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  1. #1
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Default How to Go from Introvert to Extrovert

    Aah. Now that I've got your attention with this title, I'll reference where it's from. Ever read Steve Pavlina's Blog?

    How to Go From Introvert to Extrovert

    Here he claims how he was originally an INTJ and "turned into" an extravert. What is your take?

    Personally, I think he (as a young INTJ) placed an incredibly high value on people; relationships, interaction, etc. and decided it was a skill to master. So because it's such a major value to him, he's "mastered" it and now thinks he's an extravert.


    Anyone else with thoughts?
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  2. #2
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Gee, he makes it sound like introversion is a Bad Thing.

    Isn't the difference between introversion and extroversion where you draw your energy from? I can be very extroverted and I can be very introverted, but ultimately I need my Nat Time to recharge and be fit for human consumption again. I don't "hold back" when I socialize, as he suggests those of us failing at extroversion do. I have no problem being social; but I prefer to do it on my own schedule.

    He sounds to me like an INTJ who decided he wanted to be good at extroversion. Like when I decided to learn about photography, or snorkelling, or hormones.

    I ain't buying what he's selling.

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  3. #3
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Gee, he makes it sound like introversion is a Bad Thing.
    You should read the beginning of The Happy Introvert. Common definitions of "happiness" include being outgoing, open, talkative, involved--happiness is equated with extroversion!
    Isn't the difference between introversion and extroversion where you draw your energy from?
    Yes, it is.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

  4. #4
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    Aah. Now that I've got your attention with this title, I'll reference where it's from. Ever read Steve Pavlina's Blog?

    How to Go From Introvert to Extrovert

    Here he claims how he was originally an INTJ and "turned into" an extravert. What is your take?

    Personally, I think he (as a young INTJ) placed an incredibly high value on people; relationships, interaction, etc. and decided it was a skill to master. So because it's such a major value to him, he's "mastered" it and now thinks he's an extravert.


    Anyone else with thoughts?
    I was HOPING this was the kind of thing you were going to discuss! Whew!

    Yeah, I agree. He's cultivated extraverted skills.

    I also wonder if he was shy as well, though. I've met shy extroverts.

    Huh--the comments on that blog posting are interesting as well.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

  5. #5
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rivercrow View Post
    You should read the beginning of The Happy Introvert. Common definitions of "happiness" include being outgoing, open, talkative, involved--happiness is equated with extroversion!
    I read the free pages, thanks, crowsie.

    Meh. Fortunately (for me, maybe not them) I'm beyond caring what other people think I should be in order to be happy.

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  6. #6
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    Finding MBTI was my first step in realizing that there was nothing wrong with me because I was quiet, inward, not touchy-feely, and still (mostly) happy. Three of my four siblings are EXTREME extroverts, and my younger brother and I often feel that we're not as much fun as they are. Oh, well.

    To my parents' credit they never made me feel inferior for being introverted, but since when do people listen to their parents?
    The one who buggers a fire burns his penis
    -anonymous graffiti in the basilica at Pompeii

  7. #7
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I dunno, I don't think it's a good thing to deliberately try to change yourself, unless it's something you want, you believe in, self-improvement rather than just trying to fit in more or live up to others' expectations.

    I know that the simplest explanation of how to change from I to E, is simply to give more emphasis and playing room to your secondary function, until you gradually allow it to take over. I know that I used to behave very much like a profile INTP, but in recent years, in hindsight, I can see clearly that gradually increased social activity and external action/influence meant that in order to step up to the challenges, I had to swap Ti and Ne round, then Si and Fe followed suit and swapped too.

    To start with it was a difficult and painful learning curve, but now I wouldn't be any other way, and I feel like I've become more truly myself than ever before. If I tell people I meet nowadays that I used to be painfully shy and very quiet and socially unconfident, I have to produce witnesses to back it up because they simply don't believe me and laugh out loud.

    But I don't think this is because being an extravert is inherently better. It's more likely that I was always of an extraverted inclination anyway, but through circumstances, forced to introvert myself. All that's happened is that, rather than changing, I've just quit repressing myself and allowed myself to be who I always was anyway. And I think that's just because my life circumstances finally became more favourable to actually being myself, as opposed to previously where I had to introvert to survive, and as an extravert I just wouldn't have been tolerated.

    I do think it's important for I's to know how to E, and vice versa, but I don't see any point in trying to become the other, unless you're not happy as you are and are reasonably sure that this sort of thing is at the root of it.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    Isn't the difference between introversion and extroversion where you draw your energy from? I can be very extroverted and I can be very introverted, but ultimately I need my Nat Time to recharge and be fit for human consumption again. I don't "hold back" when I socialize, as he suggests those of us failing at extroversion do. I have no problem being social; but I prefer to do it on my own schedule.
    Exactly. If I am in the right mood and I am with the right people, I can be the life of the party, but it has to be on my terms. And I have no plans on cultivating my E so I am always extroverted. That would be exhausting.
    "My good opinion once lost is lost forever." -- Darcy

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I'm just not convinced one could change a foundational aspect of themselves. We can acquire new behavior, yes, but we can't change our wiring.

    It's like saying we can change a VW Beetle into a Lambourghini by stripping down everything and rebuilding on the frame. The frame is different, thus the inherent foundation of the car is different; no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to make the sports car out of the Beetle. You might be able to install some similar gadgets, or paint the car a similar color, and otherwise add accessories, making them similar, but the two cars are fundamentally different.

    Considering the E/I thing seems to be a function of how we are wired brain-wise and nervous-system-wise, unless you get a whole new body, you won't be truly changing how the old one works even if you layer some new behavior skills over top the old wiring. The old wiring remains the same.

    For me, I can extrovert decently in the right situation... but even time spent where I look completely happy and extroverted drains me energy-wise, and suddenly it's like a switch was thrown, people seem surprised when I suddenly need to leave and go be alone in order to recuperate. I've developed some extroverting skills, but I'm still an introvert. (Just like an extrovert can learn to "go inside themselves" and be alone... but only for periods of time before they need to come out again.)

    Diversifying like this is part of maturity, not a change of personality.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I think I agree with you Jennifer. That's why I lean more towards the explanation of my having always been a repressed extravert, rather than having fundamentally changed - because I don't feel like I've tried to shove round pegs into square holes with myself as I am now - I feel like that's how I used to be, but now it's more like I've quit trying to tack Labourghini parts onto a VW Beetle frame, and am getting closer to being 100% official parts by the week!

    Well, reason I say "I think I agree" is because this is all very well until I read my journals from way back, and I see a person that I just cannot relate to, who I can't believe was me and wouldn't if I didn't recognise the handwriting!!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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