negative traits of unhealthy NF

[CzeCze]

Originally Posted by sakuraba

-can be manipulative
-can be needy and always wanting your support, and then get mad when you want their support
-can be selfish
-dishonest

I don't really identify with these as unhealthy states. [And I'm sure a critical observer could pick the next paragraph apart --] The second part especially: I never get angry with friends when they want my support, I love being needed and being able to give back to my friends. It's kind of an honor that someone trusts you enough to turn to you for support and knowing you can make a positive difference. That's what friends are for, yes? I don't even get angry when strangers want my support, even when I say no.

And with 'manipulative' I always get a little vigilant when an non NF, especially an NT says that. 'Manipulation' is in the eye of the beholder and like in that 'help with with my fat, social ENFJ coworker' thread, if you yourself lack good interpersonal skills and confidence, you'll find a lot of people to be manipulative and bullying when they're just being human.

Of course, your ex in the OP sounds like she was unhealthy. Period. And just not a pleasant person to be with. I've actually known someone who had similar behaviors -- whining, being melodramatic and seeking attention and then being really rude when you finally try to give her that attention and claim that "everyone" around her underestimates her. But she was also clinically depressed and on medication.

I dunno, I think there's a point where unhealthiness trumps MBTI. Or should be looked at separately and not pathologically or is just not really relevant to the diagnosis.

Meaning, did the person's type cause their bipolar disorder and schizophrenia and is it an extension of their personality via personalty type? Or is did the disorder/illness plant the seeds of 'personality type' or is otherwise being mistaken for personality type? For instance, a person who is very depressed will exhibit signs that would mask their 'true' personality type, if you believe that someone has a 'true' type at their core.

Maybe my understanding of mental health and disease needs more development, but I don't think that would change my perspective much. Perhaps personality typing adds another dimension to their prognosis, but I think you [can] go beyond the realm MBTI type when it comes to unhealthy behavior and such discussions are no longer helpful.

[Bovinity]

I was about to just list a slew of negative adjectives, but will try and focus around Intuition and Feeling (I'm sadly ignorant about psychology, but I think well acquainted with being "unhealthy"). I would say the unhealthy NF:

- Becomes convinced they're a clairvoyant and mind reader. "This person I just met obviously hates me, it is so clear in their body language!"

- Feels heightened focus on the misery of others and feels responsible and powerless.

- As others have said, inconsolable. Any compliment or advice is quickly dismissed (not always out loud.)

- Needy, develops huge unreasonable expectations of a best friend or significant other.

[anii]

chronic navel gazing?

[quietmusician]

I think this fits me. Man, I must be like a fallen INFP or something.

[nolla]

Originally Posted by anii

chronic navel gazing?

Ah, shit. Guilty...

[IDK123]

Others haver told me that I'm way too critical of myself, get stressed easily, and get stuck on things but I really don't fit the OP's description.