a definite sense of purpose, like I really knew what was right and what was wrong, and I'd never budge an inch on something I felt important. First day at school I "punched out" the class bully and asserted my dominance, but that was more on principle as I didn't like anyone being picked on. I enjoyed fighting and fought often (Its a family thing, my sister used to punch out boys and make them cry). Perhaps no wonder that a teacher said I was "viking". I absolutely excelled in sports, if my mind was set on winning, my body would be forced to achieve it. Aggressive no, determined and resolute yes.

2) Defiant. Not to superiors (teachers etc). I knew the benefit of conformance to those who could cause me problems. Probably the J kicking in. I used to challenge teachers, I remember as a very young child (probably about 5.5 years) arguing with the teacher and saying in front of the class that she only thought she was right because she was taller than me. Saying what a waste of time handwriting practice was when we could learn something like maths.

3) Controlling my environment. Interesting, its one of the reasons why I found turning to introversion better. Challenging everyone all the time was too much (and as a child I wouldn't have been right all the time).

4)Both my parents at INTJ's and sibblings most likely eNTJ's. So there's never been an issue. Pretty idillic life in comparison to what I see and hear of other peoples early years.

5) Sport, debating, arguing, maths, fighting.

6) Not being as socially active in terms of allowing me to bring all my friends over to stay etc. They were too self centred and saw it as too much effort. They should have given me a "budget" for buying books as I would read everything and anything around the house. I also really enjoyed building things, so anything that aided that would have been great.

7) Providing more "opened ended" problem solving. Too much at school was prescriptive. My absolute best day at primary school was when the teacher provided a huge pile of newspapers and reels of string and we had to spend the whole day building something free standing that would touch the roof (In small teams). It damned near fried my brain as I really really wanted to achieve it and no team did. (As an adult this would be an easy task). Biggest problem at school is there are very few NT teachers. Probably only in Science (Which probably used to account for why so many INTJ go into science????).

[FDG]

Originally Posted by Sahara

As the title says I'm looking to learn more about the ENTJ as a child so it would be really helpful to me if you could answer some questions.

1 - Were you aggressive as children, and get into fights in the school yard?

Nah. I liked to go out and play soccer with my friends. Everybody fights from time to time when playing, but no more no less than my other extraverted friends. Moreover, the neighborhood and school I went to were primary composed by below-average class, thus if you wanted to get into a fight, well, you'd end up to the hospital.

2 - Were you defiant in general when someone else was telling you what to do?

Yes I generally resisted unless I saw a good reason as to why they were telling me so. But not that much, I mean, I'd just refuse to do what they told me.

However, I was especially resistant towards those that held authority over me. Teachers, etc those that could really have an "impact" on my life and make it a living hell if they only wanted. Probably it was the taste of playing with fire.

3 - Were you ever dominating and forceful with those around you, teachers, other children, and parents and siblings, seeking to control your environment as much as possible?

No, not really. Just like now, I couldn't (and can't) care less about dominating the environment. I want to do my own thing.

4 - What was your relationship like with your parents as a child especially if you had an NF parent?

Pretty good, even though I didn't have a NF parent.

5 - What type of activities were your favourite as a child?

I definitely liked best playing sports and hanging out with my friends.

6 - What would be the biggest failure in adults/parents towards you as a child in understanding you?

When they tried to limit my options.

7 - Describe how an adult would have succeeeded better at understanding you and motivating you?

If they just always let me do my own thing without interfering.

BTW I'm probably different from Veneti because I'm an Enneagram 7w8 (and I've never been able to get along with 3s)

[runvardh]

Sahara, think one of your kiddies is an ENTJ?

[INTJMom]

If you need more help dealing with an ENTJ child, I highly recommend this book:
Nurture By Nature

[Maverick]

Originally Posted by Sahara

1 - Were you aggressive as children, and get into fights in the school yard?

Not really. I thought fighting was stupid generally. I would try to stop fights and calm down others. But if it was for the right cause, I would. For example, I once had to fight with another kid for bullying someone else.

2 - Were you defiant in general when someone else was telling you what to do?

It depends who it was and what they were saying. Generally, I had strong respect for people in authority who were competent (such as teachers). However, if someone asked me to do something I thought was completely illogical or unreasonable, I would simply refuse to do it no matter who it was. Also, I could not really pay attention to what someone would ask me to do (even considering my respect for the person). This was a problem when learning how to *do* things. I preferred to learn on my own for that, because I was not able to do what someone else wanted me to do when they said it.

3 - Were you ever dominating and forceful with those around you, teachers, other children, and parents and siblings, seeking to control your environment as much as possible?

Not really "controlling". I liked to argue alot and would challenge my teachers' knowledge on things, which would annoy some a great deal and make me respected by others. I never imposed anything to my friends. I had a healthy amount of influence and could just suggest things. I was very level-headed and calm. I was generally well respected and people would listen to what I had to tell them. I was never interested in forcing people to do things, but rather convincing them of my ways through reason.

4 - What was your relationship like with your parents as a child especially if you had an NF parent?

I have an ENFP mom and an ISTJ dad. I like(d) my parents a great deal, and would spend alot of time discussing with them. I adored my mom and it was quite difficult for her when I wanted to assert my independence. My father and I got along great. He would always joke about how annoying it was of me to always argue everything he asked me to do. I'd tell him it was only because most of the time he didn't know why himself

5 - What type of activities were your favourite as a child?

Well, I loved video games, computers, strategy games, building cities in lego (had one that took my whole room), playing 1-1 sports, riding my bike, reading any non-fiction books from "how does it work" to dinosaurs, astronomy, and egyptian mythology. I was pretty social and liked hanging out with my buddies (boys or girls). Oh, and talking on the phone was one of my main activities to the great despair of my parents.

6 - What would be the biggest failure in adults/parents towards you as a child in understanding you?

Being scared of handling responsibility and independence that other children could not normally handle but that an ENTJ child is craving.

7 - Describe how an adult would have succeeeded better at understanding you and motivating you?

Don't ask me to do things, it cuts my motivation. Also, if its not my project, I generally won't be motivated in doing it. Finally, I *do* have many feelings, they just don't show.

[PurpleCloud]

1 - Were you aggressive as children, and get into fights in the school yard?
I would not get into a lot of physical fights. But verbal ones were an everyday thing, but they were all worthy causes (such as, people making fun of my friends, or myself).

2 - Were you defiant in general when someone else was telling you what to do? Umm. . . I would always question why they wanted me to do whatever they were asking of me. If they provided a reasonable enough explanation, I'd agree to obey.

3 - Were you ever dominating and forceful with those around you, teachers, other children, and parents and siblings, seeking to control your environment as much as possible?
Yes. My brother actually had trouble learning to speak because he suffered of what is refered to as "Dominant Older Sibling Syndrome" (that's just one example).

4 - What was your relationship like with your parents as a child especially if you had an NF parent?
I DO have an NF parent. Thankfully they both had the capacity to set clear limits for me, and would punish me if I went pass them. My NF dad had to take it upon himself to learn to this, and be constant about it (inconsistency shows weakness).

5 - What type of activities were your favourite as a child?
Let's see: reading, writing, playing the piano and the violin, gymnastics, playing with my dog, singing, anything we did at school (I was very active in school), debating just for the sake of it =) (as far as debates go when you're a kid, hehe).

6 - What would be the biggest failure in adults/parents towards you as a child in understanding you?


7 - Describe how an adult would have succeeded better at understanding you and motivating you?
I was goal-oriented when I was a kid. If my parents would have defined specific goals every year, they would be a motivation in and of themselves. They did do this sometimes, but not always. I viewed (and still currently do) goals as challenges, and was always willing to take on a challenge =), and I usually succeeded in fulfilling them.

[armstrongvk12]

I never had a problem with aggression as a child, although I am and have always been extremely outspoken...regardless of the other person's age, position or..whatever! I will verbally smack you down if I believe that the other person is taking advantage of someone or involved in something I believe to be morally wrong.

Yes, I was defiant as a rule, if I believed that the person in authority was being unfair or ruling in an injust manner. One time I was banished into my room as a 6th grader, and I can remember jumping out the window and going outside to play...and my parents NEVER found out.

I can or will be dominant with others around me if I believe that those around me do not have the skill set to accomplish whatever it is that we are doing. But I do not always try to dominate, especially if I respect you and/or think that you know what you are doing.

My mother told me that she was afraid to punish me too harshly because I would have run away from home. I'm not sure what my mother was, but I believe that my father was an INTJ.

I was/am really active, especially art, dance, played an instrument, etc. I was an "A" student, not because my parents encouraged me (as they did not!), but because I wanted to do it for myself. I was very self motivated in CSF and student government, as well as art service. Love to travel, go to museums, plays, concerts, etc.

As a female ENTJ, parents and teachers need to encourage you to be all that you can be and stop telling girls that they need to find husbands. My parents NEVER encouraged me to go to college, yet I graduated in the top 5% of my class.

ENTJs need opportunities to constantly keep learning and given opportunities to lead others. Let them take chances and do not hold them back. They are the future Bill Gates and Al Gores that can help the world in a BIG way if you let them and give them the change. Especially is you pair them with an INFJ or someone similar.