The Ni+Fe combo is definitely good at figuring out an appropriate system for context and personalities and going with that one. Si digs in its feet against all outsiders.
If you can't be there, that's okay... but call.
And if you can't call, then you'd better be there.
Tough luck on the shopping stop -- tell the princess to suck it up and go later.
Yeah, I wait for a pattern to show up. But if someone has a pattern of breaking engagements, I don't like to schedule with them anymore. Like you say with all the chances, I do the same, I'm flexible and understanding ... until something happens over and over and it's clear they're not making an effort to be respectful of my time and friendship.She's called twice and I've let the machine pick up. I've emailed back our news but haven't made plans to see her. When she tells me "I've set aside such and such a time to see you" I'll consider it. So, to answer the OP, I don't write people off for no reason. I give them many chances.
Are they people you work with directly?There are two people at my new job (not management) who go out to lunch together every day and they've never once asked me to join them. They also get take-out coffee, but only for each other; the one time I asked if I could get in on that, it was done most reluctantly. These behaviors make me dislike and resent them.
If it's just two people who I don't interact with daily, I'm less bothered.
If it's people I work with directly and they always blow me off and never once extend an offer, I'd view it as a more personal issue.
(i.e., "Do they have to purposefully exclude me to not invite me?")
The people here are pretty good about that, they usually ask if anyone wants to do the lunch thing even tho I rarely go because of lack of money for that.