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  1. #1

    Default How can I stop feeling sad about being a sensor?

    Initially, I became very interested in type theory when I thought I was an INFP. When I was younger, I'd always dreamt of being a writer. I was okay at school with a horrendous attention span, barely made any friends and developed serious social anxiety, etc. daydreamed constantly with some pretty varied themes about fictional characters and my own characters...

    Somehow INFP just didnt feel right. The description of Ne was an explosion of ideas. They made INFPs out to be geniuses, almost as good as the other Ne-doms and able to solve any puzzle but with the use of Ne instead of Ni. I thought "Really? That can't be me, can it?"

    For a while, thinking I was among the intuitives, I was pretty high on life. My self confidence soared. I put all my energy into trying to write a book...and was struggling to find ideas. I had a few, but most of the ones I came up with were stolen. I became obsessed with trying to determine my abilities. I took a random IQ test online (I know, I know, "IQ tests online aren't completely reliable", but this one seemed pretty legitimate) and I did...okay. I got stuck on several problems, stressed that I wasn't a real intuitive because I couldn't come up with any further answers.

    There was an itch in the back of my head which I believe is my inferior Ti. The desire for the truth. I kept searching for the perfect Marc in terms of MBTI...and realized I was never a Fi Dom all along. No, I'm a sensor.

    And not just any sensor...a "guardian" or "giver" type. At least I could've had the talent of a Se-dom, but that seems to escape me. it hit me like a bunch of bricks: My talent is my low self esteem. I hate myself so much and don't trust my abilities that I try to be as nice as possible. After seeing that I still get rejected by other people, I thought "maybe I'm not like other people. Maybe I'm meant to be more intellectually minded. To focus on things other than my relationships with people...or in this case lack thereof"

    Its sad, isn't it? My strengths in this sense are my weakness and are the reason I feel like I'm eternally doomed to never truly live a fulfilling life.

    I know this is completely melodramatic and eye-rolling, but I have no where else to turn to in order to seek advice. I know many of you probably hate the fact that I am dumping on this type; hell, I'd love to be an ESFJ if I could actually make friends. If I could be a great Fe-dom. But I'm not. :/ MBTI showed me I have no strengths whatsoever. and I should just give up on the dream of being a writer, or a creative type, because how the hell can I compete with the genius of Se, Ne, and Ni doms?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Smilephantomhive's Avatar
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    i have lots I could say, but just know that mbti is not about abilities, but about attitudes and mindset, and focus towards life.

    Oh yeah, keep in mind I am ISTJ, did poor on the Divergent thinking test, but I am still considering possible becoming/slash adding a creative writing major. And ISTJs are supposed to be the most left brained, least creative types in the whole entire universe, In reality I just create in a different way than Ne.
    "Avoid getting too preoccupied thinking about what you’re going to do, to actually do it."
    — Rachel Wolchin

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    Likes Dreamer, highlander, Mayflower, Frosty liked this post

  3. #3
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    Self pity serves no one least of all yourself. I think you're attributing far to much value to your type AKA 4 letters that symbolize absolutely nothing of any real value.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Smilephantomhive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilephantomhive View Post
    i have lots I could say, but just know that mbti is not about abilities, but about attitudes and mindset, and focus towards life.

    Oh yeah, keep in mind I am ISTJ, did poor on the Divergent thinking test, but I am still considering possible becoming/slash adding a creative writing major. And ISTJs are supposed to be the most left brained, least creative types in the whole entire universe, In reality I just create in a different way than Ne.
    I have felt the same way as you before. You thinking this way shows that you have low self esteem and are taking mbti too seriously as Atomic has alluded to below me. I would try and think of your strengths and self in a non mbti way, before you continue on your mbti journey.
    "Avoid getting too preoccupied thinking about what you’re going to do, to actually do it."
    — Rachel Wolchin

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  5. #5
    Original™ Forever's Avatar
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    Don't use ESFJ as a bad placeholder or expectations of what is meant to be for one's life, any type can be great or terrible.

    I would suggest learning to be an optimist rather than a pessimist, it may not be as cool as a realist, but at least your life is >>>>> better than it was before.

    Again:

    Your Online Manic Pixie Dream Girl

    What is a manic pixie dream girl?

    It refers to "that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures." A pretty, outgoing, whacky romantic lead whose sole purpose is to help broody male characters lighten up and enjoy their lives.
    Likes Crystal Winter Dream liked this post

  6. #6
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    what is a sensor?

  7. #7
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilephantomhive View Post
    i have lots I could say, but just know that mbti is not about abilities, but about attitudes and mindset, and focus towards life.

    Oh yeah, keep in mind I am ISTJ, did poor on the Divergent thinking test, but I am still considering possible becoming/slash adding a creative writing major. And ISTJs are supposed to be the most left brained, least creative types in the whole entire universe, In reality I just create in a different way than Ne.
    What is life?

  8. #8
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    What is sadness?

  9. #9

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    @Forever I know you mean well...but really, I am actually doomed as an ESFJ. I desire the thing I can never have: strong relationships. I've chased after this my entire life only to no avail. ESFJ's are known for their ability to cultivate fulfilling relationships, and that gives them happiness. Meanwhile, I just end up with some pretty abusive folks in my life. I thought I would be happier getting some hobbies, but then I keep getting reminded I'm not really good enough for any of those things...

    Quote Originally Posted by Smilephantomhive
    I have felt the same way as you before. You thinking this way shows that you have low self esteem and are taking mbti too seriously as Atomic has alluded to below me. I would try and think of your strengths and self in a non mbti way, before you continue on your mbti journey.
    I'm sorry, but what strengths? The only strength I have is that I can be a huge pushover. I have none of the charismatic abilities of a true Fe-dom, funny enough. I'm this weirdly made sad ESFJ/INTP hybrid without any of the strengths of the 4 cognitive factors.

    Quote Originally Posted by entropie
    what is life?
    It sucks. And sensors are people too dumb to join intuitive land.

  10. #10
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

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