Calling all ENFJs!

[Littlelostnf]

Targo started a thread about ENFP's and how they are the type most under represented on this forum. I disagree. I think of the NF's we are definately in the minority.

With that having been said and while I know there was once a while back a thread started to find out more about ENFJ's it's been buried and overwhelemed by other threads. So I'm starting a new one..sort of an All about ENFJ's thread.

My first question is...How many of you feel that ESFJ's are often mistaken for us? I don't know a 1/4 as many ENFJ's as so many people on this forum say they do IRL. I actually have one woman I work with who tested ENFJ and besides her all my other NF friends IRL are ENFP (8), INFP (4) and INFJ (2). I actually know more INFJ's than I do ENFJ's

[Lookin4theBestNU]

We had a couple of new ones join recently so I think our numbers will start to grow! We also had a thread recently where the actual numbers of types were listed. We ended up having more then I had thought. A few of the ENFJs we do have here do not post much so that may make it seem that way. I've only ever met one ENFJ IRL. However I've only known of one INFP but didn't actually get to talk to him much. He tested that after I had his ESFP wife take the test to him. INFJs and ENFPs seem pretty abundant IRL as I've met a few of each. I haven't met that many N types at all in general though!!

Originally Posted by littlelostnf

My first question is...How many of you feel that ESFJ's are often mistaken for us?

You crack me up! It doesn't matter how many times we say this...we can't argue with it honestly. Who knows maybe everyone lives where ENFJs flourish or something! I know it seems odd to me too that everyone seems to know several of them, yet with me searching for years have only found one! Though I highly doubt it maybe some of the folks we know to be ESFJs are ENFJs in disguise! Anyway as far as forum opinion goes I kind of gave up.

[Xander]

Errm well not to argue but one of my best mates is an ENFJ, so is my sister and so is Lori's mother. I also reckon that one of the women I work with is an ENFJ too.

Common as muck... obviously.

[Usehername]

I think at the time there were no threads about ENFPs while that one that I started for ENFJs existed. Now ENFPs are most represented.

I have a theory that a fair number of (nice) superjock males are actually ENFJs. You know, the ones that everybody loves and they date a bunch of girls but dump them right away? It makes sense--probably all the girls in the jock circles are S types and the ENFJs don't feel the "soulful connection" so they look like "players" because they go through so many girfriends. When really in high school they're just caught up in a very S dominated crowd.

[Littlelostnf]

Yes I saw a few new ones PP and others. Yes maybe low posting is what it's all about I know I'm not very a very prolific poster..and sometimes I answer in my head and never write it down. ha! Abundant ENFP's in my life and more INFP's than INFJ's but still like you only one ENFJ.

I do say this alot don't I. I'm telling you I just can't imagine that I've been looking for so long and I've only come up with one. THAT's it all those faux ESFJ's are really N's in disguise. Yeah I can't even begin to summon up the energy to battle forum opinion of ENFJ's There sure are an awful lot of evil ones out there. Like Jen said thank goodness for the few nice ones that are on board here.

Also about the superjocks...hmmm that's a very interesting theory Usehername. Hmmmm thinking of my very good superjock friend in high school. He totally could have been an ENFJ...not really sure but..hmmm we're still in touch occasionally..I never thought to ask him if he'd ever been typed. I will def do that soon.

[PinkPiranha]

I've never been mistaken for an ESFJ. I've had ESFJ friends, both male and female, and they just radiate this beautiful almost child-like optimism for the world. They can't seem to stay angry for long. They're way more easily wounded by social slights. Once while I talked to a female ESFJ friend of mine, she threw her arms around me, kissed my cheek and called me her storm cloud, then laughed and laughed. I value their buoyancy, kindness and enthusiasm. The N really does turn the edge of the blade.

And I'm glad to be ranked among the other ENFJs here. You guys have been nothing but welcoming and friendly.

[illiterate abc]

Originally Posted by Usehername

I have a theory that a fair number of (nice) superjock males are actually ENFJs. You know, the ones that everybody loves and they date a bunch of girls but dump them right away? It makes sense--probably all the girls in the jock circles are S types and the ENFJs don't feel the "soulful connection" so they look like "players" because they go through so many girfriends. When really in high school they're just caught up in a very S dominated crowd.

I only know one ENFJ male that is like this.

Hi everyone! I'm one of the new ones you all are talking about. I've only been actively involved in typology for about 5 days now but I've been doing some hobby research and telling my friends to take tests. Out of the 32 people I've gotten responses from so far, 5 of them are ENFJs. It's strange though, because some of these ENFJs I know very well (e.g. my sister) and I feel that I am out of place in their company. My ENTJ best friend who knows me like the back of his hand agrees that I seem to be a little out of place. Maybe they're the ones mistyped!

I've taken multiple different types of tests, with varying lengths and types of questions, and I've tested the following: ENFJ (twice), ENXX, ENTP, ESFP, and ENFP. The only thing I can be sure of from tests is that I am extraverted, and it's funny because a week ago (before I took any tests) I felt that I was getting more introverted as time went on and that I was INFJ. Basically, I'm confusing.

As far as the ENFJ description goes, it seems a little extreme for me. I never really thought that I was a mediator type...I always thought I'd be a rational. Since taking the test though, I realize more each day how much I live by instinct rather than on thinking. I mean, I think a lot (I'm a master's student and I teach a lab) but as far as personal decisions, it's all gut. I don't know, I'm still searching for my type.

As far as ESFJs go, I only know one, who happens to be my female roommate. Talking to her online before I moved in with her, I thought we had a lot in common. Now that I live with her, I realize that we are extremely different. She is not a teacher by any means. No, she definitely takes control of conversations and interrupts left and right...kinda gets on my nerves sometimes. Other than that, she's way more organized than I am; I set goals but don't micromanage like she does. I don't think our personalities could ever be mistaken for each other's. Then again, she's the only ESFJ I know.

[PinkPiranha]

My best friend tests as an ESTJ, but is a text book ENTJ. It could be that some of your friends are mistaken on a point or two, and it'll clarify itself soon enough.

ESFJs do talk a blue streak don't they? lol

[The_Liquid_Laser]

I only know of one person who I believe to be an ENFJ. (Although I asked her about MBTI and while she had to study it in school, she thinks it's flakey and she said she couldn't remember her type.) So for me ENFJ's are pretty scarce. On the other hand I've known boatloads of INTP's, so I think it can vary a lot from person to person. You can know a lot of one type, and hardly any of another.

[Littlelostnf]

Ok so the mystery of the missing ENFJ's has been solved in one way or another. Question #2: How many ENFJ's here have found themselves walking away from an encounter (particularly an emotional one) feeling as if there was no way you could have been clearer about how you felt and yet the other person seems to be deliberately taking what you've said and making it only your issue instead of accepting some part in the situation?....

Wait was the above clear?

Is this more about ENFJ perception of conflict or could it be others taking advantage of an ENFJ's clear want and need of relative peace in terms of interpersonal relationships? (in other words definately NOT drama queens)