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  1. #1
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    Default Fi v Fe on Expressing Emotion

    Lately I've been questioning the notion that Fi users keep their feelings to themselves, and Fe users need to talk about their feelings. It's said that since Fi is introverted, it is more concerned with internal feelings AND keeps those feelings to itself.
    Since Fe is extroverted, it's more concerned with others' feelings AND emotes outwardly.
    However, I don't see why whose emotions we understand better has anything to do with whether we need to share our feelings or not. To me it seems like two unrelated characteristics. Actually in my experience, I feel like the opposite has been true. All the Fi users I know (INFP Father, ESFP Sister, ENFP Best Friend) are much more apt to express their feelings because they don't worry that they might burden someone or potentially make them feel awkward.
    I think it would be more accurate to say, instead, that when an Fi user tends to keep their emotions to themselves, it's usually for X reason. When they tend to express it, it's usually for Y reason. And the same for Fe users. Rather than say Fi users don't emote & Fe users do.
    What do you guys think?

    On a more general note, I've noticed that when Fi and Fe users do talk about their feelings, the resulting conversation is very different. When a Fi user expresses their emotions, they're very precise & can describe exactly what they're feeling, & could probably talk about them at length if they wanted to. When a Fe user expresses emotion, it's in a much more generic way & requires another person's input to understand more deeply. The conversation would contain a lot more back and forth than with a Fi user. It's significantly less taxing for an Fe to analyze & discuss someone else's emotions than their own. I've haven't seen an Fi user try to analyze someone else's emotions aloud before that I can remember, but I assume the opposite is true.
    Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Crystal Winter Dream's Avatar
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    Default

    I think you're on to something.

    Either type is capable of expressing their emotions. It is more about how they handle ethics.

    Fe is not necessarily needing to express emotion, but needs an externalized opinion on its personal beliefs. They want to know if their ethic system is right or wrong based on the external view of those closest to them. Fe also has an "outer peace" mentality, which causes it to associate closely with people of like-minded ideas but not as much with different others, otherwise conflict in their group or ethics may arise. To them, beliefs and such are more objective and relate to the whole.

    Fi is also not necessarily needing to express emotion, but takes an internalized approach to their ethics. Because they do internalize it, they may not be as open about their POV. It may also make them more firm and sure of their POV. They also have a more "inner peace" mentality so they are more likely to associate themselves with people of a completely different POV because beliefs and such are more subjective and personalized to them.
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  3. #3
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkyborneVeggies View Post
    All the Fi users I know (INFP Father, ESFP Sister, ENFP Best Friend) are much more apt to express their feelings because they don't worry that they might burden someone or potentially make them feel awkward.
    Doesn’t jive with my experience or observations. I rarely discuss or express my emotions with people IRL precisely because I don’t want to burden them with it. I also anticipate misunderstanding and invalidation....so why bother.

    The reason people say this about Fi and Fe is because it’s part of how Jung described the types. However, he described pure types, and most people aren’t a pure type.

    I've haven't seen an Fi user try to analyze someone else's emotions aloud before that I can remember, but I assume the opposite is true.
    I’m pretty comfortable with other people’s emotions. I only get uncomfortable when they expect me to mirror them and see to judge me if I don’t respond in the way they think everyone should respond.

    Friends and even strangers come to me for advice or as a listening ear because I’m calm and empathetic.
    Not the biggest fan of Keirsey, but he has some insights. He called INFPs “harmonizer clarifiers” because we have a tendency to use our own method of analyzing and clarifying our own emotions to develop value concepts so we can harmonize our emotions, feelings, actions etc, to help others analyze and clarify their emotions so they can bring their different parts into harmony too.

    Anyhow I think it’s important to note that ExFPs are first and foremost extroverts and perceiving types. Openness of expression is most associated with extroversion. So ExFPs can be very expressive, and the impetus for it is often tied more to their extroverted perceiving preference, which often seeks to affect or be affected by its environment. They tend to respond more, er, impulsively, basically. And although IxFJs may prefer Fe as an auxiliary function, they still may be quite reserved with expression of emotion. Extroverted Feeling is in service of their dominant introverted perceiving ego.

    Emotions and feeling aren’t the same thing either, not in this theory. Feeling tends to use emotion as relevant data. Experience of emotion isn’t tied to any psychological type. Expression of it can occur or not occur for many reasons. For example, thinking types tend to have outbursts because they may ignore emotion since it’s not relevant to their main focus the way it is for Feeling types.
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