ENFP Anti Weakness

Rachelinpa · 09-22-2008, 03:00 PM

Ok, I'm not sure what I'm asking here, so you can answer how you want.

Basically, I've noticed that I (female ENFP) get annoyed with guys (not so much girls) that are weak. Like, it almost embarasses me on their behalf. You know, I want them to be sensitive, but I don't want them to be too sensitive. I want them to be able to take care of themselves and not get all dependent and gushy at me.

I think it is "weakness" that bugs me, but I'm not sure.

For example, my guy friend (ISFP) calls me from the road on his way to visit me this weekend. It's like a 3 hour trip and he's been to my house before, but for whatever reason he got lost. He (almost fearfully) says to me, "Don't you have a map or something? I think you're going to need to mapquest this for me."

Now, I can't place my own emotion, but for some reason this rubs me the wrong way. I'm not annoyed that he's asking for help (because ordinarily I love helping people), but kind of! I'm annoyed, but I can't figure out why. It's a perfectly reasonable request, but I feel like, ok dude, what do you really want me to do here? Figure it out yourself. Don't be such a baby. Ugh.

Thoughts?

Jack Flak · 09-22-2008, 03:09 PM

I have noticed that women want men to be "men," regardless of type.

Rachelinpa · 09-22-2008, 03:15 PM

Yeah, but why?

ajblaise · 09-22-2008, 03:16 PM

I think some girls prefer weaker guys because they like to be the ones in control. Maybe some ENTJ girls are like this.

Rachelinpa · 09-22-2008, 03:20 PM

Weaker guys are usually nicer guys, I find. But, I just get so annoyed with the weakness that it trumps how nice they are! To me, it seems to go along with why nice guys finish last. It's not just that they're nice, it's that they're weak!

Jack Flak · 09-22-2008, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

Yeah, but why?

Let me know when you find out, also the meaning of life.

phoenix13 · 09-22-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachelinpa

Ok, I'm not sure what I'm asking here, so you can answer how you want.

Basically, I've noticed that I (female ENFP) get annoyed with guys (not so much girls) that are weak. Like, it almost embarasses me on their behalf. You know, I want them to be sensitive, but I don't want them to be too sensitive. I want them to be able to take care of themselves and not get all dependent and gushy at me.

I think it is "weakness" that bugs me, but I'm not sure.

For example, my guy friend (ISFP) calls me from the road on his way to visit me this weekend. It's like a 3 hour trip and he's been to my house before, but for whatever reason he got lost. He (almost fearfully) says to me, "Don't you have a map or something? I think you're going to need to mapquest this for me."

Now, I can't place my own emotion, but for some reason this rubs me the wrong way. I'm not annoyed that he's asking for help (because ordinarily I love helping people), but kind of! I'm annoyed, but I can't figure out why. It's a perfectly reasonable request, but I feel like, ok dude, what do you really want me to do here? Figure it out yourself. Don't be such a baby. Ugh.

Thoughts?

I have no clue why that rubbed you the wrong way... he needed directions. How is that weak? How the hell is he supposed to "figure it out" without a friggin' map? Is it that men aren't supposed to ask for directions? That's bull.

I understand you not wanting people to be dependent on you, or not self-sufficient... but the "embarassment on their behalf" is something I don't experience.

Concerning the "gushy" part... I LOVE men who are expressive. I love it and admire it. It shows a detachment from social norms that takes confidence and self-acceptance.

To sum it up, it sounds like (I'm not positive here) your reaction is a combination of your hatred for dependence and imprinting of what is and isn't acceptable for a man to do. The former is cool. The later isn't IMO.

ajblaise · 09-22-2008, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix13

I have no clue why that rubbed you the wrong way... he needed directions. How is that weak? How the hell is he supposed to "figure it out" without a friggin' map? Is it that men aren't supposed to ask for directions? That's bull.

I think she was turned off by that fact the he she said he sounded like a bitch about being lost, not just the fact that he got lost and needed directions.

Rachelinpa · 09-22-2008, 03:56 PM

Right?! I know! It was completely unreasonable for me to feel so invaded and irritated with giving him directions, but... I was. Maybe it was how he asked for it. I'm not sure.

Interesting though. Yeah, I think it's mostly the dependence factor. I only gave you a small glimpse of how he is, so my issue is probably more contextual than explained. Hm.

Sytpg · 09-22-2008, 03:58 PM

You're weird :p

09-22-2008, 03:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
Rachelinpa Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: ENFP Posts: 609	ENFP Anti Weakness Ok, I'm not sure what I'm asking here, so you can answer how you want. Basically, I've noticed that I (female ENFP) get annoyed with guys (not so much girls) that are weak. Like, it almost embarasses me on their behalf. You know, I want them to be sensitive, but I don't want them to be too sensitive. I want them to be able to take care of themselves and not get all dependent and gushy at me. I think it is "weakness" that bugs me, but I'm not sure. For example, my guy friend (ISFP) calls me from the road on his way to visit me this weekend. It's like a 3 hour trip and he's been to my house before, but for whatever reason he got lost. He (almost fearfully) says to me, "Don't you have a map or something? I think you're going to need to mapquest this for me." Now, I can't place my own emotion, but for some reason this rubs me the wrong way. I'm not annoyed that he's asking for help (because ordinarily I love helping people), but kind of! I'm annoyed, but I can't figure out why. It's a perfectly reasonable request, but I feel like, ok dude, what do you really want me to do here? Figure it out yourself. Don't be such a baby. Ugh. Thoughts?

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09-22-2008, 03:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jack Flak Banned Join Date: Jul 2008 Type: INTP Location: The Everlasting Sky Posts: 9,359	I have noticed that women want men to be "men," regardless of type.

09-22-2008, 03:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
Rachelinpa Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: ENFP Posts: 609	Yeah, but why?

09-22-2008, 03:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
ajblaise Stealing your stem cells Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: INTP Location: New York Posts: 4,360	I think some girls prefer weaker guys because they like to be the ones in control. Maybe some ENTJ girls are like this.

09-22-2008, 03:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
Rachelinpa Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: ENFP Posts: 609	Weaker guys are usually nicer guys, I find. But, I just get so annoyed with the weakness that it trumps how nice they are! To me, it seems to go along with why nice guys finish last. It's not just that they're nice, it's that they're weak!

09-22-2008, 03:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
Rachelinpa Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: ENFP Posts: 609	Right?! I know! It was completely unreasonable for me to feel so invaded and irritated with giving him directions, but... I was. Maybe it was how he asked for it. I'm not sure. Interesting though. Yeah, I think it's mostly the dependence factor. I only gave you a small glimpse of how he is, so my issue is probably more contextual than explained. Hm.

09-22-2008, 03:58 PM	#10 (permalink)
Sytpg No added sugar Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: DULL Location: Mongolian steppes Posts: 2,500	You're weird :p