ENFP's and Social Anxiety/Shyness...

[Lizzy1813]

Originally Posted by kyuuei

Me: <ring ing.>
Person: Hello?
Me: Hey! Where are ya'll at?!
Person: So-and-so's playing rock band!
(INSERT CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOVEL HERE!)
Me on page 2: Rockin! I love that game, can I come?!
Person: Sure!

Me on page 3: (Hmm.. there was no invitation in that sentence! Maybe they don't want me to go?! Surely they would have said something..)
Person: Hello?
Me: (Well if I just say something that might be rude.. what if they didn't want me there? Are they trying to drop a hint? I'm terrible at guessing games!)
Person: Heeeelllloo?
Me: Oh! Yeah. Okay, that's cool.

Me on page 4: (Hmm. No invitation?) Oh! Well that's cool! Ya'll having fun?
Person: (usually) Yeah!
Me: (Still no invite!?) Well that rocks! That games pretty hard.
Person: I know it. Blahblahblah. You know you can just come over.
Me: Oh! right!

And for me:

Me on page 5: (Hmm. No invitation. Does that mean they are angry with me? Did I do something yesterday to get them all upset? I don't think
I did anything...though I think I might have been a little emphatic about relating my choking-on-a-grape story. Maybe that was a bit too gross for them. Maybe they think I'm too wierd now. They've decided to let me go--this game thing is just the beginning. *Inward moan as thoughts continue to spiral*)
Person: HELLOOOOO??
Me: Oh! Sorry, I was lost there for a second, what did you say?
Person: I said: you wanna come over?
Me: Oh! Yeah! Great!!!

[Modern Nomad]

Originally Posted by soleil

I often get ticked off! I think I could snap a few necks!!! I question people a lot. Are they for real? I get palpatiations all over, lol. I sometimes have to go for a walk or run some cold water, hehe. I think people are too insensitive, but lawd if you say something wrong to them they are quick to scream, shout, taking off their jewelry! Wooo.

yeah, i usually like.... crack my knuckles pretty obviously and stare at them in the eyes if they are really rude or give off some arsehole vibe. i guess it helped that i was on the boxing team in college...

this happens to me a lot less after i moved back to la tho...

[PinkIceTD]

Yeah I'm around 68% Extroverted, but I def feel uncomfortable in certain social situations. I think I read somewhere that ENFPs are the most introverted of the extroverted types. I can see how that is true

[PinkIceTD]

Yeah me too, I must be invited. But sometimes even when I'm invited I dont go, even if I really want to...

[kyuuei]

Originally Posted by Lizzy1813

And for me:

Me on page 5: (Hmm. No invitation. Does that mean they are angry with me? Did I do something yesterday to get them all upset? I don't think
I did anything...though I think I might have been a little emphatic about relating my choking-on-a-grape story. Maybe that was a bit too gross for them. Maybe they think I'm too wierd now. They've decided to let me go--this game thing is just the beginning. *Inward moan as thoughts continue to spiral*)
Person: HELLOOOOO??
Me: Oh! Sorry, I was lost there for a second, what did you say?
Person: I said: you wanna come over?
Me: Oh! Yeah! Great!!!

Omg! I don't know how I missed that one XD I've definitely had that conversation before.

[Twixt]

Haha i totally get this too. Sometimes i'm not even sure if I'm an ENFP, or more of an INFP? My E percentage is only a litttle higher than my I percentage.

I think i get that 'intuitive-in-a-sensor environment' thing. And I DEFINITELY get those worries about INVITATIONS (ahh the agony!)

Like, i always worry if im imposing on others, forcing my company on them when they didn't EXPLICITLY say they wanted me there. Or even if they DID, how can i be sure they really meant it? Maybe they just invited me to seem polite, or because it was the socially acceptable thing to do, or...? Okay i know im probably not making any sense at all.

I don't know, is this like mild paranoia or something? Is it just me or do other ENFPs get this feeling of extreme uncertainty and discomfort?

I think this has something to do with ENFPs being very affirming creatures... We need LOTS of concrete affirmation as well??

[Hexis]

My E has scored 100% the past three times ive tested and i do have the same problem you have. Its really weird, depending on my mood, whos there, what the conversation is about and where we're at. If all is just right, which happens way too often for my comfort, i get really secluded and isolate myself. But its not really being shy its like i just dont want to be noticed while i take in my oponion of said new people, conversation or uncomfortable enviroment. Its like im trying to get my bearings.

[niffer]

Haha I always test to almost 100% on Extraversion, so I can only relate to this a little bit. I only really have these feelings when I'm a noob at something and everyone else is pro...yeah these are more just incompetence-related.

[Twixt]

i get really secluded and isolate myself. But its not really being shy its like i just dont want to be noticed while i take in my oponion of said new people, conversation or uncomfortable enviroment. Its like im trying to get my bearings.

That's me, all right. Because im taking in so much info from my surroundings, the people and the conversations and the ideas and everything, its like i have to sift through them all and think through them all before i can actually say anything. so i guess that makes me seem introverted and quiet. i need to get a feel of the situation before i add to it.

[jurma]

This thread is great. I've always had a hard time deciding if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. The ENFP descriptions always suited me spot on (while the I ones did not), that's the main reason I sticked with it, but I've always had that sort of social anxiety in some settings (mostly in environments where I don't really know many people intimately) and have needed time by myself regularly, to recharge. That ebb and flow theory of ENFPs energy is so perfectly right. I feel that all the time, I can't sustain my tremendous, legendary enthusiasm for large periods.