NFs: what makes you angry?

[Anja]

Originally Posted by Neo Genesis

So I know that there's already a general thread in the Bonfire section, but I'm interested in what angers the NF personas specifically. Also, note that I'm talking about personality/ideological differences, not specific incidences. So...

1) What makes you angry?

2) Do you get angry often?

3) How do you deal with the problem?

4) How quick are you to resolve this emotion?

5) When you get angry, are your friends and family generally surprised at the content that makes you so?

If there are any other questions that you would like to ask, feel free, as long as it remains on topic.

1) Social injustice, cruelty

2) I get angry when I make a mistake. I get angry when my memory fails me. I get angry when I accidently hurt myself. I like to think of my anger regarding other people as optional and a choice I consciously make. That keeps the "You made me angry" stuff to a minumum and helps me feel in control of my own emotions.

3) I recognize that no one can control my feelings but I and then I use whatever tehnique will work to deal with it. I try to avoid quick fixes.

4) Some issues have taken a long time and are still in process. (This winter I finally released a thirty-three year-old resentment. Yay! Freedom at last.) The day-to-day stuff can be dealt with within an afternoon or so.

5) No, I think I'm fairly predictable to friends and family.

A comment: I spend a long time being frightened of my anger. I would stuff it and periodically explode, dumping it indescriminately on anyone in my path. After years of storing bits and pieces when it finally came out it would be huge and unpredictable. Fear of it was most appropriate. Glass broke and things got broken and like that. Worse yet, relationships were damaged in moments.

I am still cautious when I feel my anger rising and have found that inane old "count to ten" advice to be valuable. I will literally say to my self, "Stop and think, Anja, before you speak." Best advice I ever gave myself!

[mlittrell]

1) people who automatically assume they are right in a subject they know near to nothing about. narrow mindedness i suppose you could say. not taking all possibilities into account

2) very very rarely

3) let go. i just take a deep breath and 5 minutes later im fine

4) ^ 5 minutes at the absolute latest

5) theyve never seen me really angry

[Leysing]

I don't get angry. I get sad or upset or annoyed, but not angry. (Random, stressful incidents make an exception... ESTJ shadow.)