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  1. #1
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    Default Portrait of an ESFJ, by me.

    I'm attempting to rewire how the typology community thinks about SFJs. Here are just bits and pieces of what I'm working on. Sorry if it's a bit choppy; again, this isn't complete. Let me know how I can adjust and change things.

    Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

    ESFJs take great joy in their connections with others. Most ESFJ descriptions only focus on immediate, practical relationships. While they are certainly very caring individuals, drawing a great deal of satisfaction from friends, family, and lovers, it cannot be ignored that they are quite often interested in people on a global level. They are passionate people who take their values very seriously. Because of this, it is the ESFJ who spots an injustice and then takes action to correct it. They use their people focus to rally others to join their cause. Activist groups are most likely disproportionately comprised of ESFJs.
    Righteous anger is a feeling ESFJs know well. When they see something that crosses one of their values (something incorrectly attributed to IxFPs) they are driven to speak out against it. Less mature ESFJs may have trouble letting things go or accepting that some people may never change their ways. Perhaps this is where the stereotype of non-individualistic values comes from. ESFJs are so passionate about what they believe is right that they may accidentally tread on an another person's alternative perspective, especially if they see this perspective as unjust. They genuinely want to be tolerant people, and usually consider themselves to be, but they are often blind to the fact that they can actually be closed-minded in their efforts to be good.

    Example: An ESFJ lives with a friend with opposite opinions on certain key issues. When the news comes on, she makes a political comment, and her friend disagrees. They get into a long-winded, emotional debate that ultimately leads nowhere; the conservative friend simply views things differently. The ESFJ has become upset. Issues are of utmost importance to her, and it hurts that the world can't live up to how she envisions it to be. If she had been healthier, she could have been able to separate her passion from the issue at hand and discuss it more objectively, along with understanding that not every little "injustice" can be conquered in a moment.

    ESFJs are interested in people, and enjoy utilizing creative ideas and opportunities to inspire others. A school-aged ESFJ might stick kind notes on people's lockers or, if they are a bit more rebellious (a trait not exclusive to P types), engage in things like "inspirational vandalism." They want to change the world they live in. When they put their minds to it, they can be some of the most influential people of their time.

    An ESFJ's Fe also has a personal, internal side to it. It's common for an ESFJ to deal with overemotionality. Fe is an expansive function that can be easily influenced by outside data, other people, and personal impressions. It also needs to be expressed. Some ESFJs may turn to creative pursuits as an outlet; many of today's singers and actors may be Fe-Si types. They are not as superficial as they are portrayed. Many ESFJs are self-aware and spend time finding out who they are. The search for oneself is not limited to Fi types. In fact, it is common of an Fe user to want their outer appearance to be in accordance with their inner appearance, or "show the world who they really are." After all, Fe seeks data and communication with the outside world. Unhealthy ESFJs may be moody, whiny, or even typical "angsty drama queens" (as INFPs are stereotyped to be).

    ESFJs do best when they are able to bounce their thoughts, ideas, and feelings off others. They're often very expressive, enthusiastic, and open people. Some say ESFJs are bold with their feelings, as they might not mind sharing themselves with strangers. Others may view them as strikingly honest about their feelings. This mode of openness is natural to a confident ESFJ.



    I'm tired and this is all I can do for now. Extended Fe, Si, Ne, and Ti descriptions to come.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
    Released the controls, you would open my eyes
    That somehow, all of this mess
    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
    .

    Mercury - Sleeping At Last

    3w2 // 6w7 // 9w1
    Likes Chanaynay, Cloudpatrol, Haven, ESFJ, Flâneuse and 7 others liked this post

  2. #2
    untitled Chanaynay's Avatar
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    oh hey this is awesome! it's been really cool watching your journey of self-discovery and seeing you try to create some change. i feel like a proud father

    7w6 - 2w3 - 8w7 sx/so


  3. #3
    Awake Starry's Avatar
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    Oh hell yah @themightyfetus. A true pioneer. I totally stand in awe of you right now. Finally, someone makes the first move in correcting one of MBTI's biggest problems. You are amazing.



    I've been wanting so badly to ask this question to the 4-5 SFJs on this forum...or at the very least toss it into the ring for consideration.


    SFJs are very multi-faceted and have a lot of layers that tend to go unacknowledged/unnoticed and I have been wondering why. Like, do you guys knowingly hide them? That's at least the sense I've always gotten from it. Almost like you try to push them to the side in order to maybe facilitate relationships? <-I don't know...that's all just speculation. But you guys go a hell of a lot deeper than you are willing to show it seems...again knowingly or unknowingly... and that's a mystery to me. I don't think people see this because you guys don't let them.
    Walk first through the fire.


    *Currently participating in the "No Likes" experiment.
    Likes Chanaynay, themightyfetus, Masokissed liked this post

  4. #4
    metamorphosing Flâneuse's Avatar
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    It's good to finally read an ESFJ profile that counters the stereotypes, especially the misunderstanding that they are usually sheep to traditional values and roles. I see this domino effect of misunderstanding and confusion about types and functions, that starts when people think they can't be a certain type because that type is [insert simplistic and unflattering stereotype here], so they mistype (for xSFJs, xxFP is a common mistype), and then talk about their experiences as the type they think they are, leading to certain behaviors and thought patterns being falsely attributed to types for which they're not really common at all (like the idea that most unhealthy INFPs are blatant drama queens), leading to more confusion and mistypings.

    I only know one ESFJ well in real life (a close friend since childhood), and while she is nurturing, motherly, and quite the social butterfly like the "typical" ESFJ, she has always been the type to question what she was told (especially the bigoted beliefs her fundamentalist parents tried to instill in her) and seems to value being humane and loving (and loved because she's an e2) above all else and will reject an idea or attitude, even if it's accepted by society or by most people she's close to, if it goes against being humane and kind.

    Quote Originally Posted by themightyfetus View Post
    Most ESFJ descriptions only focus on immediate, practical relationships. While they are certainly very caring individuals, drawing a great deal of satisfaction from friends, family, and lovers, it cannot be ignored that they are quite often interested in people on a global level.
    Yes, this counters one of the biggest misconceptions about ESFJs IMO. I think the idea that ESFJs are only focused on the immediate, even when it comes to how far their compassion extends, is part of why many ESFJs see themselves as ENFPs.

    Righteous anger is a feeling ESFJs know well. When they see something that crosses one of their values (something incorrectly attributed to IxFPs) they are driven to speak out against it.
    From what I've seen this is fairly common for both ESFJs and xxFPs. I have seen it incorrectly get exclusively attributed to xxFPs, as though only Fi types are willing to stand up for their values and Fe types just want harmony at all costs. IMHO how a Feeler responds to their personal values being crossed is more easily correlated with enneagram type rather than Fe vs. Fi, with more assertive or reactive types like e4, e6 and e1 more likely to forcefully speak up and more passive types (especially e9) more likely to either speak up in a gentler (less likely to cause conflict) way, silently write off the other person, or even become passive-aggressive out of anger.
    lust for comfort suffocates the soul

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  5. #5
    You are what you love themightyfetus's Avatar
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    Si, Ne, and Ti explanations to come. Then I'll move on to the ISFJs.
    Yet I know, if I stepped aside
    Released the controls, you would open my eyes
    That somehow, all of this mess
    Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
    .

    Mercury - Sleeping At Last

    3w2 // 6w7 // 9w1

  6. #6

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    I feel like you wrote a description of my father. He tested as an ESFJ but for a while I thought he might be an ENxP or ExFP because he didn't match the descriptions describing ESFJs as boring traditionalists.
    Likes themightyfetus liked this post

  7. #7

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    I'd like to see descriptions of N types written from the perspective of an S type, as it seems many are written by Ns. The last S type I can remember writing these was Arendee.

    If that's something you feel like tackling once you've finished with your current projects...
    Likes Reborn Relic, themightyfetus, Dreamer liked this post

  8. #8
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    i know several ESFJs that don't fit the ESFJ mold although that's probably why i know them.
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