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  1. #1
    Senior(ita) Member Cloudpatrol's Avatar
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    Question E or I: In the House?

    When I first came to this site I was under the misunderstanding that I versus E had to do with “energy around people”. Glad to have been corrected of that.


    This is of the best, basic descriptions I have come across on extraversion/introversion.




    Anecodotal: I LOVE the people who live upstairs from me. The husband is SO friendly. We hit it off from the first second. The wife comes across as bit ‘colder’ but also a complete sweetheart.

    Here’s the thing:

    The wife loves socializing. Would have people over 24/7 if she could. He, on the other hand, is a bit of a loner. Likes time to himself. Loves to putter in the garage on his motorcycle.

    My husband and I were the same way. My husband (was an I with high E) was more sarcastic. He held himself back more initially but LOVED being around people.

    The person I am with now (E) is the same way. He likes some time to himself but is happiest conversing with other’s. Dropping in or having people drop by.

    I (I) am exceedingly friendly, but less sociable {consistently}.


    And yet…most of my closest friends are I’s.


    What about you?

    Do you tend to socialize more with one group? E’s or I’s? Are you drawn to one type more, romantically?

    Have you observed the social dynamics I mentioned above (initially friendly = ultimately less 'sociable' / initially colder = ultimately more 'sociable'?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Verona's Avatar
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    I tend to socialize more with Es. I think it is because they tend to put in more of the effort and organize things. I love my friends but I could just hang out with my husband and my kids for weeks and be perfectly content. I prefer to have an I partner.

    I wonder if initially warm people might be Fe users? I find I can come across very warm at times and very cold and awkward at times. I am quite inconsistent.
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  3. #3
    The Unwieldy Clawed One Falcarius's Avatar
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    Falcaris is a bunch of contradictions in regard of introversion and extroversion, while he considers himself reflective and evaluates everything internally there is a big part of him that really enjoys people dinosaurs and would rather spend time with many others than on his own or having one-on-one conversations. He finds it emotionally draining having one-on-one conversations compared to group conversations. He finds it challenging making small talk with one person and not getting really anxious when there is silence, while in a group he bounce ideas off another and there is no burden of keeping a topic alive; hence why he comes across as cold to some and not others depending what sort of setting then normally encounter him.

    Falcarius is the kind person dinosaur who would avoid going to a party if he did not know many others there well. But, if he was convinced to go then he would more than likely really enjoy himself and become friends with lots of other people dinosaurs. Falcarius generally will open up to other people dinosaurs easily but it takes a while for him to trust someone. But good luck trying to maintain a friendship, he is so wrapped up in his own life to even contemplate maintaining friendships.

    Most of Falcarius closes friends are extroverts, as he tends to be selective on who he really let into his life without bringing out his Batfink like "wings that are like a shield of steel". Therefore, most introverts do not have patience nor persistence to really get to know him on an emotional level.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thalassa View Post
    Oh our 3rd person reference to ourselves denotes nothing more than we realize we are epic characters on the forum.

    Narcissism, plain and simple.
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  4. #4
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    In reading that article in the OP, I'm quite smack in the middle of introversion and extroversion. I do think before I speak, and believe I mostly always have (except I think when I was very very young). And I do filter things and contemplate a lot; I don't typically figure things out by 'putting things out there' and figuring out on the fly / in the moment. Pretty much all of that is done internally.

    However, I totally get restless and bored if I'm on my own too long. I have a strong need to interact with my environment and it's a very real issue I can have, of becoming really ancy and rather depressed if I'm by myself at home for more than a day or two.

    Regarding talking, I am totally NOT a pontificator. I don't do that at all, and never have. I'm more interactive. I hate monologuing and don't do it.

    I think it depends on the setting and probably my mood, in terms of how I come across. I don't think I normally come across as 'warm' -- I definitely don't come across as warm in a public setting and with random strangers. I think I am pretty nice with people I know, though. But I am pretty opposite the 'warm' engaging prompting stereotype of Fe. I think I can come across as stand-offish and possibly cool initially, until I decide I actually want to engage deeper with the person? I am not one to be effusive or super demonstrative with smiles and encouraging words. I think as I'm typing this, if there is any sense of expectation or some social 'dance' of pleasantries, I don't partake well in that. But if it's chill, relaxed, feels natural and not forced to me, I'm much more apt to be conversational and comfortable chatting with someone.

    Socializing -- prob my ideal social moments have been small groups of 3-6, dinner parties or playing games, all around the same table. Or sitting around a campfire with people. I don't feel in the spotlight in terms of having to engage solely 1:1 with someone, but can listen to other people chat and I can throw in a comment now and then. I enjoy those situations so much.

    I think most of my friends are introverts, but they're all pretty ambiverted; none are extreme introverts, and they all have pretty big networks of people/friends. Actually I think the main commonality with my closest friends are that they are all either so-dom or so-aux.

    Significant other's type --- bleh. I throw my hands in the air on this one, no idea, doesn't matter. I mean I like who I like, and am drawn to some people and repelled by others, but I don't think mbti is too relevant at this juncture. Historically, it's mostly been with extroverts, or very extroverted introverts.
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  5. #5
    corona Hawthorne's Avatar
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    Ambiverted but I relate to the friendly but less sociable version slightly more. Can play the role of either pretty well. Drained by people i don't want to be around and the reverse for the ones I do. Doubt that's anything special though.

    Tend to draw, be drawn to, and get along better with extroverts. Especially Pe extroverts. Have only been involved with extroverts.
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  6. #6
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawthorne View Post
    Tend to draw, be drawn to, and get along better with extroverts. Especially Pe extroverts. Have only been involved with extroverts.
    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so

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  7. #7
    Anamolic Amalgamation Forever's Avatar
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    I think extroverts are definitely easier to talk to. Although it's only with introverts had I had anything deep. Yet some introverts are kind of dull. And some extroverts are just superficial with everything no conversation could be enjoyable.

    Introverts could be regarded as vampires of society a good portion of them (including me) wants others to initiate contact with us. And then hope they talk to us enough before we start initiating contact back with other people.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpatrol View Post
    When I first came to this site I was under the misunderstanding that I versus E had to do with “energy around people”. Glad to have been corrected of that.


    This is of the best, basic descriptions I have come across on extraversion/introversion.

    I don't care for that explanation of the differences between E and I, mostly because the "real world" can also be understood as the things we can see, touch, taste, smell and hear, which of course, would be the Sensing dimension of personality type.

    I prefer this explanation:
    "Extraverts' energy is directed primarily outward, towards people and things outside of themselves. Introverts' energy is primarily directed inward, towards their own thoughts, perceptions, and reactions. Therefore, Extraverts tend to be more naturally active, expressive, social, and interested in many things, whereas Introverts tend to be more reserved, private, cautious, and interested in fewer interactions, but with greater depth and focus."
    [from ]PersonalityType.com - 404

    I'm not sure that I agree that you had a "misunderstanding" about E and I, except that it is not ONLY about "energy around people".
    If a person is trying to discern whether they are an E or an I, one thing to look at is whether being around other people spends their energy or re-energizes them.
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  9. #9
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpatrol View Post
    [COLOR="#800080"]...
    What about you?

    Do you tend to socialize more with one group? E’s or I’s? Are you drawn to one type more, romantically?

    Have you observed the social dynamics I mentioned above (initially friendly = ultimately less 'sociable' / initially colder = ultimately more 'sociable'?
    I am an INTJ.

    I think I tend to prefer other "I" types as close friends. I don't mind being wild and crazy with an "E" for one night, but once every 5 years is enough for me.
    I am attracted to some "E" types as friends because I get motivated by their energy, but I need a lot of time alone, so I don't think I could be married to an E.
    I don't think they would appreciate me wanting to be alone so much.

    I have not observed the dynamics you described above, but I get the impression I don't size people up as quickly as you do.
    You remind me of my INFP sister. You're probably a lot more intuitive about people than I am.
    When I meet someone, I'm trying to figure out their type so that I can "speak their language", avoid misunderstandings, get along better, etc,
    but I tend to avoid coming to any conclusions.
    There's a lot more to people's motivations than just MBTI. There's the whole Enneagram thing, for one.

    Then again, *I* might be one of those people who seems friendly at first, but is not actually very sociable.
    I tend to be drawn to strangers, newcomers, lonely people... anyone who looks like they need a friend.
    In the short-term, I may come across as warm and friendly, but in the long term, I'm actually very private.
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  10. #10
    Egad! No bondage! Obfuscate's Avatar
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    i get along well with nearly everyone, with agressive extroverts being the primary exception... i tend to seek out introverts, while extroverts find me...

    as for your observations i am not sure... i actively avoid typing most of the people i know... it is the sort of thing i think about after years of knowing someone...
    "The vanity of intelligence is that the intelligent man is often more committed to 'one-upping' his opponent than being truthful. When the idea of intelligence, rather than intelligence itself, becomes a staple, there is no wisdom in it."
    Criss Jami

    "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
    "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving."
    Dale Carnegie
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