How can I help my ENFP friend?

kathara · 11-09-2007, 07:20 PM

She is entering a depression, and it is very hard for her, much harder than it is for me since I am accustomed to it.

I can't provide her with the emotional support she needs, even if I can say the words.

findthejake · 11-09-2007, 07:35 PM

I went through depression for the first time in my life just last week. If she's anything like me, she'll miss herself in a few days time and bounce back. We love life too much to stay depressed for very long.

And nobody can give us the emotional support we need, we just have to remember we are ENFP! AND WE ARE STRONG!

Just let her know you're there for her. She'll remember who she is once the inquisitive nature is satisfied about how unfun being depressed is.

targo · 11-09-2007, 07:40 PM

depends how bad the depression is jake, as we can have the illusion of being okay while we're falling apart inside.

PinkPiranha · 11-09-2007, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathara

She is entering a depression, and it is very hard for her, much harder than it is for me since I am accustomed to it.

I can't provide her with the emotional support she needs, even if I can say the words.

Is this a "down time" or a sign of something serious? I've lived all my life with clinical depressives and it's not a wait-and-see matter. Does she need to talk to someone who's trained to help? Like a counselor?

chippinchunk · 11-13-2007, 12:28 AM

My ENFP friend has these times as well. I do agree with 'findthejake' though, it usually ends up fine.

targo · 11-13-2007, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chippinchunk

My ENFP friend has these times as well. I do agree with 'findthejake' though, it usually ends up fine.

just watch her..... we can be the master of distraction throwing ourselves into other people neglecting ourselves and slowly slipping away until one day we are numb....... comfortably numb and I speak from experience..........

dblhelix · 11-13-2007, 01:19 AM

My brother is an ENFP and all he does is work on a bunch of projects, never really getting into any of them. Lately he's been messing with music creation software--Cubase--and he's been going to college for 8 years now studying journalism, physics, communication and god knows what else. I'd help him, but every time I try he ignores me. He ignores everyone really. I'm not sure if he's depressed, but our parents pay for his school and he still lives at home, so he has almost no responsibilities, but he has a pretty decent job managing some database. He's a really smart guy, smarter than me, he just keeps bouncing around and doesn't know what he wants to do. I think he does drugs too. He's actually kind of a jerk because he feels as though he needs to look after ME (he's older) and I don't think he has the right to tell me how to live when his life is in complete disarray IMO.

I don't really talk to him because I moved away from home a long time ago and I only see him a couple times a year. Even when I am at home, it's like he doesn't live there because I never see him. I don't know what he does, he's just never home. The only thing he does at home is sleep and he spends many nights a week somewhere else. My family has pretty much given up on him because he never listens to anyone and he's never at home and he never talks to anyone else in the family. I keep telling my parents to kick his ass out, but they don't want to. His room is completely trashed, he has a cat and he never cleans the litter box (which I have to smell every time I come home) he's even started moving his crap into the room I stay in because his room is so disorderly so when I come home I have to clean his shit out of my room first. I know I'd be depressed if I was him, but I don't think he cares.

OctaviaCaesar · 11-14-2007, 07:04 PM

One of my parents is a strong ENFP and has been through a similar, long period of unhappiness. It came from trying to be other than herself, and not believing that she is worthy and valuable.

Depression is such a hard, horrible thing! Perhaps these same reasons can shed light on your situation.

P.S. May she get well soon!

paradox · 11-15-2007, 06:26 PM

It's just downtime for the ENFP or we are fixated on something morbid. It usually passes.

_Ti_ · 11-22-2007, 02:52 AM

An ENFP in sad times needs to be loved on.
Yeah.

11-09-2007, 07:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
kathara Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Type: INTP Posts: 12	How can I help my ENFP friend? She is entering a depression, and it is very hard for her, much harder than it is for me since I am accustomed to it. I can't provide her with the emotional support she needs, even if I can say the words.

11-09-2007, 07:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
targo ~tarabell~ Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: Location: chaotically puttering Posts: 2,653	depends how bad the depression is jake, as we can have the illusion of being okay while we're falling apart inside. __________________ ~t ...in need of hugs please... Jung Test Results Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

11-13-2007, 01:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
dblhelix Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: INTP Location: cool place Posts: 15	My brother is an ENFP and all he does is work on a bunch of projects, never really getting into any of them. Lately he's been messing with music creation software--Cubase--and he's been going to college for 8 years now studying journalism, physics, communication and god knows what else. I'd help him, but every time I try he ignores me. He ignores everyone really. I'm not sure if he's depressed, but our parents pay for his school and he still lives at home, so he has almost no responsibilities, but he has a pretty decent job managing some database. He's a really smart guy, smarter than me, he just keeps bouncing around and doesn't know what he wants to do. I think he does drugs too. He's actually kind of a jerk because he feels as though he needs to look after ME (he's older) and I don't think he has the right to tell me how to live when his life is in complete disarray IMO. I don't really talk to him because I moved away from home a long time ago and I only see him a couple times a year. Even when I am at home, it's like he doesn't live there because I never see him. I don't know what he does, he's just never home. The only thing he does at home is sleep and he spends many nights a week somewhere else. My family has pretty much given up on him because he never listens to anyone and he's never at home and he never talks to anyone else in the family. I keep telling my parents to kick his ass out, but they don't want to. His room is completely trashed, he has a cat and he never cleans the litter box (which I have to smell every time I come home) he's even started moving his crap into the room I stay in because his room is so disorderly so when I come home I have to clean his shit out of my room first. I know I'd be depressed if I was him, but I don't think he cares. __________________ MBTI: INTP Socionics: LII/INTj wit is like sex--overrated.

11-15-2007, 06:26 PM	#9 (permalink)
paradox Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Type: ENFP Posts: 11	It's just downtime for the ENFP or we are fixated on something morbid. It usually passes. __________________ The inability to forget is far more debilitating than the inability to remember.......

11-22-2007, 02:52 AM	#10 (permalink)
_Ti_ Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Type: ENFP Posts: 16	An ENFP in sad times needs to be loved on. Yeah. __________________ I want a love who knows that loving him is all I want to do

11-09-2007, 07:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
findthejake Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Type: ENFP Location: AZ Posts: 258	I went through depression for the first time in my life just last week. If she's anything like me, she'll miss herself in a few days time and bounce back. We love life too much to stay depressed for very long. And nobody can give us the emotional support we need, we just have to remember we are ENFP! AND WE ARE STRONG! Just let her know you're there for her. She'll remember who she is once the inquisitive nature is satisfied about how unfun being depressed is.

11-13-2007, 12:28 AM	#5 (permalink)
chippinchunk Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Type: INFJ Location: I live in your closet, you just don't see me much anymore. Posts: 112	My ENFP friend has these times as well. I do agree with 'findthejake' though, it usually ends up fine.

11-14-2007, 07:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
OctaviaCaesar Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Type: INFJ Location: Middle Tennessee State University Posts: 211	One of my parents is a strong ENFP and has been through a similar, long period of unhappiness. It came from trying to be other than herself, and not believing that she is worthy and valuable. Depression is such a hard, horrible thing! Perhaps these same reasons can shed light on your situation. P.S. May she get well soon!

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