NF and SP Friendships

soleil · 10-11-2008, 10:57 PM

I really would like some input you guys. I have a friend (my only female friend) who happens to be an ESFP. I've known her since I was 8 years old. We are like complete opposites, minus the FP aspect. I've been having an issue with her lately. I asked her to accompany me to a show that I been dying to go to. She said she'd go and I was looking forward for us to go together since I usually go alone. I don't know anyone with my taste in music or anything really for that matter. Anyway, I gave her a month's notice and it's coming up this Monday. Tickets are most likely to sell out and if she plans to go it would be a good idea for her to purchase them now. Well, she hasn't responded to me yet, and it's been a week. I've left her text and voice messages with no response. I really just want to know if she's coming or not. I have a feeling she doesn't want to go because one of her favorite shows "Gossip Girl" will be on and various other reality programs. I really thought it'd be a good gesture for her as a friend to come with me at least one time. I'm pretty upset because I go to the mall to help her pick out clothing/shoes and other things that interests her. I don't shop at malls or desire to go to one, but I go....NO PROBLEM. Shouldn't friends compromise and make the best of things because of friendship??? I know it sucks that I don't know any intuitive friends (I would sell my family down the river for some!!!

). Luckily, I do have guy friends that are receptive and are down to give things a shot and are generally open about things. I sometimes just want to hang and bond with a chick, is that asking for too much?!!

How would you react if you were in my shoes? Has anyone experienced this from other types or with people in general? Any feedback would be great!

Jeffster · 10-11-2008, 11:00 PM

So, wait, are you saying that if you had an intuitive friend, that person would automatically be more considerate?

There's nothing in the particular story you've laid out to indicate that type difference has much to do with any of it.

prplchknz · 10-11-2008, 11:05 PM

dude, just tell her she can watch it online the next day. I mean, the internet and tivo exist for a reason. but yeah I agree with Jeffster, I don't think this has to do with type, cuz I've been known to change my mind last minute about things. and I'll go sometimes but I usually don't have a good time.

soleil · 10-11-2008, 11:05 PM

I guess I'm thinking due to our personality differences it could be a problem? Maybe it's asking for too much. It was more of me venting. I just want to know why I can compromise things for her, but she can't with me. I actually accidently pressed submit before I could finish up. I would appreciate an ENFP's input!!

prplchknz · 10-11-2008, 11:08 PM

I've had friends I'm always compromising my plans for but then they won't for me. So I just began with those people doing what I want, I don't care if they get upset because they did the same thing to me. what goes around comes around.

soleil · 10-11-2008, 11:11 PM

Well, ok thanks. I shouldn't of even said anything, lol. It is what it is.

soleil · 10-11-2008, 11:15 PM

Nothing. I don't think there's anything to say that's why I responded that way. I just wanted to vent. I should of phrased my words differently.

Jeffster · 10-11-2008, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soleil

Well, ok thanks. I shouldn't of even said anything, lol. It is what it is.

Nah, your topic still has potential. We could talk about all sorts of crazy things! I've had several NF friendships, and the ones that stayed friendships are great. The ones where we decided to take it further than that all ended badly. So I have to remember that, even though I'm irresistibly sexy, I need to say no to you NF women when you throw yourselves at me, for fear of repeated heart failure.

OneWithSoul · 10-11-2008, 11:16 PM

That's a coincidence, I guess..because my best friend is an ESFP and I've asked other INFPs, and NFs too, if they have any friends in the SP category, and I don't usually get positive results, so..how nice

soleil · 10-11-2008, 11:21 PM

Maybe I feel I expect more from her and I think that might be a problem. ENFP's often have things planned out in our heads, even visualizing how things will be. I'm a little disappointed with myself for even asking. I should try not to take things too personally.

10-11-2008, 10:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
soleil Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Type: ENFP Location: In A Van Down By The River Posts: 340	NF and SP Friendships I really would like some input you guys. I have a friend (my only female friend) who happens to be an ESFP. I've known her since I was 8 years old. We are like complete opposites, minus the FP aspect. I've been having an issue with her lately. I asked her to accompany me to a show that I been dying to go to. She said she'd go and I was looking forward for us to go together since I usually go alone. I don't know anyone with my taste in music or anything really for that matter. Anyway, I gave her a month's notice and it's coming up this Monday. Tickets are most likely to sell out and if she plans to go it would be a good idea for her to purchase them now. Well, she hasn't responded to me yet, and it's been a week. I've left her text and voice messages with no response. I really just want to know if she's coming or not. I have a feeling she doesn't want to go because one of her favorite shows "Gossip Girl" will be on and various other reality programs. I really thought it'd be a good gesture for her as a friend to come with me at least one time. I'm pretty upset because I go to the mall to help her pick out clothing/shoes and other things that interests her. I don't shop at malls or desire to go to one, but I go....NO PROBLEM. Shouldn't friends compromise and make the best of things because of friendship??? I know it sucks that I don't know any intuitive friends (I would sell my family down the river for some!!! ). Luckily, I do have guy friends that are receptive and are down to give things a shot and are generally open about things. I sometimes just want to hang and bond with a chick, is that asking for too much?!! How would you react if you were in my shoes? Has anyone experienced this from other types or with people in general? Any feedback would be great! __________________ "Self-revelation is a cruel process. The real picture, the real you never emerges. Looking for it is as bewildering as trying to know how you really look. Ten different mirrors show you ten different faces." 4w5 sx/so/sp

10-11-2008, 11:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jeffster RIP Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: isFp Location: College Station, Texas Posts: 4,526	So, wait, are you saying that if you had an intuitive friend, that person would automatically be more considerate? There's nothing in the particular story you've laid out to indicate that type difference has much to do with any of it. __________________ Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here "You are a wise man, O Jeffster of the Innerwebz." -- Pink Piranha

10-11-2008, 11:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
prplchknz and free bunnies! Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: INFP Posts: 4,274	dude, just tell her she can watch it online the next day. I mean, the internet and tivo exist for a reason. but yeah I agree with Jeffster, I don't think this has to do with type, cuz I've been known to change my mind last minute about things. and I'll go sometimes but I usually don't have a good time. __________________ "It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; ......if you drink much from a bottle marked `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later."-Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland My pupils are not students they dilate but they never learn. my pupils are not students they dilate but they never learn. ~ Marilyn Manson.

10-11-2008, 11:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
soleil Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Type: ENFP Location: In A Van Down By The River Posts: 340	I guess I'm thinking due to our personality differences it could be a problem? Maybe it's asking for too much. It was more of me venting. I just want to know why I can compromise things for her, but she can't with me. I actually accidently pressed submit before I could finish up. I would appreciate an ENFP's input!! __________________ "Self-revelation is a cruel process. The real picture, the real you never emerges. Looking for it is as bewildering as trying to know how you really look. Ten different mirrors show you ten different faces." 4w5 sx/so/sp

10-11-2008, 11:08 PM	#5 (permalink)
prplchknz and free bunnies! Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: INFP Posts: 4,274	I've had friends I'm always compromising my plans for but then they won't for me. So I just began with those people doing what I want, I don't care if they get upset because they did the same thing to me. what goes around comes around. __________________ "It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; ......if you drink much from a bottle marked `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later."-Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland My pupils are not students they dilate but they never learn. my pupils are not students they dilate but they never learn. ~ Marilyn Manson.

10-11-2008, 11:11 PM	#6 (permalink)
soleil Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Type: ENFP Location: In A Van Down By The River Posts: 340	Well, ok thanks. I shouldn't of even said anything, lol. It is what it is. __________________ "Self-revelation is a cruel process. The real picture, the real you never emerges. Looking for it is as bewildering as trying to know how you really look. Ten different mirrors show you ten different faces." 4w5 sx/so/sp

10-11-2008, 11:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
soleil Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Type: ENFP Location: In A Van Down By The River Posts: 340	Nothing. I don't think there's anything to say that's why I responded that way. I just wanted to vent. I should of phrased my words differently. __________________ "Self-revelation is a cruel process. The real picture, the real you never emerges. Looking for it is as bewildering as trying to know how you really look. Ten different mirrors show you ten different faces." 4w5 sx/so/sp

10-11-2008, 11:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
OneWithSoul Infernite! Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: ENFP Location: Potsdam, NY Posts: 1,464	That's a coincidence, I guess..because my best friend is an ESFP and I've asked other INFPs, and NFs too, if they have any friends in the SP category, and I don't usually get positive results, so..how nice __________________ Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream?

10-11-2008, 11:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
soleil Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Type: ENFP Location: In A Van Down By The River Posts: 340	Maybe I feel I expect more from her and I think that might be a problem. ENFP's often have things planned out in our heads, even visualizing how things will be. I'm a little disappointed with myself for even asking. I should try not to take things too personally. __________________ "Self-revelation is a cruel process. The real picture, the real you never emerges. Looking for it is as bewildering as trying to know how you really look. Ten different mirrors show you ten different faces." 4w5 sx/so/sp

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