Dating SP's

sakuraba · 12-19-2007, 10:41 PM

They are fun and lively. Especially the SFP types.

Ive seen NF with SP for a few months, But can they ever match the depth that an NF will want? Can these actually work out in the long run?

The main source of frustration seems like SP just wants to live in the moment and have fun. Which is fine with NFs at first, but after awihle they start to need more than that.

runvardh · 12-19-2007, 10:48 PM

You get the "more than that" stuff from friends; as long as the SP isn't too clingy, but full of love there is no real issue.

quietgirl · 12-21-2007, 12:51 AM

I've dated quite a few SP's & have a possible SP boyfriend on my hands now (though, who knows!)

I know the assumption is that an N with an S would lack any sort of deep connection, but I think that's where MBTI generalizes a bit.

I've always been able to have a connection with the SPs I've dated. It's not like they are so incredibly practical that they can't handle any sort of theory. It's like saying that I, as an NF, have absolutely no common sense & can't get outside of my head because I'm an N. It's simply not true.

Also, there are ways to connect with another human outside of abstract theory. I find my favorite connection I have with my boyfriend is that we both enjoy physical activities & traveling. He's also very thoughtful and a secret romantic.

He sees my needs and fills them the best he can & I do the same for him. I don't care what type he is... it works just fine for us.

He seems to border on the S/N line, but I am still much more theoretical than him (one of his biggest complaints is that I am constantly reading between the lines). If I feel the need to sit and discuss something philosophical all night long, I have other friends. I don't need it from a relationship.

The living in the moment as compared to not living in the moment was a source of frustration at times, but you either work with it or stay stubborn & let the relationship be ruined. If anything, dating SP's has allowed me to relax a bit and I think I've in turn brought some sort of order & structure to their lives. ESTP's & ISTP's do tend to differ from the traditional SP approach to life, too - I believe both of their interaction styles actually favor more of a plan ahead sort of approach. I've never had problems interacting with either of these types. Anyway, just because a person prefers to live in the moment, doesn't mean they will be so in the moment that cheating or outright dropping you will occur in your relationship. Figure out what a person's values are and you'll find that ANY type who doesn't value the meaning of a relationship will do things like cheat and drop off the face of the planet. It's not necessarily an SP kind of thing.

Honestly? What makes a relationship is how you treat one another, trust, honesty, and communication. If you can make that work with someone, then it really doesn't matter their type.

Personally? I have the most problems with NTPs - the supposingly perfect fit for an NF.

12-19-2007, 10:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
sakuraba Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Type: (y) Location: CANADA Posts: 373	Dating SP's They are fun and lively. Especially the SFP types. Ive seen NF with SP for a few months, But can they ever match the depth that an NF will want? Can these actually work out in the long run? The main source of frustration seems like SP just wants to live in the moment and have fun. Which is fine with NFs at first, but after awihle they start to need more than that.

12-19-2007, 10:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
runvardh Rebel Kitty Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: INFP Location: Alberta Posts: 5,665	You get the "more than that" stuff from friends; as long as the SP isn't too clingy, but full of love there is no real issue. __________________ Dreams are best served manifest and tangible. F does not mean socialy adept, just emotionaly unstable. INFP, 4w5 sx/sp, IEI

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
NFs dating SJs	sakuraba	The NF Idyllic	73	07-01-2009 02:35 AM
SP's and Se.	Athenian200	The SP Arthouse	31	12-27-2008 12:56 AM
what SP's look for in a potential mate	GirlAmerica	The SP Arthouse	30	01-02-2008 08:04 PM
SP's and cheating	GirlAmerica	The SP Arthouse	13	12-02-2007 05:33 AM

12-21-2007, 12:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
quietgirl Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Type: INFJ Posts: 403	I've dated quite a few SP's & have a possible SP boyfriend on my hands now (though, who knows!) I know the assumption is that an N with an S would lack any sort of deep connection, but I think that's where MBTI generalizes a bit. I've always been able to have a connection with the SPs I've dated. It's not like they are so incredibly practical that they can't handle any sort of theory. It's like saying that I, as an NF, have absolutely no common sense & can't get outside of my head because I'm an N. It's simply not true. Also, there are ways to connect with another human outside of abstract theory. I find my favorite connection I have with my boyfriend is that we both enjoy physical activities & traveling. He's also very thoughtful and a secret romantic. He sees my needs and fills them the best he can & I do the same for him. I don't care what type he is... it works just fine for us. He seems to border on the S/N line, but I am still much more theoretical than him (one of his biggest complaints is that I am constantly reading between the lines). If I feel the need to sit and discuss something philosophical all night long, I have other friends. I don't need it from a relationship. The living in the moment as compared to not living in the moment was a source of frustration at times, but you either work with it or stay stubborn & let the relationship be ruined. If anything, dating SP's has allowed me to relax a bit and I think I've in turn brought some sort of order & structure to their lives. ESTP's & ISTP's do tend to differ from the traditional SP approach to life, too - I believe both of their interaction styles actually favor more of a plan ahead sort of approach. I've never had problems interacting with either of these types. Anyway, just because a person prefers to live in the moment, doesn't mean they will be so in the moment that cheating or outright dropping you will occur in your relationship. Figure out what a person's values are and you'll find that ANY type who doesn't value the meaning of a relationship will do things like cheat and drop off the face of the planet. It's not necessarily an SP kind of thing. Honestly? What makes a relationship is how you treat one another, trust, honesty, and communication. If you can make that work with someone, then it really doesn't matter their type. Personally? I have the most problems with NTPs - the supposingly perfect fit for an NF.