Are xNFJ's really as nice/caring as they appear?

[Angry Ayrab]

This is a serious thread.

I know a few ENFJ's and maybe one or two INFJ's and these people are seriously too nice to be true. They really do go out of their way to make sure everyone is happy. Are they really as nice inside as they are outside? This is a serious inquiry. Also, what is your reasoning from a practical or theoretical perspective?

And to all the xNFJ's don't be shy, whats your perspective.

[Haight]

INFJs are evil. Ask edcoaching, she'll tell you all about it.

[Angry Ayrab]

Originally Posted by Haight

INFJs are evil. Ask edcoaching, she'll tell you all about it.

Let's here it from you. or call her to drop by.

[Usehername]

I'm pretty sure they're trapped between being genuinely sincerely caring and being that necessary-for-survival amount of self-absorbed and selfish. And the fact that they're soo good interpersonally makes for it to seem that they care more about random people than they do, and sometimes that makes them feel guilty.

/speaking for other people.

[PinkPiranha]

Originally Posted by Usehername

I'm pretty sure they're trapped between being genuinely sincerely caring and being that necessary-for-survival amount of self-absorbed and selfish. And the fact that they're soo good interpersonally makes for it to seem that they care more about random people than they do, and sometimes that makes them feel guilty.

/speaking for other people.

That's not a half bad description at all.

I'm an equal mix of wanting to save people and throw myself on the sword sacrificially, and REALLY not wanting to care about another person as long as I live. I usually get that way when I'm exhausted. I don't get a choice about whether I care or not about people, which frequently makes me feel hijacked, and thus, surly and hard to manage. My ENFP twin, to me, by far, is the more truly "nice" person of the pair, and I try to under-react to things like she does.

But, having said that, yes, there's an inner Napoleon that's always pushing to get loose. I laugh when I watch "the Fifth Element" because that wacky zany Zorg guy! What a kidder! hahaha, no really. Very enfj. Dood. Not flattering.

[Silently Honest]

No one is as caring as I 'appear'.

[PinkPiranha]

Originally Posted by Silently Honest

No one is as caring as I 'appear'.

This is true. You do appear a lot. It's kind of uncanny.

[Usehername]

Originally Posted by PinkPiranha

This is true. You do appear a lot. It's kind of uncanny.

I want SH's magic appearing skills. I want everyone's skills. :pout:

(and on that note, we need a :pout: smilie)

[nolla]

Originally Posted by Usehername

I'm pretty sure they're trapped between being genuinely sincerely caring and being that necessary-for-survival amount of self-absorbed and selfish. And the fact that they're soo good interpersonally makes for it to seem that they care more about random people than they do, and sometimes that makes them feel guilty.

/speaking for other people.

This is well said. The only INFJ I know is my mom. She is super friendly and caring for others and has like a thousand friends, but wished she could get away to Lapland or some deserted island to not have to deal with their troubles. I tell her to shut off the phone (or ignore it) and the people will disappear, but for some reason she doesn't. I guess the INFJs need a lot of people around them and are exhausted by them.

[Sunshine]

Originally Posted by Angry Ayrab

This is a serious thread.

I know a few ENFJ's and maybe one or two INFJ's and these people are seriously too nice to be true. They really do go out of their way to make sure everyone is happy. Are they really as nice inside as they are outside? This is a serious inquiry. Also, what is your reasoning from a practical or theoretical perspective?

And to all the xNFJ's don't be shy, whats your perspective.

Yeah. I'm sure a lot are. My INFJ mom is amazing in that regard.

I do know one ENFJ that was totally fake though. Underneath her niceness she was really uncaring and manipulative. I know an other ENFJ who wasn't fake like that though.