Question to the ENFP's

[Maabus1999]

Ok, I know a female ENFP who I got a long with well enough. However, I don't live near her and we decided just to write back and forth. So at one point I asked her if she was looking to talk to me on a more personal nature or just stay in touch. Her response, besides a bunch of other sections bouncing all over the place(which ended with yes, let's talk), was to write 2 pages of her journal to me since she wasn't at home and it would give me a chance to know what/how she think and to get some inner insight.

Now I have my own thoughts on this, my INTJ thoughts:, but what do the female ENFPs think of her actions here? I enjoy ENFP personalities but am also a little leery at times, as this sorta surprised me. Have to stay on guard!

[Babylon Candle]

why does her journal make you leery? why does it make you want to be on guard?

[Modern Nomad]

i mean, she is sharing some personal stuff with you.

u can tell her about your personal stuff too. help her out in anything u see in what she wrote too...

[arcticangel02]

Yeah, the fact that she's opening up and sharing something deeply personal to her (what's more personal than her journal?) is a pretty good sign for you.

Even though we're outgoing and stuff, we can be quite private people, too. She clearly likes and trusts you a great deal.

[PinkPiranha]

She's trying to let you in. My ENFP twin is like Angel said. Open but weirdly private.

[Rachelinpa]

That sounds like something I would have done in the past. It's offering insight into her private life without having to do the work of explaining it herself. It's kind of like reading a book before discussing it in class. You do your homework on me and then we can discuss it later. I don't want you to have to start at Square One, so come prepared to know me!

[Maabus1999]

Originally Posted by Babylon Candle

why does her journal make you leery? why does it make you want to be on guard?

Maybe I misrepresented what I was saying. Just ENFPs sometimes catch me by surprise when they do something I wasn't expecting in comparison to experience with other personality types. It is a pro you all have. The on guard is more of "whoa, let me think a second" before I respond. It just reminded me of an intuitive duel I guess *shrug*.

Originally Posted by Modern Nomad

i mean, she is sharing some personal stuff with you.

u can tell her about your personal stuff too. help her out in anything u see in what she wrote too...

Agreed but it definitely takes times with INTJs to let folks in fully. Heck, my mother always hated I always kept my feelings inside for a long time. Of course I am a mid adult now so I talk a bit more openly then I did as a child. Anyways, usually I unravel one layer at a time as I consider my personality to be complex. I wonder how ENFPs deal with people that will hold back and go slow.

Originally Posted by arcticangel02

Yeah, the fact that she's opening up and sharing something deeply personal to her (what's more personal than her journal?) is a pretty good sign for you.

Even though we're outgoing and stuff, we can be quite private people, too. She clearly likes and trusts you a great deal.

That is what I felt about the trust, but again as mentioned above, it surprised me just in the speed of trust. It is counter to my personality, though I consider myself to be very friendly and polite.

I guess my original post should be more of a question do ENFP's commonly share more personal thoughts quickly with somebody then other types, or less frequently?

[LadyJaye]

Originally Posted by Maabus1999

Agreed but it definitely takes times with INTJs to let folks in fully. Heck, my mother always hated I always kept my feelings inside for a long time. Of course I am a mid adult now so I talk a bit more openly then I did as a child. Anyways, usually I unravel one layer at a time as I consider my personality to be complex. I wonder how ENFPs deal with people that will hold back and go slow.

I can only speak for myself, but I appreciate someone who can pace themselves. I tend to feel overwhelmed by people who just blather a bunch of personal things at me - it makes me feel like there's a rush. As if this guy isn't planning on being around for very long, doesn't have the juice for the long haul. Does that make sense? I mean, even my friendships are long term.

I guess my original post should be more of a question do ENFP's commonly share more personal thoughts quickly with somebody then other types, or less frequently?

There are many feelings and situations that I can relate easily to, when talking to others. That may make it seem as if I'm willing to share my deeply personal thoughts with practically anyone. But, really, that's just to make the other person feel understood, to keep communication flowing, to help them feel at ease. I relate enough for them to feel safe. But the things that are deeply personal to me, I only share with those I feel comfortable with, because for me, it's super difficult to talk about myself. I think perhaps she just feels safe with you. Allowing you to see her journal is a big deal, in my estimation. Now, is this freaking you out, like it seems like a lack of boundaries?

[Kanamori]

It's like someone jumping on top of you when you were having a calm conversation 5 seconds before.

[Maabus1999]

Originally Posted by LadyJaye

There are many feelings and situations that I can relate easily to, when talking to others. That may make it seem as if I'm willing to share my deeply personal thoughts with practically anyone. But, really, that's just to make the other person feel understood, to keep communication flowing, to help them feel at ease. I relate enough for them to feel safe. But the things that are deeply personal to me, I only share with those I feel comfortable with, because for me, it's super difficult to talk about myself. I think perhaps she just feels safe with you. Allowing you to see her journal is a big deal, in my estimation. Now, is this freaking you out, like it seems like a lack of boundaries?

This has been my thinking, on the positive side of my thinking, and the experience I have with ENFP's. Boundary wise, I'm pretty laid back just very "cool". What I am sorta concerned about is the times she was hanging out with me in a normal environment, she acted very non-ENFP like at times(especially compared to pictures I was shown of her having fun). She would still get excited and crazy but became very reserved when I came by at times; heck, even at times I swear I had more energy flowing out then she did. Most of the time when I get that feeling from folks it means I'm bugging them somehow, though my intuitive side said something was up.

So from above, that behavior just has me in an analyzing mode now because from the journal to her actions just seemingly off from normal ENFP behavior(and I could be very wrong here too). Yes she may like me (and a reason I asked first about if she was looking to talk personally) but still perplexing being I live a great distance away.