Stressed-out INFPs -- how do you deal?

[hathor_sekhmet]

I feel I've been incredibly stressed-out lately. Family stuff, the uncertainty of life after grad school... it has just made me uneasy. So I retreat into myself and become irritable so easily... I feel like a flimsy, cranky shadow of myself. I know, however, that there must be some way of looking at things or something I can do to "strengthen" myself.

Other INFPs, what do you do when you are stressed out? How do you balance yourselves again?

[BerberElla]

I used to find it really easy to balance myself out again, I just used to take a few days to myself doing the things I enjoy. Reading, chilling with music, writing in my journal about how I was feeling or just writing anything in genera, or sitting in the park. Even having a good cry because things always seemed easier after the tears. As long as I was having some time to myself then it was easy to balance myself out again.

For the last few years I haven't been able to balance myself out properly, the stress remains, bottled up emotions that I refuse to let out because there are so many. Writing doesn't help, being alone is a constant so I don't need to withdraw, I'm there already. Music seems meh, I hate crying so I repress it as much as possible. I'm interested to read what other INFP's do when they get like that because I have no idea anymore.

[hathor_sekhmet]

Originally Posted by BerberElla

I used to find it really easy to balance myself out again, I just used to take a few days to myself doing the things I enjoy. Reading, chilling with music, writing in my journal about how I was feeling or just writing anything in genera, or sitting in the park. Even having a good cry because things always seemed easier after the tears. As long as I was having some time to myself then it was easy to balance myself out again.

For the last few years I haven't been able to balance myself out properly, the stress remains, bottled up emotions that I refuse to let out because there are so many. Writing doesn't help, being alone is a constant so I don't need to withdraw, I'm there already. Music seems meh, I hate crying so I repress it as much as possible. I'm interested to read what other INFP's do when they get like that because I have no idea anymore.

Yes, this is almost exactly what it's been like lately. It frustrates me -- there has to be a way out of it!

[nolla]

I think and think and think about the reasons for my feelings and if I can find the main reason, I eliminate it.

[file cabinet]

I try to preoccupy my time and mind with more external activities (friends or some sort of outdoor activity). or, ideally, figure out how I can directly/indirectly address the problem at hand. or, I remember reading once about how there are two types of choices you can make during some kind of crises, you can either panic or take what's life giving you as some kind of challenge. I try not to panic as much.

[jtanSis1]

Sometimes I have to let go and let things answer themselves, or at least clear my head.

[Anja]

I don't know how old you are BerberElla, but around 38 I started to have some difficulty calming myself also. Looking back I think a lot of it was hormonal.

You could have your doc check your estrogen level.

Nearly all my menopausal friends went through this and felt like hibernating for a number of years.

I have little trouble keeping laid back now but when I was younger and there were many demands on me I could be pretty unsettled at times. I think "time" is the key word. So busy takng care of many other people that there wasn't time to take care of myself.

Now I have plenty of time to play and do things I enjoy and it's a luxury to be able to tend to uncomfortable feelings by pampering myself.

Edit: It also helps to have someone to tell. Sometimes all I need to do with an unpleasant feeling is to announce it to someone else.

[BerberElla]

Originally Posted by Anja

I don't know how old you are BerberElla, but around 38 I started to have some difficulty calming myself also. Looking back I think a lot of it was hormonal.

You could have your doc check your estrogen level.

Nearly all my menopausal friends went through this and felt like hibernating for a number of years.

I have little trouble keeping laid back now but when I was younger and there were many demands on me I could be pretty unsettled at times. I think "time" is the key word. So busy takng care of many other people that there wasn't time to take care of myself.

Now I have plenty of time to play and do things I enjoy and it's a luxury to be able to tend to uncomfortable feelings by pampering myself.

I'm 32 in a few days. I guess it's worth asking the doctor, just hope this new one gives better advice than "Here's a magic anti D that will make you crazier than you were before heal you" lol

I think time is an issue for me too, being a single mum with 3 kids doesn't leave me much time to deal with me emotions or stress level in anyway that would actually be beneficial to me.

By the time the kids are packed off to bed and I get to take a moment, it's late and I still have stuff to do in preperation for the next day of parenting.

[Anja]

Mercy! No wonder.

The thirties are tough. So much to do; So driven to do more! Good times all the way around and a woman is at her peak. Just. no. time. to. enjoy. it!

[Anja]

Still thinking BerberElla.


I don't know where you live, but here I used to take my kids to the YWCA for a couple of hours some afternoons so I had a little free time for myself.

Edit: They had an inexpensive child care program in the afternoon hours just for this purpose. Very nice.