How do you get along with the SJs?

[nolla]

I find it very hard to have any kind of meaningful relationship of any kind with SJs. I can joke with them usually, or talk about some stuff I am not interested in (like sports), but that's about it. I never make friends with SJs but I have some in the family so I would like to know how to deal with them or help them when they need it. It seems impossible to tell them to take care of themselves while they go on about "Duty, work, money, responsibility" and so on...

[proteanmix]

Life must really suck for you. I'll give this thread one star so you can feel better!

Anyways, it's always funny to me when people say The __________

The blacks
The Hispanics
The gays

OK, so I'll look it up.

1. (used, esp. before a noun, with a specifying or particularizing effect, as opposed to the indefinite or generalizing force of the indefinite article a or an): the book you gave me; Come into the house.
2. (used to mark a proper noun, natural phenomenon, ship, building, time, point of the compass, branch of endeavor, or field of study as something well-known or unique): the sun; the Alps; the Queen Elizabeth; the past; the West.
3. (used with or as part of a title): the Duke of Wellington; the Reverend John Smith.
4. (used to mark a noun as indicating the best-known, most approved, most important, most satisfying, etc.): the skiing center of the U.S.; If you're going to work hard, now is the time.
5. (used to mark a noun as being used generically): The dog is a quadruped. I don't know why this strikes me as funny
6. (used in place of a possessive pronoun, to note a part of the body or a personal belonging): He won't be able to play football until the leg mends.
7. (used before adjectives that are used substantively, to note an individual, a class or number of individuals, or an abstract idea): to visit the sick; from the sublime to the ridiculous.
8. (used before a modifying adjective to specify or limit its modifying effect): He took the wrong road and drove miles out of his way.
9. (used to indicate one particular decade of a lifetime or of a century): the sixties; the gay nineties.
10. (one of many of a class or type, as of a manufactured item, as opposed to an individual one): Did you listen to the radio last night?
11. enough: He saved until he had the money for a new car. She didn't have the courage to leave.
12. (used distributively, to note any one separately) for, to, or in each; a or an: at one dollar the pound.

I didn't do so great in grammar so which one of these would the SJs fall under?

[Jennifer]

PM for teh win!





... SJs are people. Just like everyone else. The specifics of how to relate to them depend on the specifics of who they are.

But if you sense someone regardless of type values responsibility and has a strong work ethic, doesn't it make sense to accommodate that?

I've found that people who work hard can also be alot of fun, once the time for work has passed. You just have to get your work done before distracting yourself and them with too much play.

[nozflubber]

That there "the SJ" just took a dump in your thread, son. I didn't know protean had it in her!

[Lookin4theBestNU]

Hi Nolla! Welcome to the forums. Sensing Judgers often have a way of getting under my skin if they are attempting to "correct me" which seems to happen more often then I would like! I personally get along with most of them fine though admittedly the extroverted ones take an extra bit of patience . I grew up in a family of SJs and eventually rebelled. I have now come to not only respect but enjoy SJs! My best friend is an ISTJ and rarely have I ever made such a strong connection with a person. I use mbti/typing people more as a way to understand where someone is coming from. SJs (like any type certainly including the ENFJs ) can bother others of a different make. I generally find that even if I disagree with their value system it's sturdy which to me is commendable! I hope you find some SJs you respect, accept and can learn from like I did. Once again welcome!

[Haphazard]

I can definitely respect SJs but I don't usually get along with them in close quarters.

I do agree that it's very difficult to get an SJ to take care of themselves -- as in, they need time for themselves, to do things for themselves sometimes, but they won't. And it's impossible to convince them that they need this, too.

[arcticangel02]

Personally, some of my closest friends are ISTJs and ESFJs. They're great, reliable people who really help bring me back down to earth and help me be a bit sensible. :P

And they're really loyal and helpful, so I always know I can depend on them when I need to.

[nolla]

Originally Posted by proteanmix

Life must really suck for you. I'll give this thread one star so you can feel better!

Anyways, it's always funny to me when people say The __________

The blacks
The Hispanics
The gays

Oh, come on. Now I'm a Hitler for saying that I do not know how to get along with a certain type of people...? I am maybe the least prejudiced person in the world. I just find it useful to use the type as a group of characters to "define" people in a conversation. Yes, I know it is a stereotype, but hey, the mbti was made to put people in different boxes. I was not saying that SJs are bad in any way, I was saying that me being NF makes it difficult for me to understand them. Sure, I used a bit provocative style, but I did only mean that from my subjective point of view the SJs seem like this. They would say the opposite claims about me. "Lazy, irresponsible, bum..." so on. I see no problem to use the types as stereotypes this way.

Originally Posted by Lookin4theBestNU

I generally find that even if I disagree with their value system it's sturdy which to me is commendable!

Well, for me the value clashes end up me walking away angry because I can't get my point across. Is it true that their values never change?

Originally Posted by arcticangel02

Personally, some of my closest friends are ISTJs and ESFJs. They're great, reliable people who really help bring me back down to earth and help me be a bit sensible. :P

And they're really loyal and helpful, so I always know I can depend on them when I need to.

Yeah, you sure are right about the loyalty, but there's a twist in there for me. I know I could trust my life in their hands, but not my heart.

[MetalWounds]

7. (used before adjectives that are used substantively, to note an individual, a class or number of individuals, or an abstract idea): to visit the sick; from the sublime to the ridiculous.

I don't see how there's any problem with "The SJs".

[Lookin4theBestNU]

Originally Posted by Nolla

Well, for me the value clashes end up me walking away angry because I can't get my point across. Is it true that their values never change?

I've neither heard nor read that anywhere and wouldn't use the word never in any case. SJs grow and mature like anyone. I would say that if your encounters with an entire temperament usually ends up with you getting angry perhaps examining your own behavior would be worthwhile. Keirsey discusses Pygmalion Projects in his book to great length which your issue with "getting your point across" could fall into that. MBTI wasn't originally designed to put people in boxes however it is often used that way which I suppose is a natural human inclination. In my own way I am even guilty of that.