NF-NT pairing - Page 9

WoodsWoman · 06-20-2009, 05:25 PM

Very...
Thank you iwakar.

faith · 06-24-2009, 08:25 PM

I'm roughly 2+ years into a relationship with an INTP. For me, it's a very nice match.

~ His tendency to underexpress emotion provides a feeling of stability and security. Just being around him helps me calm down when I'm upset. It's like going into a quiet, peaceful room where I can rest.
~ Underexpression of emotion does not mean lack of feeling. He cares very deeply about a number of things, including our relationship.
~ I love the way he uses humor to call attention to my occasional irrationality. It diffuses my inner stress and creates a moment of shared intimacy when I realize that he can read my thoughts.
~ He rarely takes things personally. It's difficult to offend him.
~ The Ni/Ti combination is so helpful at times. He explains in careful detail what I "just know".
~ My flights of fancy amuse rather than annoy or confuse him.

I know there are some negatives, but at the moment I'm having a hard time coming up with them. Oh, yeah...

~ He really doesn't seem to care about social expectations. Sometimes I wish he would.
~ I can't always intuit his emotional state, and he doesn't often express it explicitly and in careful detail (as I do). It's not so terrible that he doesn't, but it just means I'm hindered from catering to it (as I'd like to).
~ Occasionally it makes me sad for him, to imagine how disconnected he feels from other people. We've talked about this a lot. He doesn't seem to care that he's disconnected, but it does seem a shame from my point of view.

There are many more positives and negatives, of course, but I tried to limit it to things that seem more generalizable to our mbti types.

Fife · 08-07-2009, 03:45 PM

I've observed two NF-NT relationships - one between my parents, the other me and my ENTJ ex.

Mum is INTP and Dad INFJ - there seems to really be love there, but Dad gets on Mum's nerves sometimes by being quite distant and grouchy - particularly when she's sick. I guess he doesn't like the lack of control when he wants her to be well. But I've definitely learned a lot watching their relationship, and try to learn from Dad's behaviour how I could change my own and from Mum a rational perspective. Always easier to learn from other people.

My ex and I really connected due to the whole discussion of ideas thing. We were together for about a year. It was the emotional/rational dynamic which threw us off in the end. He wanted to become a multi-millionaire, and I wanted to go help developing nations. Looking back it was when we shared these goals that things started going down-hill.

Atm I'm starting to fall for this INTJ at uni.

runvardh · 08-07-2009, 04:55 PM

Fife, that seems less emotional/rational and more values based; but that's a comment based on the little information given.

I dated an INTP for a few months then ran after getting scared of the heat. I didn't have near the confidence I do now, not that I have much now. LOL

Fife · 08-07-2009, 05:20 PM

Hmm, good point. The way we dealt with conflict was the major area which showcased the difference type-wise.

Quote:

I dated an INTP for a few months then ran after getting scared of the heat.

Heat in what sense?

runvardh · 08-07-2009, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fife

Heat in what sense?

I didn't feel I was worth it; didn't know at that time NTs don't let you have that untill they find you worthy. I was young and dumb, still kind of am I think.

Fife · 08-07-2009, 05:32 PM

Hmm, definitely relate to that feeling (and condition!)

Yargh. Another INTJ mate of mine was trolling me IRL for the past few weeks. I was ignoring it, so he kept going to find my limit.

Frustrating, but funny at the same time.

runvardh · 08-07-2009, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fife

Hmm, definitely relate to that feeling (and condition!)

Yargh. Another INTJ mate of mine was trolling me IRL for the past few weeks. I was ignoring it, so he kept going to find my limit.

Frustrating, but funny at the same time.

I say kiss him, giggle and watch how uncomfortable he gets.

Bubbles · 08-07-2009, 09:47 PM

Quote:

I dated an INTP for a few months then ran after getting scared of the heat. I didn't have near the confidence I do now, not that I have much now. LOL

This is so true. OMG. Just, yes. INTPs have a secret Fe weapon capable of affection overload.

May they use their powers for good instead of evil.

runvardh · 08-07-2009, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubbles

This is so true. OMG. Just, yes. INTPs have a secret Fe weapon capable of affection overload.

May they use their powers for good instead of evil.

Na, let the evil rain baby

, two introverts need to spice things up some how

On that note: I have yet to sleep with a T...

06-20-2009, 05:25 PM	#81 (permalink)
WoodsWoman Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Type: INFP Location: New England Posts: 746	Very... Thank you iwakar. __________________ WoodsWoman - widow 4w5 sp/sx

08-07-2009, 04:55 PM	#84 (permalink)
runvardh 悪猫 Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: INFP Location: In the bed and under it... Posts: 7,769	Fife, that seems less emotional/rational and more values based; but that's a comment based on the little information given. I dated an INTP for a few months then ran after getting scared of the heat. I didn't have near the confidence I do now, not that I have much now. LOL __________________ Dreams are best served manifest and tangible. INFP, 4w5 sx/sp, IEI I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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06-24-2009, 08:25 PM	#82 (permalink)
faith Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: INFJ Location: Alabama Posts: 388	I'm roughly 2+ years into a relationship with an INTP. For me, it's a very nice match. ~ His tendency to underexpress emotion provides a feeling of stability and security. Just being around him helps me calm down when I'm upset. It's like going into a quiet, peaceful room where I can rest. ~ Underexpression of emotion does not mean lack of feeling. He cares very deeply about a number of things, including our relationship. ~ I love the way he uses humor to call attention to my occasional irrationality. It diffuses my inner stress and creates a moment of shared intimacy when I realize that he can read my thoughts. ~ He rarely takes things personally. It's difficult to offend him. ~ The Ni/Ti combination is so helpful at times. He explains in careful detail what I "just know". ~ My flights of fancy amuse rather than annoy or confuse him. I know there are some negatives, but at the moment I'm having a hard time coming up with them. Oh, yeah... ~ He really doesn't seem to care about social expectations. Sometimes I wish he would. ~ I can't always intuit his emotional state, and he doesn't often express it explicitly and in careful detail (as I do). It's not so terrible that he doesn't, but it just means I'm hindered from catering to it (as I'd like to). ~ Occasionally it makes me sad for him, to imagine how disconnected he feels from other people. We've talked about this a lot. He doesn't seem to care that he's disconnected, but it does seem a shame from my point of view. There are many more positives and negatives, of course, but I tried to limit it to things that seem more generalizable to our mbti types.

08-07-2009, 03:45 PM	#83 (permalink)
Fife Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Type: INFJ Posts: 76	I've observed two NF-NT relationships - one between my parents, the other me and my ENTJ ex. Mum is INTP and Dad INFJ - there seems to really be love there, but Dad gets on Mum's nerves sometimes by being quite distant and grouchy - particularly when she's sick. I guess he doesn't like the lack of control when he wants her to be well. But I've definitely learned a lot watching their relationship, and try to learn from Dad's behaviour how I could change my own and from Mum a rational perspective. Always easier to learn from other people. My ex and I really connected due to the whole discussion of ideas thing. We were together for about a year. It was the emotional/rational dynamic which threw us off in the end. He wanted to become a multi-millionaire, and I wanted to go help developing nations. Looking back it was when we shared these goals that things started going down-hill. Atm I'm starting to fall for this INTJ at uni.

08-07-2009, 05:32 PM	#87 (permalink)
Fife Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Type: INFJ Posts: 76	Hmm, definitely relate to that feeling (and condition!) Yargh. Another INTJ mate of mine was trolling me IRL for the past few weeks. I was ignoring it, so he kept going to find my limit. Frustrating, but funny at the same time.