INFJs fall in love fast?

polkadotstars · 09-19-2008, 01:46 AM

Do INFJs fall in love fast? or at least get wrapped up into feelings fast?

tenINsFJ · 09-19-2008, 02:14 AM

Crush really easy. Fall out of crush easy. Love.. continuous search. A very slow and analytical approach.

Jen · 09-19-2008, 02:23 AM

People are people so any type is capable of "falling in love fast". If the chemistry is there, it can happen.

karenk · 09-19-2008, 02:56 AM

The rare times it's happened- it's happend FAST. I'd prefer not to be like that.

Eileen · 09-19-2008, 03:03 AM

I wouldn't say that I fall in love quickly. I am pretty judicious about the L word. I do get all limerent and crushy pretty quickly, though.

Desperado44 · 09-19-2008, 03:17 AM

Its by far my biggest weakness in relationships.

I border on an "E" and an "I"....so I wanted to comment.

When I fall....I fall really hard.

edcoaching · 09-19-2008, 09:28 AM

I can only speak from the two INFJ love stories I know well and there were two characteristics. First, neither of us dated anyone for long unless we could see potential for marriage . Waste of time to keep going out since there were plenty of friends of both genders to hang around with, so crushes, even gooey ones, were over fast. Second, when that magic person appeared we knew it and were engaged really fast. Both of us have been married for decades so...

sanveane · 09-19-2008, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Loving

For INFJs, 'still waters run deep.' They tend to become attracted to someone special and prefer this one deep relationship over many superficial ones. The depth of involvement and feeling that the INFJ has toward loved ones is only partially communicated outward. At times, when alone, INFJs become truly in touch with the depth of the love they have for their partner. They may not openly demonstrate or even verbalize their intense feelings. INFJs often have an ideal standard of what love is. They hold to their ideal and are disappointed when, inevitably, their relationship and/or mate reveals flaws. INFJs enjoy sharing activities like a regular 'date,' revisiting the place where they first met their mates, or doing other symbolic things that help to continue and confirm the existence of the bond that they feel for their partner.

INFJs want to give love and to be loved. They enter into relationships just to be cared for, even when the person is not right for them and they suspect it. However, when they meet that special person, they are quick to get into the relationship and make it a serious one. They will end their other relationships in order to pursue their loved one. They become very focused, intense, and direct in that pursuit.

INFJs, when scorned, take it personally and retreat inward. They may obsess about the relationship and their role in its failure. One INFJ explained, 'people can do the most outrageous things, yet I blame myself for triggering their behavior or not recognizing it. I see myself as responsible for relationships. Other people can dismiss them --- I'm not able to.' INFJs may blame themselves and experience a period of mourning. If they do not marshall their resources, externalized their feelings, and take risks to move on, they may experience a long periods of self-examination.

(From INFJ - The Mystic)

Can't speak for anyone else but this is probably the best description I've found... though finding it has changed me. I don't get into relationships just for closeness though I did once. You only have to do it once to realize how awful it is. And careful about getting involved quickly even when I know that the other person is 'right' for me. Heehee, afterall sometimes it takes the other types a little while to catch up

... I do think INFJs can be very direct in pursuit though. And emboldened in love even when it's scary to put themselves out there.

Uytuun · 09-19-2008, 11:25 AM

A good description indeed.

Quote:

They enter into relationships just to be cared for

I've seen this happen and I find it particularly scary.

sanveane · 09-19-2008, 11:45 AM

^Yes, as have I. It doesn't happen because of being a random, bleeding heart though. (I think?) I think it can happen because an INFJ will have an idealized standard and not a lot of people measure up, whether the INFJ realizes it or not. (They are kind of a victim of it too). So, before you've met someone who is 'right', you may begin a relationship with someone who is near enough. Someone you *think* you should like. Always a mistake. That's the nearest I can figure...

09-19-2008, 01:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
polkadotstars Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Type: infj Posts: 7	INFJs fall in love fast? Do INFJs fall in love fast? or at least get wrapped up into feelings fast?

09-19-2008, 02:23 AM	#3 (permalink)
Jen cooling Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: infj Posts: 4,756	People are people so any type is capable of "falling in love fast". If the chemistry is there, it can happen. __________________ SLOAN RLOAI R(56%)L(58%)O(58%)A(54%)I(58%) "I was born with all the holes in my body I need already...don't give me more!" ~ Creator of Not Being Stabbed Repeatedly. The former eats babies and calls it nutritious. The latter eats souls and calls it judicious. ~iwakar on the differences between INTJ and INFJ.

09-19-2008, 03:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
Eileen Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: INFJ Location: an awesome bubble Posts: 1,963	I wouldn't say that I fall in love quickly. I am pretty judicious about the L word. I do get all limerent and crushy pretty quickly, though. __________________ INFJ - 4w5 sx "Individual responsibility and mutual responsibility: that's the essence of America's promise." -- Barack Obama

09-19-2008, 03:17 AM	#6 (permalink)
Desperado44 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: ENFJ Location: The End Zone Posts: 421	Its by far my biggest weakness in relationships. I border on an "E" and an "I"....so I wanted to comment. When I fall....I fall really hard. __________________ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

09-19-2008, 09:28 AM	#7 (permalink)
edcoaching Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: INFJ Location: MN Posts: 627	I can only speak from the two INFJ love stories I know well and there were two characteristics. First, neither of us dated anyone for long unless we could see potential for marriage . Waste of time to keep going out since there were plenty of friends of both genders to hang around with, so crushes, even gooey ones, were over fast. Second, when that magic person appeared we knew it and were engaged really fast. Both of us have been married for decades so... __________________ edcoaching

09-19-2008, 02:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
tenINsFJ Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Type: INFJ Location: Somewhere in the US Posts: 436	Crush really easy. Fall out of crush easy. Love.. continuous search. A very slow and analytical approach.

09-19-2008, 02:56 AM	#4 (permalink)
karenk Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Type: INFJ Location: East Bay Posts: 151	The rare times it's happened- it's happend FAST. I'd prefer not to be like that.

09-19-2008, 11:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
sanveane Internal Wrangler Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: INFJ Location: USA Posts: 1,109	^Yes, as have I. It doesn't happen because of being a random, bleeding heart though. (I think?) I think it can happen because an INFJ will have an idealized standard and not a lot of people measure up, whether the INFJ realizes it or not. (They are kind of a victim of it too). So, before you've met someone who is 'right', you may begin a relationship with someone who is near enough. Someone you think you should like. Always a mistake. That's the nearest I can figure...

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