Comforting NFs

[Kai]

It's clear that there's no one fit answer to how comforting should be done. :/

The right to be upset. is something I've not gotten to grips with. I can appreciate that someone is upset, but I know that there is usually two sides to a story or that it was merely a case of misinterpretation. In that situation...

Do you still let others be upset or try and clarify the situation?

I approach my own problems by viewing all sides. But I get the impression that people don't usually appreciate this method... trying to remove the thing that's causing unhappiness.

[Lady X]

i think i like someone to offer to talk but not pry...and offer sweet gestures like taking me to do something fun...or bringing me a funny movie or something else to cheer me up like pie...
or just lay snuggled up with me pet my head a lil bit while we watch tv...just so i know they're there if i decide i do want to talk.

wow...i sound like such a lil puppy don't i?

[tibby]

I usually withdraw to my "shell" , because usually my sadness is caused by external reasons (other people). When I'm sad, company and support are much valuated . In many cases I also appreciate intruding my boundaries in a playful manner. Caring and considerate approach with a twist of humour work. Positive vibes is what would comfort me , even though I might llook like I want privacy (and most of the time think it is what I need, when it's in the contrary).

[JocktheMotie]

Originally Posted by erinavery

wow...i sound like such a lil puppy don't i?

Yes...but everyone loves puppies. Also this thread is good for taking notes.

[Wild horses]

I like to be left alone but this is mainly due to the fact that I find it difficult to express negative emotions around others. So if I am going to actually deal with the problem (which has to be mega serious before I will view it as a problem) then I will have to be alone, however, sometimes even when I am alone I chose not to 'go there', not to deal with it and throw myself into normal life being around people and being as normal as possible, almost as if nothing has hapened at all. I usually find that the problem effects me physically then though So I know what I like but I don't know what's best for me clearly LOL

[ladypinkington]

What I need most is to be comforted by someone by talking it out with an objective person. Someone who will listen to me whine and acknowledge the validity of my feelings and truely listen-then will make me see other people's POV- for instance the type of person who will tell you, did you ever consider the spider is just as much afraid of you as you are of it-after they have given that insight and after words of encouragement to be then kicked in the butt lovingly- stop moping and whining and do something about it you big baby and I'll be right here with you!

I feel most comforted when I know that people expect me to stand tall and have courage and integrity and hold my feet to those fires, I know that they expect it because they see me as capable- and that to me is the most comforting gift I could be given.

That is how I am best comforted.
In any type of problem or sadness.
I need someone to appeal to my nobler motives.

[Amargith]

I want someone to hold me and very important, not judge me. I tend to use my SO for this. Plenty of physical contact, ranting/sobbing and being listened to usually cure whatever ails me. I guess its where the childlike innocent behavior of an ENFP really shows through...*smiles*

I'm with WH, though, I don't do this unless with my SO or with a really good friend and I can't keep it in longer.

[LunaIndigo]

I do like to be alone because I hate people seeing me cry unless they're extremely close to me (boyfriend, mom, best friends). But being a 4 on top of that makes me secretly wish that someone would seek me out and try to get to the bottom of it. Sometimes when I'm upset I wish they would read my mind so I wouldn't have to explain it all over again. Confusing I know but I'm just a difficult person.

[aufs klo]

Originally Posted by LunaIndigo

But being a 4 on top of that makes me secretly wish that someone would seek me out and try to get to the bottom of it. Sometimes when I'm upset I wish they would read my mind so I wouldn't have to explain it all over again. Confusing I know but I'm just a difficult person.

I know that feeling! Is asking my friends to be telepathic really too much to ask?

My best friend actually DID actually tell me exactly what I wanted her to say, and while it took her a while to figure it out, I appreciated it SO MUCH (especially since the fight was about how she didn't get me)!

[runvardh]

Comfort? Me? Pfft, yeah right! So far only internet people have actually tried...