[NF] Why are emotions so important to you?

[Virtual ghost]

There is alot of talk about emotions on this board but it looks to me that there is little about something quite basic in this story.


Why NFs care so much about emotions? What is so special about them?
Are they important because you have alot of them or it here something else?
(or both)


Are there situations in which emotions are totally irrelevant from your perspective?


I remember that once one NF on this board said that one of his/her worst fears is that he/she will become a robot. (in emotional sense)
So I am wondering how many NFs can relate to this.



The few SFs that post here are also welcome to reply

 

[Snow Turtle]

I don't really know whether it's different for NFs but from an SF perspective. Emotions are when the heart speak out, it's basically a nagivation device. It's the subconscious speaking out to us. I listened to my logical reasoning despite my emotions feeling otherwise. It lead me down what I feel is the wrong path.

I don't listen to raw emotions as much. However they do provide some insight into the psyche. I wait until I've fully processed the emotion before I consider it relevant because it might just be a huge reaction.

For myself becoming a robot means that I've lost my path. I've become stotic like recently and it scares me that I can't feel much anymore, the horrible sense of apathy that accompanies helplessness. I can't tell what I want anymore properly and how I feel about certain things.

For an NFP it'd mean losing Fi - losing their inner core, their personality. I'm not actually sure what losing Fe would be like for an NFJ... However it can be both for either type, they're both F functions.

 

[Gengar]

emotions. . .

Dear INTJ fella,

Let me ask you this, what is the underlying purpose of everything you do? For achievements? For satisfaction? For ambition? Because you have to in order to survive?

You will find that it all comes down to emotion in the end. That is why, in this sense, emotion is not only important to NFs, but all types.

As David Hume once said, "Reason is the slave of all passion."

Human passion can only be generated by emotions, it can't be given anyway else. You can't logically come to the conclusion that running is your passion. You have to feel it.

Therefore, of course we put our emotions first. I believe that even you do.

 

[Lacey]

Huh. This is a hard question. I'll do my best to answer.

For a while, I was unsure if I was INTP or INFP. The main thing that made me decide that I was INFP, though, was that I'm basically a bleeding heart for other people. I wish that I didn't care that much, but I do. So, I guess I'm logical and rational with my own concerns, but I'm not with other people.

I learned how important my own emotions are when they were taken away from me. I was really depressed for awhile, so I resorted to "logical" thinking. Now that I'm on my way out from that darkness, I can feel again. I feel more connected to myself, but more importantly, I feel more connected to other people and God. Mature emotions, not reckless ones, make me feel more at home with myself and others.

Sorry, that was a long, rambling answer. If you want me to clarify anything, let me know. I'm still trying to clarify it for myself.

 

[mortabunt]

Emotions being important: The only time you need feelings is when you go looking for love.

 

[civil_disobedience]

Why are emotions important? Because for the most part, it is what we count on to navigate through life... Not in the sense that, "This is sad or boring, I don't want to do it so I won't."

But in the sense that most of our decisions are based on value judgements that take into consideration their effect on other people.

I guess emotions are important because I have them and they are a strong part of who I am. My emotions motivate me to create things to express myself and they give me a sense of connectedness to every one and everything. So I would also be concerned were to be become 'robotic.'

Emotions are irrelevent when they become self-destructive. When you find yourself wallowing in negative emotions after a break-up or being laid off or whatever else.. Then I think it's time to reason through the events and plan on changing your circumstance.

 

[redacted]

Emotions affect everyone a lot. Not focusing enough on them is a mistake (focusing too much is a mistake too, obviously).

 

[OrangeAppled]

Emotions are important to NFs because they are at the core of who we are. At least for me anyway, my feelings (which steer my thought process) influence who I am, what I do, what I say. Unless you make an effort to study up on something like MBTI, you might go though life assuming everyone functions as you do. Therefore, their emotions are of the upmost importance too, because it is essentially who they are from our perspective.

Realizing that not everyone processes things in the same way, I still tend to emphasize emotions simply because it is how I understand things. I will ask people how they feel about things a lot, and it's not wrong or right answer kind of questions, so they are like "um, dude, I'm fine". I was probing for their emotional perspective because I think this is the deep, underlying side of the person and I want to get to the root of the matter. Asking more open questions as to their feelings makes me think I will get a more in-depth and genuine response since the aspect of "right" & "wrong" is not there. It's like, "tell me what you really think, not what you're supposed to say".

I have to make a conscious effort to realize that to some people feelings are trivial, even their own. That concept in itself bugs me, because they not trivial for me, they are nearly EVERYTHING.

That said, there are situations in which feelings are irrelevant. I can recognize that some feelings can be irrational and should not be acted on. This is true of my own feelings & other's feelings. I've known people who say, "I can't help how I feel and I have to follow my heart", and I think that is BS. You may not be able to help how you feel, but you can know if it is wrong or right & not act on those feelings. Sometimes my feelings are ridiculous and I have to remind myself that just because I feel a certain way doesn't mean that is how IT IS & it doesn't give me license to act out. I can also reign in my feelings and steer them in a direction that is more sensible. I get frustrated with people who I perceive to have little control over their own emotions as much as I get frustrated with people who dismiss all emotional thinking as "irrational".

 

[Wiley45]

I experience my life through emotions. Of course, I have plenty of thoughts, but I have to consciously work to think about "why" I'm feeling what I'm feeling and name the thoughts that accompany those feelings. For me, feeling always comes first, or it's the first thing of which I'm aware in any life situation. I make a lot of important decisions based on a "gut feeling," and those decisions normally end up being good ones.

I don't know that there's any time I'd consider a feeling "irrelevant" because I think all feelings deserve some consideration, at least initially. However, there are times when emotions need to take a back seat to reason. For me, this is especially the case if my emotions cause me to want to act in a way that isn't ethical or beneficial.

 

[Hyperions Shadow]

Personally, I feel like emotion is a large part of my intuition. When I am confronted with a situtation, I don't always know what I think about it, but I always know how I feel about it. From this gut feeling, I'm able to quickly react and generally make a good decision. If nothing else it always gives me a good starting point to analyze the situtation from.

Also I feel like my emotions are the gateway to my subconscious/soul/whatever you want to call it, and without them I could never know that part of myself.

And I want to experience other's emotions so that I can know that part of them too.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Emotions affect everyone a lot. Not focusing enough on them is a mistake.

That is exactly why I am opening all those threads about feelings.

Dear INTJ fella,

Let me ask you this, what is the underlying purpose of everything you do? For achievements? For satisfaction? For ambition? Because you have to in order to survive?

You will find that it all comes down to emotion in the end. That is why, in this sense, emotion is not only important to NFs, but all types.

As David Hume once said, "Reason is the slave of all passion."

Human passion can only be generated by emotions, it can't be given anyway else. You can't logically come to the conclusion that running is your passion. You have to feel it.

Therefore, of course we put our emotions first. I believe that even you do.

As for you first question I would say that I just want to survive and expand intellectually.


What you have said is basicly true but not fully (from my perspective of course)

There is one thing about expressed INTJs (or maybe it is just me). Which is that intuition can kill the feeling. What means that if something happens I will just react since I can clearly see the outcome. So I don't have to involve my feelings in the story. This can be described as pure inertia.

People say you must use emotions to make a choice. Which is true. But I am one of those people that just charts the course and drives in that direction. Analysing everything that comes my way and will I rearrange details if needed. So I don't have to have close connection with my emotions.


Also I don't doubt myself I only doubt the data I get and plans themselfs.
But since I don't doubt myself as person I am quite calm.


As for the running example I am not 100% sure about that.

Since you can decide that running has to be your passion. (because or health for example). But in this case it is up to a debate if this is really a passion.
But if you don't do things out of pure passion then the amount of feeling in the system is lower by default/definition.
People usually don't understand how NTJs think and I think this is good example of NTJ approach. The only thing that is really F here are big picture goals.
Of course things are not black and white but in my cases things are not too far from that.

 

[Tiny Army]

My emotions are only important to me in that they are perpetually in my way. They keep me from making solid, rational decisions and make me behave inappropriately. I have a terrible temper and most things make me cry. This sucks.

I try to understand emotions so that I can learn to successfully keep my own in control.

Also, other peoples' emotions waste my time and their own. I would like to keep those in check, too.

 

[Moiety]

it's basically a nagivation device. It's the subconscious speaking out to us.

I like how you put that.

Yeah, I think the relative importance of both emotions and thoughts depends on the individual. Why do we pay importance to them? Because we feel all the time. Same as Ts think all the time and thus pay importance to their thought process. (gross dichotomization)

Everyone needs emotional stability to be happy. For someone who feels very little, emotional stability must still exist though. However insignificant that person's feelings might seem, they need to be harbored healthily.

It's just like eating or whatever. Everyone must strive to satisfy their own needs. The more you understand how they work, the content you'll be.

 

[Clownmaster]

Why NFs care so much about emotions? What is so special about them?
Are they important because you have alot of them or it here something else?
(or both)

For starters, they're important because that is our default method on how to react to situations. (Most) NFs can still be very logical and know how to separate their emotions from a situation if the time calls for it, but especially if we get wronged or betrayed, our anger can give us the determination to follow through with any threats. In situations of passion or joy, our emotions carry our actions to stay "in the moment" with the flood of energy around us.

Are there situations in which emotions are totally irrelevant from your perspective?

Undoubtedly: Jury duty.

I remember that once one NF on this board said that one of his/her worst fears is that he/she will become a robot. (in emotional sense)
So I am wondering how many NFs can relate to this.

I don't relate at all. My emotions are like my compass pointing north, but I can choose what direction I wish to walk.

 

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

Emotion is my life, it directs my path both consciously and subconsciously. It's why I make goals, why I pursue relationships, why I have morals, how I love and why I love. I believe it's also what connects humanity, what deepens our connections with one another. Pure logic isn't what brings humanity together to fight and make progress. It's the belief in a brighter future, it's to save a life, it's banding together in times of devastating loss and supporting one another. Human beings, who think and feel no more or less than you do. This is how we connect, through fellow feeling.

I think people deny their emotions when they feel enslaved to them, like they can't control how they feel so they numb it. But the pain doesn't disappear just because you say it isn't there. Emotion is and always will be an automatic response to things in your life, even if you don't always act on them. Brene Brown had an interesting thing to say about emotional vulnerability: "vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they are _never_ weakness." Emotions are not weakness, disregarding them is not strength. I wouldn't make an impulse decision based on a fleeting feeling, because I process my emotions before I act on them. I think about how ethical they are, how I would feel about doing it, how it would affect others, etc. People mistake feelers as irrational, because we can be sensitive. But basing value on ethics is emotional intelligence. Because of that, I don't think there's any situation in which emotions become totally irrelevant for anybody, even a Thinking type. There's two sides to everything in life; considering the ethical perspective gives you a more balanced and effective decision.

I wouldn't say I have a fear of becoming robotic, I could never even fathom that happening to me. But if we lacked a healthy amount of emotion, I do believe that we'd be like robots. There would be no drive or purpose, we'd merely act out of necessity like ants and animals. Go here. stop. enter. Living, but nothing to live for. Removing purpose leaves us aimless, no matter who you are. Merely trying to lengthenlife but not fulfilling anything.

 

[Ghost]

But the pain doesn't disappear just because you say it isn't there.

What if I say it really, really loud?

 

[Coriolis]

I wouldn't say I have a fear of becoming robotic, I could never even fathom that happening to me. But if we lacked a healthy amount of emotion, I do believe that we'd be like robots. There would be no drive or purpose, we'd merely act out of necessity like ants and animals. Go here. stop. enter. Living, but nothing to live for. Removing purpose leaves us aimless, no matter who you are. Merely trying to lengthenlife but not fulfilling anything.

Why is emotion necessary for purpose?

 

[Mole]

I think my emotions are important to me because with them I enjoy life. However my emotions are not entirely healthy, and so sometimes they mislead me into unhappiness.

I think the marriage of emotion and reason gives the best results and the most enjoyable results.

 

[Amargith]

Dear intj,

Emotion is information.

Information is knowledge.

Knowledge is power - which you know, or you wouldnt be asking this question.

In my case, this type of information is also fascination and happiness, as its knowledge allows me to diminish suffering in tve world. It is kind of like getting the remote to an enormous fire alarm that's been blaring since i was born.

What you re asking is akin to someone who doesnt feel pain asking why you stop running just because your foot got broken.

Because it fucking hurts - and for a good reason. Pain is a warning system that helps us be kind to our body.

While emotions are a more complex system with a wider range, it is equally vital, unignorable and worthy of consideration. While your body removes the pain st first so you can flee, it doubles down on it when you re safe so you re forced to let it heal. I find the same logic applies to emotions. Yes, they sometimes get in the way short term, so by all means turn them off then, but in the long run, doing so chronically cripples you and worse.

There is a reason a person who feels no pain has to check their body all the time for damage.


Ime, this is no different.

 

[Yuurei]

Emotions affect everyone a lot. Not focusing enough on them is a mistake (focusing too much is a mistake too, obviously).

I find them to only cause trouble. Basing your decisions on how you are feeling or what youbwant at any moment is a bad idea. So no matter how angry I get I don't act on it. The immediate satisfaction is never worth the long term consequence.

So, to me, emotions are just a bad influence.