ENFP's and Social Anxiety/Shyness...

[Rachelinpa]

i relate 100%. ive said this on another thread (i forget how) but it is intuitive-in-a-sensor-environment-syndrome

Me too!

Also, I can't stand when I'm mellow and more to myself and people think something is wrong. . I don't like to play the "life of the party" role all the time. A co-worker told me "You have to be consistent, you can't be talkative one day and be quiet and to yourself the next...you confuse people!".

Me too!

[soleil]

Me too. It's so strong. It's like my spirit doesn't take their spirit.

Originally Posted by AwesomeCakes

I can relate. My E is slightly higher than my I. If the vibes aren't good I tend to leave the situation.

[VanillaCat]

Originally Posted by soleil

Also, I can't stand when I'm mellow and more to myself and people think something is wrong. . I don't like to play the "life of the party" role all the time. A co-worker told me "You have to be consistent, you can't be talkative one day and be quiet and to yourself the next...you confuse people!". WTH!

My mom says that to me all the time.

[Modern Nomad]

Originally Posted by soleil

It literally brings my spirit down. My extroversion/introversion is slightly higher than yours (60% Extroversion, 40% Introversion). It depends on where my mind is at, at times I think I'm 60% Introverted, lol. Positive energy is so important to me. It brings out the real me. Does that make sense?

Yeah, of course that totally makes sense.

I think it helps having people around who really know you, so you can be yourself when you meet new people too....

But yeah, when people's spirits bring me down... if they do it the wrong way, in a really bad way, i start getting restless and want to beat them up. lolz

sometimes i start thinking they're cracked out and not human. but really, they're sober. its weird!

[LadyJaye]

A lot of people don't understand that ENFP energy comes in arching patterns, like ebb and flow. Anyone who has a steady line of energy, say an ENTJ or an ESTJ, would say something like that to you. I've had more than a few people ask me if I was sick, or angry with them because I had been socializing and then eventually went into a low ebb. I can't sustain the energy.

I love being social with others and meeting new people, but without fail, I'll feel anticipation for the upcoming event, and it'll make me feel keyed up or a bit anxious. Even if I'm going to meet friends I've known all of my life. I can't seem to suppress the anticipation of the meeting. And it makes me physically uncomfortable - I always feel a hundred times better once we've already gotten to our event and have had time to start talking.

[IEE623]

auxiliary Fi is the answer for all those just-cant-seem-to-be-explained's

[soleil]

I often get ticked off! I think I could snap a few necks!!! I question people a lot. Are they for real? I get palpatiations all over, lol. I sometimes have to go for a walk or run some cold water, hehe. I think people are too insensitive, but lawd if you say something wrong to them they are quick to scream, shout, taking off their jewelry! Wooo.

Originally Posted by Modern Nomad

Yeah, of course that totally makes sense.

I think it helps having people around who really know you, so you can be yourself when you meet new people too....

But yeah, when people's spirits bring me down... if they do it the wrong way, in a really bad way, i start getting restless and want to beat them up. lolz

sometimes i start thinking they're cracked out and not human. but really, they're sober. its weird!

[kyuuei]

(and yes, I just ranted about this in my blog. >.o) I can have social anxiety. It isn't really due to my E or I side of myself, but through other influences in my life.. but I tend to end up with a 50/50 chance that I'll read one statement one way.. then entirely different the next. For example, you'll catch me doing this about half the time.:

Me: <ring ing.>
Person: Hello?
Me: Hey! Where are ya'll at?!
Person: So-and-so's playing rock band!
(INSERT CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOVEL HERE!)
Me on page 2: Rockin! I love that game, can I come?!
Person: Sure!

Me on page 3: (Hmm.. there was no invitation in that sentence! Maybe they don't want me to go?! Surely they would have said something..)
Person: Hello?
Me: (Well if I just say something that might be rude.. what if they didn't want me there? Are they trying to drop a hint? I'm terrible at guessing games!)
Person: Heeeelllloo?
Me: Oh! Yeah. Okay, that's cool.

Me on page 4: (Hmm. No invitation?) Oh! Well that's cool! Ya'll having fun?
Person: (usually) Yeah!
Me: (Still no invite!?) Well that rocks! That games pretty hard.
Person: I know it. Blahblahblah. You know you can just come over.
Me: Oh! right!

[soleil]

That is true for me too. If I have to meet up with people I've known for years, I get very overwhelmed. My mind wanders and I imagine how it'll be, visual the setting, etc. My brain starts overworking and I get anxious. I've cancelled meet-ups because of this.

On a side note...I was wondering if people put pressure on you to maintain a conversation? When I keep my answers brief, there is a long awkward silence. Then I have to keep it moving. Then they talk. I usually stay quiet on purpose just to see if they'll talk. Now, I just talk for them because I can't bear that moment of silence. At the end, they thank me for the great conversation and I think to myself "what conversation it was me doing all the talking and probing!!". I guess it has more to do with the fact I mostly know S's and people I don't have much in common with. I feel very disappointed. I want to engage in a conversation not do all the talking. I only met one ENFP who was a professor. He was amazing, very creative, and could talk about anything with anyone!

Originally Posted by LadyJaye

A lot of people don't understand that ENFP energy comes in arching patterns, like ebb and flow. Anyone who has a steady line of energy, say an ENTJ or an ESTJ, would say something like that to you. I've had more than a few people ask me if I was sick, or angry with them because I had been socializing and then eventually went into a low ebb. I can't sustain the energy.

I love being social with others and meeting new people, but without fail, I'll feel anticipation for the upcoming event, and it'll make me feel keyed up or a bit anxious. Even if I'm going to meet friends I've known all of my life. I can't seem to suppress the anticipation of the meeting. And it makes me physically uncomfortable - I always feel a hundred times better once we've already gotten to our event and have had time to start talking.

[soleil]

. That is so me! I have to be directly invited or else I feel like I'm not welcome. I don't know what it is, but I never tag along unless I am asked. You aren't alone on that one!

Originally Posted by kyuuei

(and yes, I just ranted about this in my blog. >.o) I can have social anxiety. It isn't really due to my E or I side of myself, but through other influences in my life.. but I tend to end up with a 50/50 chance that I'll read one statement one way.. then entirely different the next. For example, you'll catch me doing this about half the time.:

Me: <ring ing.>
Person: Hello?
Me: Hey! Where are ya'll at?!
Person: So-and-so's playing rock band!
(INSERT CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOVEL HERE!)
Me on page 2: Rockin! I love that game, can I come?!
Person: Sure!

Me on page 3: (Hmm.. there was no invitation in that sentence! Maybe they don't want me to go?! Surely they would have said something..)
Person: Hello?
Me: (Well if I just say something that might be rude.. what if they didn't want me there? Are they trying to drop a hint? I'm terrible at guessing games!)
Person: Heeeelllloo?
Me: Oh! Yeah. Okay, that's cool.

Me on page 4: (Hmm. No invitation?) Oh! Well that's cool! Ya'll having fun?
Person: (usually) Yeah!
Me: (Still no invite!?) Well that rocks! That games pretty hard.
Person: I know it. Blahblahblah. You know you can just come over.
Me: Oh! right!