The dark side of ENFPs

[LeonardoLestat]

Originally Posted by FinalFrontier89

Ahh on the contrary. I WANT to get in touch with my "dark" side.

hedonistic/more extroverted Fi's love the dark side, because it's intense...
At least I do. And ISFP's do.

[entropie]

I think you can really see sides on different levels.

For example the most basic level, which applies to all humans equally is that general sense of human morality that is defined through, whether you respect other human life or only your own.

Then you have a subjective level of a Dark Side. The ENFPs may think that they are generally Good persons, because they try to be nice to everyone else. To other persons that behaviour can come off tho, as if they are playing a game, so it can raise suspcion. So on this level there is a subjective perception going on. Furthermore a general niceness towards people can be shown, but the person can be on the Dark Side of the human morale basic level; namely he doesnt respect human life and only uses his kidness as means to reach his goals.

So there are various combinations of Dark and various levels of hell, I am generally thinking so, you think of yourself that you feel to naive and to nice towards people and that they use that in you.

[Lohengrin]

Originally Posted by FinalFrontier89

One thing I've heard is that ENFP's often censor their views to not be contrarian or cause conflict.

Argh, my cousin can be really annoying in that respect. He'd say X, I'd say notX and he'd cleverly backtrack and relate X to notX in a way that is clearly aimed at avoiding conflict. He's quite confident and outspoken but that particular tendency pisses me off especially because he's rather intelligent and I do want to listen to his insights and understand where he's coming from.

[Amargith]

^we see associations everywhere and will not just try to harmonize but actually synthesize points of views between ourselves and our conversational partners, as that is in fact how we enrich our own world views. It's just a different way of working; also, often I find myself being misunderstood by those who interpret my words from a different point of view, which then turns out not to be what I meant. Maybe it's coz we tend to be rather chaotic and nonchalant that we leave too many loopholes, or just the difference in thinking (Fe/Fi), I dunno.

I guess what I'm saying is, try to give him the benefit of the doubt

This does not mean however that I deny the fact that some ENFPs do indeed keep quiet or do not stand up for what they believe in sometimes in order to keep the peace. Also, since we can easily see anothers point of view, it is possible to completely change your view after their explanation, and do the same when someone else counters that view. Lack of critical thinking can definitely occur this way, though it will rarely happen when it comes to the ENFPs core values, ime.

As for the dark side of ENFPs: I tend to overindulge on things that are pleasurable...

aka intense emotions, good food on occasion, things like that. Addictive personality they call that, I guess

[Lohengrin]

^I do get what you're saying and I do love it when my other ENFP friend does that (it's always preceded by a pensive look downwards for a second or two before she continues conversing in that Ne-mode. Its cute. lol) but my gripe is when its clearly aimed at deflecting any possible conflict (I'm ISFP. We're super-perceptive).

[Elaur]

I think the dark side of an enfp is the oppposite of the bouncy, giggly enfp stereotype. There is a heck of a lot more going on and people just don't always catch it.

[Lohengrin]

^Another reason my ENFP (well, almost my ENFP... before travel interfered) said I could read her like a book. Most people around her thought she was this fickle, weird, affectionate, bubbly girl and they thought that that was all she was. I saw through to her depth, intelligence, intense and fragile inner world, and that simultaneously excited and scared her.

And, yeah, inner world could get pretty dark if she had plenty of time alone to stew on her thoughts. Is this common with other ENFPs?

[Elaur]

Yes, that is exactly what I mean.

[Amargith]

Thank god for those that do take a moment to look beyond that first impression

[Little Linguist]

Originally Posted by Elaur

I think the dark side of an enfp is the oppposite of the bouncy, giggly enfp stereotype. There is a heck of a lot more going on and people just don't always catch it.

Hellz yeah. When I tell people I test INFJ/INTJ sometimes, people look at me like, DUDE??? WHAT???

Yes, I have a *VERY QUIET, SERIOUS, DEEP* side. The stereotype is what I show others when I don't know them at well or are not at work or just feeling silly and need to chill.

I'm quite capable of holding my end of a conversation, debating, public speaking, or whatever....I just have to care enough and be in the right mood.

In fact, outside of work, I spend most of my time alone....