Uh oh ... depression!

[LavaLucy]

Sometimes I get frustrated too.. trying to be I guess someone ideal in my mind..obviously I can't pull it off and it's taken me a while to realise that I suppose. Sometimes I can't stop trying though for better or worse.

And I can DEFINITELY relate to wanting to be appreciated. When I'm upset/depressed already over something I usually can't help but wind back at the Nobody loves me stage however silly that might sound. Obviously a lot of people care, I wonder why it's just so hard to feel it! !!!!
I hope you feel better soon (go team)

[Peguy]

Originally Posted by takeheart

The old Idealized Self vs. Despised Self. Would you really be surprised to hear that my Enneagram type is 4? Existential crises and envy are a way of life for me. p

No, in fact that was one of my first impressions upon reading your posts. And I say this as a fellow Enneagram 4.

Yes, they can be a way of life for us - and that's why I usually say they represent perennial challenges. That is, we need to overcome those tendencies as much as possible, but with the realistic perspective they're never going to completely go away. That way, we don't have to beat ourselves up when we falter now and then.

It's not vanity. Trust me, I don't have even the tiniest bit of potential for vanity.

Well usually when people wish to be the center of attention, it's an issue of vanity. That's why I stated that.

The need for attention and external validation = trying to get the thing I've never had that seems to make everyone around me so happy.

Well of course, it's natural to desire external validation. Im sure this is especially true for you because you're an extrovert. But even as an Introvert with Fe, I often like to connect with others. So yes I sympathise.

[Neo Genesis]

Originally Posted by takeheart

NFs: What makes you sad? What makes you feel absolutely miserable? What could - or has - plunged you into depression?

Frustration with myself and those around me. You see, in my mind there is this ideal of who I aim to be, and whenever I can't act accordingly, it seems to trigger a deep, melancholy feeling within me. Honestly, I set a very high bar for myself. With other people, its more a sadness that most only care about trivial goals, i.e. getting drunk this weekend, or hooking up with a different girl each night. That also depresses me a bit.

Originally Posted by Peguy

Well this seems to be a classic case of Despair to be oneself. That is you try so hard to be the person you want to be, but feel depressed when you realize you're not really that person. One of the great keys in life is to be the person you really are, not the person you want to be.

Damn this sounds like me. Too stubborn to quit, though.

[Dwigie]

Originally Posted by Neo Genesis

Frustration with myself and those around me. You see, in my mind there is this ideal of who I aim to be, and whenever I can't act accordingly, it seems to trigger a deep, melancholy feeling within me. Honestly, I set a very high bar for myself. With other people, its more a sadness that most only care about trivial goals, i.e. getting drunk this weekend, or hooking up with a different girl each night. That also depresses me a bit.



Damn this sounds like me. Too stubborn to quit, though.

same here my friend, same here

[Lalaru]

Thinking about the universe makes me feel depressed. I feel worthless and that everything I do is pointless ( well, it is. :\). What's the point? I ask myself that question everyday. What is the point? If only there was a pill that could cure me of that question. I just feel so detached from people and society sometimes. I always ask myself those questions people tell me have no answers. People make me sad sometimes, but I am closed off from most of them so I don't really have to bother with that set of trivialities. :P

[Neo Genesis]

Originally Posted by Lalaru

Thinking about the universe makes me feel depressed. I feel worthless and that everything I do is pointless ( well, it is. :\). What's the point? I ask myself that question everyday. What is the point? If only there was a pill that could cure me of that question. I just feel so detached from people and society sometimes. I always ask myself those questions people tell me have no answers. People make me sad sometimes, but I am closed off from most of them so I don't really have to bother with that set of trivialities. :P

You'd lose so much more than just that question. I've been through that phase. Even if all of our actions are pointless, it doesn't change the fact that our choices impact the lives of everyone around us. To me, these connections are the meaning of life. So, even though I disagree with the morals of many of my peers, I'm still determined to forge relationships with those people.

[GZA]

Originally Posted by disregard

A lack of regular meaningful accomplishment can send me into a downward spiral.

Me too. The old saying that keeping busy is the key to happiness is absolutely true. If I can't have something I'm dedicated too, that I work hard on, and that I accomplish things with, I will feel like crap. It's an addiction, it's as much part of my mental sanity as anything. For me it's music, and if I can't think about music and try to make something on a daily basis I'll start to get stressed out and I'll even get headaches sometimes. I honestly can't imagine how fucked I'd be if I didn't have hobbies that I am always passionate about. I think thats a good place to start, finding soemthing that can occupy you're thoughts, where you can learn, that no one can take away from you.

Even if our universal, cosmic existence is insignificant and meaningless, doesn't mean we can't feel happy and kick some ass while we're still here.

But I'm slightly younger then you so maybe I'll hit a brick wall...

[placebo]

When I feel 'stuck' in a situation I can't handle, and I become frustrated and depressed. When I feel far from what I want and what I think I'd be comfortable with. I think that's basically it. Also when I feel really really tired or in some sort of pain, but I think that is sort of all tied in with each other.