Nature Vs. ThatGirl

ThatGirl · 08-14-2008, 03:51 AM

Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures.

So I am no genius but I can tell when patterns begin to hold innconsistancies. Lately it seems like nature has had it in for me.

In the last month, (after years of no problems), I have encountered:

1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me.

2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head.

3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents.

4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured.

5. Had to trap three lizards.

6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins.

WTF. Is nature out to get me?

Jack Flak · 08-14-2008, 04:52 AM

Nature, or paranoid schizophrenia?

ThatGirl · 08-14-2008, 05:37 AM

Possibly a combination of both.

Maybe the big one is comming! *off to make my sandwhich sign*

Jack Flak · 08-14-2008, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

Possibly a combination of both.

Maybe the big one is comming! *off to make my sandwhich sign*

Uh, which sign? I kid, I kid.

ThatGirl · 08-14-2008, 02:43 PM

right then....carry on....

runvardh · 08-14-2008, 04:06 PM

That's funny! For me even mosquitos are leary of biting me. I also have a habit of staring at squirrels as if they're my next meal so they give me my space. Even crows make sure they're fairly high up a tree before they dream of cawing at me. The only local fauna I haven't had interactions with are cougars, grizzlies, and wolves - the rest either love me or keep a respectful distance.

reason · 08-14-2008, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

WTF. Is nature out to get me?

Wow. It's like that movie, Final Destination, but without the plane crash and old black guy with the coarse voice.

murkrow · 08-15-2008, 01:37 AM

Kill the mice yet?

JAVO · 08-15-2008, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures.

This is funny, but I'm going to pick it apart in the spirit of gool old NT fun and humor....

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me.

Not normal behavior at all indeed! Someone had obviously been feeding them. Were you eating at the time or carrying food?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head.

Maybe there was a nest nearby it was "defending." I suggest a simple hat as an adequate defense.

Besides, the bird was actually being nice to you. They've been known to engage in certain *ahem* "biological warfare" tactics.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents.

That is strange, but you probably won't deny that your bed is the warmest coziest place in the house. It's also a sign you need to seal any external openings which are large enough to fit a pencil eraser with expanding foam sealant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured.

Good going, ya cruel, cold-hearted NT!

Care to share any incriminating details? Some of us balance our N with our T you know.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

5. Had to trap three lizards.

Why? Were you hungry?

Sealing for the mice should seal out the Reptilians.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins.

Ouch. Black widow in a pile of firewood perhaps? That's a classic hideout for them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGirl

WTF. Is nature out to get me?

No, but your fear and lack of understanding of it has already gotten you.

Edit: By the way, if you think you have problems now, just remember that nature could get even scarier.

ThatGirl · 08-15-2008, 04:03 AM

Running total:

Nature: Billions
Thatgirl:...2...and counting

Nature log:

I haven't slept well in days. At night I can hear the sounds of nature closing in upon me. As though at any moment I will come to understand the meaning behind these random events. I am not sure that I want to know. What does it hold? This is messing with my mind. Any time I feel the wind gently brush across me arm I jump in fright. Am I loosing my grip? I woke in the morning to find a scratch on my neck. I could have sworn it wasn't there before. Was it them? They must die. I fear the worst. Rabies.... the Plauge. I am watching myself for signs of erratic behavior........it is not looking good. I stand tall and shout to nature "Can't we just agree to disagree?!" As I rock myself to sleep I repeat to myself "battles my friend, not war" I must win.........must.

Stupid mice with their "I am so cool I can collapse my skeleton and invade your dwelling!" attitude. Technically they were dead the second they decided to enter my unit.

08-14-2008, 03:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
ThatGirl #5 Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: ENTP Posts: 1,849	Nature Vs. ThatGirl Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures. So I am no genius but I can tell when patterns begin to hold innconsistancies. Lately it seems like nature has had it in for me. In the last month, (after years of no problems), I have encountered: 1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me. 2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head. 3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents. 4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured. 5. Had to trap three lizards. 6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins. WTF. Is nature out to get me?

08-14-2008, 04:06 PM	#6 (permalink)
runvardh Rebel Kitty Join Date: Jun 2007 Type: INFP Location: Alberta Posts: 5,665	That's funny! For me even mosquitos are leary of biting me. I also have a habit of staring at squirrels as if they're my next meal so they give me my space. Even crows make sure they're fairly high up a tree before they dream of cawing at me. The only local fauna I haven't had interactions with are cougars, grizzlies, and wolves - the rest either love me or keep a respectful distance. __________________ Dreams are best served manifest and tangible. F does not mean socialy adept, just emotionaly unstable. INFP, 4w5 sx/sp, IEI

08-15-2008, 01:37 AM	#8 (permalink)
murkrow Peeping Tom Join Date: Jul 2008 Type: ENTJ Location: Montreal Posts: 968	Kill the mice yet? __________________ with your hands on your head or on the trigger of your gun?

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08-14-2008, 04:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
Jack Flak Banned Join Date: Jul 2008 Type: INTP Location: The Everlasting Sky Posts: 9,359	Nature, or paranoid schizophrenia?

08-14-2008, 05:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
ThatGirl #5 Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: ENTP Posts: 1,849	Possibly a combination of both. Maybe the big one is comming! off to make my sandwhich sign

08-14-2008, 02:43 PM	#5 (permalink)
ThatGirl #5 Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: ENTP Posts: 1,849	right then....carry on....

08-15-2008, 04:03 AM	#10 (permalink)
ThatGirl #5 Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: ENTP Posts: 1,849	Running total: Nature: Billions Thatgirl:...2...and counting Nature log: I haven't slept well in days. At night I can hear the sounds of nature closing in upon me. As though at any moment I will come to understand the meaning behind these random events. I am not sure that I want to know. What does it hold? This is messing with my mind. Any time I feel the wind gently brush across me arm I jump in fright. Am I loosing my grip? I woke in the morning to find a scratch on my neck. I could have sworn it wasn't there before. Was it them? They must die. I fear the worst. Rabies.... the Plauge. I am watching myself for signs of erratic behavior........it is not looking good. I stand tall and shout to nature "Can't we just agree to disagree?!" As I rock myself to sleep I repeat to myself "battles my friend, not war" I must win.........must. Stupid mice with their "I am so cool I can collapse my skeleton and invade your dwelling!" attitude. Technically they were dead the second they decided to enter my unit.