NF(P): too-much expectations, yet little work?

[niki]

hey NF folks (or perhaps, more specifically, "NFP" folks )
do you often find yourself so immersed in too-many expectations (often unrealistic ones too!), and too-much imagining how's the END results would be, yet, you only do a very little REAL-work (the "Do" part).
in other words: you contemplate a lot, even WAY too much (even other people criticize you often because of this!) , with little to almost NO real-work being done?

and does this frustrate you?
I mean, i admit that I've done this a lot of times (ie: too much imagining the end-results without any real actions first!) , and it's kinda disturbing.
first, because often it's just a 'romantic' useless head-talkings, but the REAL results or outcomes often is not what i've been imagining a lot!
second, because I didn't do much real-actions. and instead only immersed myself in too-much 'unnecessary' thoughts , which leads to nothing in the end!

raise your hands if you can relate with me.
and what is your solution for handling this 'bad' behavior ?

[runvardh]

Used to be the first one, but these days I prefer to make the good stuff manifest - it's more enjoyable that way.

[Leysing]

I have to admit...

[phoenix13]

yes *buries head in shame*
I think it's another form of procrastination...

[Martian Manifesto]

Originally Posted by niki

hey NF folks (or perhaps, more specifically, "NFP" folks )
do you often find yourself so immersed in too-many expectations (often unrealistic ones too!), and too-much imagining how's the END results would be, yet, you only do a very little REAL-work (the "Do" part).
in other words: you contemplate a lot, even WAY too much (even other people criticize you often because of this!) , with little to almost NO real-work being done?

and does this frustrate you?
I mean, i admit that I've done this a lot of times (ie: too much imagining the end-results without any real actions first!) , and it's kinda disturbing.
first, because often it's just a 'romantic' useless head-talkings, but the REAL results or outcomes often is not what i've been imagining a lot!
second, because I didn't do much real-actions. and instead only immersed myself in too-much 'unnecessary' thoughts , which leads to nothing in the end!

raise your hands if you can relate with me.
and what is your solution for handling this 'bad' behavior ?

Get some J friends who understand you? If you say stuff to them they have a habit of asking what the status is and really want to know. This can be a good motivator. Your P would be good for them also. You can of course become a more mature INFP, but I don't think a even a very mature INFP ever stops doing this completely. If this thread was meant for Ps only, I apologize in advance.

My girlfriend of six years is an INFP and she says I have enough J for three people I think she has enough P for three people. Between the two of use we have enough J and P, plus some!

[Awesomecakes]

Originally Posted by niki

hey NF folks (or perhaps, more specifically, "NFP" folks )
do you often find yourself so immersed in too-many expectations (often unrealistic ones too!), and too-much imagining how's the END results would be, yet, you only do a very little REAL-work (the "Do" part).
in other words: you contemplate a lot, even WAY too much (even other people criticize you often because of this!) , with little to almost NO real-work being done?

and does this frustrate you?
I mean, i admit that I've done this a lot of times (ie: too much imagining the end-results without any real actions first!) , and it's kinda disturbing.
first, because often it's just a 'romantic' useless head-talkings, but the REAL results or outcomes often is not what i've been imagining a lot!
second, because I didn't do much real-actions. and instead only immersed myself in too-much 'unnecessary' thoughts , which leads to nothing in the end!

raise your hands if you can relate with me.
and what is your solution for handling this 'bad' behavior ?

I feel your pain. I often get excited at the start up phase of anything new, and more ideas bubble than I know what to do with. As you said, "too-much 'unnecessary' thought" There are just so many possibilities it's hard to decide on a *swallows* "final" way of approaching a project. :/

What I found helps me with this is to look at the big picture. Think about who would appreciate what I am trying to accomplish. I get off on praise :P as I think most NFPs do.

As for the indecisiveness I try not spend so much time daydreaming about the possibilities and put my imagination into action as I go along. It's a bit impulsive, and you will go over everything that you are doing over and over again until you are satisfied. (I think we all do this to a degree.) Everything seems to come together in the end, and I am rarely disappointed with the results.

One more thing. I think you really have to want to change this habit, or you didn't really give a good god damn in the first place. Otherwise, it's just a minor annoyance at the time it happens. As the saying goes, "quit your bitchin if you're not gonna do anything about it!" I tell myself that all the time. Heh. Maybe a verbal bashing of the self ain't so bad once in awhile.

[GZA]

I'm the obly one who said no?

Either I no longer expect things, or I only commit to expecting things when I know I can do them.

[phoenix13]

Originally Posted by GZA

I'm the obly one who said no?

Either I no longer expect things, or I only commit to expecting things when I know I can do them.

I can't resist a quote:

"How can I have expectations?! ... I do not hope for what I cannot have! I do not cling to things I cannot keep! The more you cling to things, the more you love them, the more the pain you suffer when they're taken from you. Ah, but, if you have no expectations, Captain, you can never have a disappointment." -Fosca (from Sondheim's musical: Passion)

[MrRandom]

I consider myself a really hard-working individual. I have to admit I sometimes even "criticize" my friends for not doing anything about their dreams and goals. They speak what they'd like to do and learn, but nobody (but me) actually does anything about their desires. To me it's very frustrating to watch, because I'd like to help... it's easy: just do it! I have come to understand that it doesn't really help.

Yeah, I'm a J. It makes sense. However, I'm still constantly frustrated. Even as a diligent and energetic worker I still don't have enough time to do it all. I'm constantly stressed out and depressed for not getting enough work done, although I already work more than many people put together (on my spare time, that is). I demand way too much from myself. And getting depressed about it actually lowers my energy and will to work, which gets me even more depressed for getting even less done. It's not really easy this way either. I have some bad days and some good days. My mood swings accordingly. I'll just try to cope with it. But hey, my work is fun (visual art and music). It's something I enjoy, so it's not like I'm the workaholic type.

[Awesomecakes]

Originally Posted by phoenix13

"How can I have expectations?! ... I do not hope for what I cannot have! I do not cling to things I cannot keep! The more you cling to things, the more you love them, the more the pain you suffer when they're taken from you. Ah, but, if you have no expectations, Captain, you can never have a disappointment." -Fosca (from Sondheim's musical: Passion)

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