[Fe] The ENFJ/ESFJ Types and Projection

[Mal12345]

There is an old aphorism that I see proved to be true every day of my life: If all you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail.

The ENFJ/ESFJ types are the most prone to melodramatic thinking. So they try to inject their melodrama into every situation when there wasn't any to begin with.

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players," where the ESFJ/ENFJ are the directors and even masters of the stage.

The world to an ESFJ/ENFJ:

 

[Mal12345]

How to inject melodrama into politics

An example of melodramatic political thinking (quoted from an adult female, so "hear" it with a high-pitched voice):

"I'm incensed that a man who couldn't be bothered to serve his country in the military wants to toss out Dreamers who do. Yes, DACA protects people who were brought here as children who love America so much that they've put themselves in harm's way to serve in the military. Unlike Trump, they don't have any obligation to this country -- they serve because they love America. I wish the president could find it in his heart to imitate them. But, of course, first he'd have to get a heart."

Of course, it's all about the heart.

 

[Tilt]

There is an old aphorism that I see proved to be true every day of my life: If all you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail.

The ENFJ/ESFJ types are the most prone to melodramatic thinking. So they try to inject their melodrama into every situation when there wasn't any to begin with.

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players," where the ESFJ/ENFJ are the directors and even masters of the stage.

The world to an ESFJ/ENFJ:

Can't relate. Most people tell me that I am easy-going and level-headed. I know some melodramatic EXFJs though. What's the point in getting furious over trivial matters.

An example of melodramatic political thinking (quoted from an adult female, so "hear" it with a high-pitched voice):

"I'm incensed that a man who couldn't be bothered to serve his country in the military wants to toss out Dreamers who do. Yes, DACA protects people who were brought here as children who love America so much that they've put themselves in harm's way to serve in the military. Unlike Trump, they don't have any obligation to this country -- they serve because they love America. I wish the president could find it in his heart to imitate them. But, of course, first he'd have to get a heart."

Of course, it's all about the heart.

Did somebody seriously say that? I typically don't use that sort of language. It's funny nonetheless.

 

[Mal12345]

Can't relate. Most people tell me that I am easy-going and level-headed. I know some melodramatic EXFJs though. What's the point in getting furious over trivial matters.



Did somebody seriously say that? I typically don't use that sort of language. It's funny nonetheless.

Yeah but you've got a small e and a small f in your type display. eNfJ.

 

[Starry]

Mal...

In the title you used the word "Projection"...and in the content here you are discussing "Melodrama". Are these one in the same in your opinion?

When I think of "Projection" I think of someone accusing/blaming another person or group for what they, themselves, are doing or have done (without recognition though...like the individual isn't saying "hey look they are doing the same thing I am doing" no. They believe they are innocent of what they just went and magically assigned to another person or group.) And I do see a correlation here with the ExFJ but I'm not sure if this is even what you are talking about.

^^If this is what you are saying...what causes this and how do you make it stop? haha no. But I come from an ENFJ heavy family and I'm basically desperate to understand and open to any suggestions at this point on how to deal with projection and scapegoating.

 

[Mal12345]

Mal...

In the title you used the word "Projection"...and in the content here you are discussing "Melodrama". Are these one in the same in your opinion?

When I think of "Projection" I think of someone accusing/blaming another person or group for what they, themselves, are doing or have done (without recognition though...like the individual isn't saying "hey look they are doing the same thing I am doing" no. They believe they are innocent of what they just went and magically assigned to another person or group.) And I do see a correlation here with the ExFJ but I'm not sure if this is even what you are talking about.

^^If this is what you are saying...what causes this and how do you make it stop? haha no. But I come from an ENFJ heavy family and I'm basically desperate to understand and open to any suggestions at this point on how to deal with projection and scapegoating.

If I'm projecting, let's say, it's when I imagine externally and objectively that which is only subjective in me. And then I take the projected imagination to be reality. Extroverts in particular are out of touch with inner reality. But they know everything there is to know about others, whether it's knowing how to control others or gathering information to spread around as gossip, or both.

So the answer I have is to get them talking about their inner lives. Sure, they can talk your ear off about their fascinating activities, but they never get around to examining on a deeper level except in rare moments of clarity, like my older step-daughter who one day, out of the blue, asked "I'm 24 years old, why do I still talk like a child?" But those moments of clarity never last long. And I'm realistic to know that, with some people, it's just no use trying to get them to focus internally for very long.

 

[Red Ribbon]

An example of melodramatic political thinking (quoted from an adult female, so "hear" it with a high-pitched voice):

"I'm incensed that a man who couldn't be bothered to serve his country in the military wants to toss out Dreamers who do. Yes, DACA protects people who were brought here as children who love America so much that they've put themselves in harm's way to serve in the military. Unlike Trump, they don't have any obligation to this country -- they serve because they love America. I wish the president could find it in his heart to imitate them. But, of course, first he'd have to get a heart."

Of course, it's all about the heart.

I don't really relate to this either. It's way too dramatic. I'm an enneagram 9. I don't think this way.

 

[Starry]

If I'm projecting, let's say, it's when I imagine externally and objectively that which is only subjective in me. And then I take the projected imagination to be reality. Extroverts in particular are out of touch with inner reality. But they know everything there is to know about others, whether it's knowing how to control others or gathering information to spread around as gossip, or both.

Ok this actually makes a hell of a lot of sense and yet I don't think I would have ever come to this understanding on my own. And with this I can see how Fe would be more likely to "fall victim" to utilizing projection as a coping/defense strategy. There's almost a "path of least resistance" thing going on here...(Ne can traverse alternative meanings like Fe can traverse alternative people.). Thank you.

So the answer I have is to get them talking about their inner lives. Sure, they can talk your ear off about their fascinating activities, but they never get around to examining on a deeper level except in rare moments of clarity, like my older step-daughter who one day, out of the blue, asked "I'm 24 years old, why do I still talk like a child?" But those moments of clarity never last long. And I'm realistic to know that, with some people, it's just no use trying to get them to focus internally for very long.

It blows my mind how "other focus" my mom and sister are...and yet you're r right...when I ask my mom a personal question she often appears confused haha. And I have considered just letting go and allowing them to assign to me what in actuality belongs to them but it's challenging (Fi is like "fuck no"). This gives me another tool to try though so thanks again.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I think any type can project.

 

[Mal12345]

I think any type can project.

Yep.