Learned Fe

[miss fortune]

From observation of people on this forum, I have seen several members who seem to have almost taught themselves to use Fe to a much greater degree than they probably naturally would use it. I'll admit to having taught myself to be a lot nicer and more diplomatic than I was when younger, because it gets me my way and wins arguments more frequently.

I was just wondering about others' inputs-

why would you develop a trait that you would not naturally use as much?

what are the benefits of this?

does it ever feel like it was a learned, as opposed to natural, trait?

 

[SillySapienne]

Learned Fe

WHYYYYYY!!!!

:horor:

 

[Valiant]

I do it a lot in real life, and I think it can be learned. Because I did, and it is in no way natural to me or my general way of being.


why would you develop a trait that you would not naturally use as much?

Comfort. Fe enables me to avoid unpleasant situation because of my natural affinity for being a mean asshole.


what are the benefits of this?

Obvious.


does it ever feel like it was a learned, as opposed to natural, trait?

Definitely. I hate bad situations where i'm the underdog, thus I evolved this as a kid when dealing with adults and older kids.
But it's just a learned behavior.

 

[Little Linguist]

From observation of people on this forum, I have seen several members who seem to have almost taught themselves to use Fe to a much greater degree than they probably naturally would use it. I'll admit to having taught myself to be a lot nicer and more diplomatic than I was when younger, because it gets me my way and wins arguments more frequently.

I was just wondering about others' inputs-

why would you develop a trait that you would not naturally use as much?

what are the benefits of this?

does it ever feel like it was a learned, as opposed to natural, trait?

Life told me that if you don't learn Fe, you're f*cked.

 

[Tallulah]

I think it's just a natural thing to learn to be more well-rounded. Long before I discovered MBTI and knew what to call the different functions, I had discovered that there were certain things that didn't come naturally to me, but that I needed to develop/pay attention to, if I wanted to be around people.

For me, anyway, the idea is to accept the way I naturally am, while developing traits that allow me to understand and interact with others more smoothly. I can't imagine just saying "Welp, this is the way I am, take it or leave it."

I would think if someone was incredibly strong on the Fi scale, they would almost have to develop some Fe, or come across as extremely judgmental.

 

[Kora]

Fe is necessary for relating to the vast majority of people. Things that you need, maybe for applying for a job, for having people on your side for support you on your ideas... Yes, Fe it's a very good way of making people think you're a decent human being, so it's easier to 'use' others.

I use my Fe for giving a good impression and having more people on my side, and I learned thanks to my Ti-Ne axis. I just 'mimmick' attitudes and learn etiquette. It's not that bad, and well, it has some use.

 

[Little Linguist]

Ironically, Fe did not come naturally to me either. After I learned it through life experience and mimicking other people, like Kora said, it's become my fourth strongest trait according to cognitive function tests. This was DEFINITELY NOT the case when I was younger. If anything I think my Fe function took over the Te function....

 

[Jack Flak]

Fe is necessary for relating to the vast majority of people. Things that you need, maybe for applying for a job, for having people on your side for support you on your ideas... Yes, Fe it's a very good way of making people think you're a decent human being, so it's easier to 'use' others.

I use my Fe for giving a good impression and having more people on my side, and I learned thanks to my Ti-Ne axis. I just 'mimmick' attitudes and learn etiquette. It's not that bad, and well, it has some use.

Yeah, mimicry is the INTP's Fe. It has its strengths and weaknesses.

Real Fe is saved for once about every two years when I actually give a shit about something.

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Fe is just as necessary as Te sometimes.

 

[disregard]

It pleases me to use Fe when it's unexpected and to withhold it when it's expected (IRL).

I suppose I like to keep people on their toes.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

I've always known how to work crowds. I'm sensitive to it and it comes naturally to me. In fact, the more I think about it, the worse I do. It's my moment of Zen. I think it has to do with listening to people. Sometimes I think I should have been an ESTP, but God didn't make me an ESTP. He made me a stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut.

Holy fucking shit I'm going apeshit. LOL

 

[Simplexity]

Heck yeah. I think sometimes its a trial by fire thing. In short bursts I can feign Fe, but I get exposed in large crowds,if the situation calls for intricate knowledge, or complex(hectic) situations.

Seriously, though, when I was younger I was basically in a group environment my whole life because of soccer. twenty plus guys on each team I was on, multiple tournies, multiple teams, and lots of trophy celebrations and speeches since I was that nice(more accurately my teams were).

I guess part of the reason was also because I was sort of a defacto leader. Most good athletes are very cocky, selfish, self-centered and off putting and I was, by nature quiet and deflective of attention. I did learn to ramp up my Ne though to handle group dynamics.

I would always feel bad because my connections were only skin deep. Off the field a lot of guys would try and talk to me to forge a deeper friendship but it was as if I could only compartmentalize. I was also severely retarded and didn't take advantage of the "groupie" effect from sports(no cocky) but yeah... typical INTP was absolutely shy, nervous and retarded when it came to girls. My Fe is still relatively weak in that regard even now.

 

[proteanmix]

I just want to point out that this "learned" Fe people speak of is different from someone who uses it as their dominant function and it usually manifests itself differently. Me using my Ti doesn't look the same as a Ti dominant and a INFP using Ti looks different from both an ISTP and ENFJ.

So when people say "learned Fe" it would be helpful to make this distinction. I really think that some of this learned Fe causes people to mistype others as evil ESFJs.

 

[miss fortune]

quite true Protean- my sister is a natural Fe-dom (ENFJ) and she displays her natural Fe quite differently from my learned (or should I say "socially necissary") Fe.

For one thing, she actually CARES about things, and does so deeply, while I'm merely nice because honey draws more flies than vinegar. For another thing, I can't manage to get as worked up about things as she manages to (NEVER anger an ENFJ, I learned)- which goes back to the point that, at the core I just don't really have the whole caring thing in me.

Learned Fe, or fake Fe, to me is just what I use when selling things, getting people to do things like change my license plate or a free upgrade on coffee size and making sure that the police officer won't pull out his billy club. My sis's natural Fe is a force of nature- there's no stopping it really :horor:

 

[INTJMom]

...
...I'm merely nice because honey draws more flies than vinegar.
...

Precisely why I work on my Fe.
That, and tired of being shunned by society and not having any friends.

 

[disregard]

But who needs flies.

 

[miss fortune]

But who needs flies.

those of us who sell things for a living...

 

[Tallulah]

quite true Protean- my sister is a natural Fe-dom (ENFJ) and she displays her natural Fe quite differently from my learned (or should I say "socially necissary") Fe.

For one thing, she actually CARES about things, and does so deeply, while I'm merely nice because honey draws more flies than vinegar. For another thing, I can't manage to get as worked up about things as she manages to (NEVER anger an ENFJ, I learned)- which goes back to the point that, at the core I just don't really have the whole caring thing in me.

Learned Fe, or fake Fe, to me is just what I use when selling things, getting people to do things like change my license plate or a free upgrade on coffee size and making sure that the police officer won't pull out his billy club. My sis's natural Fe is a force of nature- there's no stopping it really :horor:

This is a really good description. That's how I use it, too--I am really naturally sensitive to others' feelings, but I don't have that driving need to CARE for others like a Fe dom would. I think I probably seem like I have a good amount of Fe, though. I just can't keep it up 24/7. People just seem so NEEDY to me.

 

[disregard]

Ah.. When someone has my regard, I use far less Fe.

I often use it to keep someone at an emotional distance. If I don't trust them. Or if I'm feeling them out.

 

[Night]

From observation of people on this forum, I have seen several members who seem to have almost taught themselves to use Fe to a much greater degree than they probably naturally would use it. I'll admit to having taught myself to be a lot nicer and more diplomatic than I was when younger, because it gets me my way and wins arguments more frequently.

I was just wondering about others' inputs-

why would you develop a trait that you would not naturally use as much?

what are the benefits of this?

does it ever feel like it was a learned, as opposed to natural, trait?

Most assuredly.

Ti primary
Fe secondary --> 8w9
Te tertiary



So accounts for an efficient model of communication (insofar as I've had the pleasure of experiencing) with others.

Growing up in a smaller city forced me to make due with those around me; this unavoidable social obstacle (if indeed an obstacle it was/is) made me work things out with others, if I wanted to succeed/enrich my ambition. In retrospect, I'm quite happy that I learned to seek a sense of cooperation, as opposed to competition, with others. This exchange allowed me into areas once foreign, as a result of my sharpened Fe.

Remember - adherence to rules/etiquette does not imply sincerity. Keep this thought in your pocket. People are complex creatures.


Fe functions as a handshake; Te is a clenched fist.