User Tag List

First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 61

Thread: Learned Fe

  1. #31
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    From observation of people on this forum, I have seen several members who seem to have almost taught themselves to use Fe to a much greater degree than they probably naturally would use it. I'll admit to having taught myself to be a lot nicer and more diplomatic than I was when younger, because it gets me my way and wins arguments more frequently.

    I was just wondering about others' inputs-

    why would you develop a trait that you would not naturally use as much?

    what are the benefits of this?

    does it ever feel like it was a learned, as opposed to natural, trait?
    Replying to OP (while only glancing at the rest of the replies). All cognitive functions have their uses. Just a matter of using them in the appropriate ones. The use of Fe (or Fe like behaviour) has its perks. Which is why people, whether it's their dominant or auxiliary function or not, is worth while practicing.

    The point of developing a trait or any skill is to become more proficient at it such that you can apply it when you need it. It is like learning different languages. Your mother tongue might be English, but it doesn't mean you cannot learn fluent Spanish or French. You might not naturally use the two, but when you need to you can. More tools in your belt really.

    I've actually actively try to develop my weaker functions... Mostly Ti, Fi, Se.

    In response to Night and dissonance, a tool is a tool as long as it works. It makes little difference whether you call it Fe or Fi. As long as it gets the job done. Does the distinction between Fe vs Fi matter?

  2. #32
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    567?
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    511

    Default

    A major reason I kick the Fe in gear is that I hate it when others misunderstand something I've said or think I'm incompetent about something because I've worded something badly. I've always been VERY sensitive disproportionate reactions towards me, so I'm very considerate of how I communicate based on who I'm talking to.

    I think I have an unusually high Fe impulse thanks to my mom being an ISFJ and my best friend of 10 years being an ESFJ.

    Now...Se and Te? I dunno how that'll work. I could really use a dosage of Te abilities.

  3. #33
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Posts
    1,387

    Default

    if Fe is in your type then there is no point to learning it, it should come naturally. for example, and ENFJ shouldn't have too much of a problem, and really, neither should an ENTP. BUT, for an ENFP like myself who doesn't have Fe in my top 4 functions, i tend to "create" Fe by using my Ne and Fi to create a synthetic form of Fe. it is not true Fe, just created Fe. (ENFPs CANT have Fe in their main 4 because their main 4 are defined as Ne Fi Te Si, if you take a function test and it says you have Fe, it is getting it confused with Ne mixed with Fi)
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

    "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

    Mahatma Gandhi

    Enneagram: 9w1

  4. #34
    ThatGirl
    Guest

    Default

    I believe that due to my very strong character, I have recieved a lot of F thrown in my face as a defense mechanism from other people. In turn I have learned from an early age that Fe shows humanity and especially vulnerability, stopping some clear destructive paths before they start.

    Unfortunatly the only time I engage my Fe in an unnatural way is when under a lot of preassure. I am usually a self sificent machine of answers and capability, and when I can recongize that I alone am not capable, I must convince others who are convinced that I never need anything, of my motivations, efforts, and end result in order to bring about resolution and not failure. In order to convince people of my genuine concerns I must make myself something they can relate to on their level, because trying to get them to understand mine takes too long. This involves proving that my motivations arent soley for my gain.

    I am not sure if that is Fe or where that pattern came from, but it makes me uncomfortable and it is also easy to fall into because it proves to be efficient. Ill tell you it sucks to be an enthusiastic problem solver sometimes listening to the your so strong and your smart you will find a way to pull it off. For some reason when people see you as capable they meet you with more opposition than necessary. Sucks.

    Is that Fe?

    I guess what I am saying is that it is helpful for cooperation. It is my give.

  5. #35
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENfP
    Enneagram
    8w9 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,219

    Default

    "Channeling" my Ne in a way, through Fe, makes using Fe more comfortable I find. It's definitely something I learned over the years, and now I'm better at it than most other extraverts I know. I actually do enjoy using it because it enables me to be more engaged socially, which makes my E-ness tingle happily. My Fe is pretty damn good, but I'm still an awkward child.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  6. #36
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    Growing up in a smaller city forced me to make due with those around me; this unavoidable social obstacle (if indeed an obstacle it was/is) made me work things out with others, if I wanted to succeed/enrich my ambition. In retrospect, I'm quite happy that I learned to seek a sense of cooperation, as opposed to competition, with others. This exchange allowed me into areas once foreign, as a result of my sharpened Fe.
    Yup. I was in a situation where I was basically alone except for my family (I lived in rural PA, so most of my time was spent either by myself wandering through the fields or else having to survive my crazy mixed-up home situation, I didn't have many friends around at first and even when I was older it was still a lot of effort to make contact).

    My mom is also very Si+Fe and really little else, unfortunately, she could not grasp anything I'd say to her. Life was simply about conforming to how you'd been brought up, and how you treated people. Very kind-hearted; very unable to understand other people's viewpoints. Fe was the only thing she understood. You could explain an idea to her but it would run out of her brain like water through a sieve and she would be immediately right back where she was before any conversation.

    My dad was a brash overbearing alcoholic ESTP. You could never win an argument, he would do his best to make you feel stupid and never truly engage in a discussion, and he would override everyone around him with what he wanted regardless of the impact (because he either was too insensitive to notice or just didn't care when he did). A nice and talented guy in public; but home life was hell. Avoidance was the best policy; Fe was the next, just to keep my nose very clean and give him no excuse to come after me.

    Note that at the same time I was absorbing that ability and honing it, I was also very very frustrated by xSFJ types imposing their social standards on me; it really upset me. It was one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situations. I did not develop Fe-like ability to draw boundaries to PROTECT myself until much later in life.

    Because Fe can also be used to do that, when appropriate. It doesn't just allow you to extend yourself for others, it can be used to determine the extent of how much we let others influence us.

    Remember - adherence to rules/etiquette does not imply sincerity. Keep this thought in your pocket. People are complex creatures.
    Definitely.

    Fe functions as a handshake; Te is a clenched fist.
    Nice image. And the handshake can also cloak a poisoned needle, while the clenched fist might just be extending you money. The approaches are different, but both can be positive or negative and used sincerely or insidiously.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #37
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5/8
    Socionics
    ENTp None
    Posts
    4,754

    Default

    You write very well, Jennifer.

    Very elegant.

  8. #38
    ⒺⓉⒷ Eric B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    548 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    3,440

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I did not develop Fe-like ability to draw boundaries to PROTECT myself until much later in life.

    Because Fe can also be used to do that, when appropriate. It doesn't just allow you to extend yourself for others, it can be used to determine the extent of how much we let others influence us.
    You would think that would be Fi. I guess is it's an external standard you use to draw the boundaries (such as how much it is commonly seen as appropriate for a person to influence another)?
    APS Profile: Inclusion: e/w=1/6 (Supine) |Control: e/w=7/3 (Choleric) |Affection: e/w=1/9 (Supine)
    Ti 54.3 | Ne 47.3 | Si 37.8 | Fe 17.7 | Te 22.5 | Ni 13.4 | Se 18.9 | Fi 27.9

    Temperament (APS) from scratch -- MBTI Type from scratch
    Type Ideas

  9. #39
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eric B View Post
    You would think that would be Fi. I guess is it's an external standard you use to draw the boundaries (such as how much it is commonly seen as appropriate for a person to influence another)?
    yes, that's it.

    I realized that they were being intrusive and it was perfectly acceptable socially for me to draw the boundary and I wasn't actually violating the accepted rule.

    If I move inward to an internal judging process, it tends to be a sense of "it's fair in a relationship for both sides to invest the same amount" or something else that is actually very impersonal and treating the people like objects to be balanced out (parts of an equation).

    I still don't tend to protect my "self" as well as I should, I drain it either by inadvertently ignoring it or expecting too much of my own inner resources, or by trying to conform to a social expectation/responsibility.

    When I try to do something 'for me' just because I want to or feel like doing it, the choice always leaves me uneasy, unsure, confused, and whatever else. it's like trying to drive the car while wearing a blindfold. it's much more instinctive and immediate to see either the general impersonal principle at work (Ti) and apply it or to be aware of the social expectation (Fe) and accommodate it.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #40
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    8,694

    Default

    Fe functions as a handshake; Te is a clenched fist.
    Would that mean that I am a bad person?

    Since my Fe:Te ratio is about 1:13 toward the function test that is going around.

Similar Threads

  1. [Fe] Fe=but I want it now!
    By LavaLucy in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 03-01-2016, 03:28 PM
  2. [Fe] Fe oddness
    By sculpting in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 04-05-2009, 11:47 PM
  3. [Fe] Does Fe do indifference?
    By Kalach in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 03-08-2009, 10:09 PM
  4. [Fe] IxFP and the creative Fe
    By 527468 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 02-03-2009, 07:02 PM
  5. [Fe] Fe: No cute title...I just don't get it
    By sakuraba in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 106
    Last Post: 11-18-2008, 09:07 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO