Why do we dismiss the notion that thinkers could be more emotional than feelers?

[Scapegoated 4 fun]

...So, its a risk you tale fir the convenience of the 'short cut' you use and works a lot of the time. Unfortunately, thinkers who have not invested kn this area tend to also leak 'toxicity'as they re often unaware that their system of denying emotiobs tends to cause that stuff to seepnout in ways they dont recognize, and often affects others negatively....

The difference here is that, thinkers might accidentally do something that hurts others, because they are unaware that it hurts others, as youve said here, whereas feelers will do things to intentionally hurt others. They are much more calculated in there hurting of others in this way from my experience.

 

[Amargith]

The difference here is that, thinkers might accidentally do something that hurts others, because they are unaware that it hurts others, as youve said here, whereas feelers will do things to intentionally hurt others. They are much more calculated in there hurting of others in this way from my experience.

Its a common misperception ime, actually. Navigating the elotional realm isnt an easy skill to learn, and just because you ve mastered some of it, doesnt mean you are psychic and without bias suddenly. Or for that matter, incapable of making mistakes. Most feelers have an innate desire to get along and not hurt others. The execution of that desire however... add that to the learning process and they will stumble and fall, like anyone else when mastering their craft

And yes, some will use their abilities for power - just like a smart T might get drunk on the power of his ability to take advantage of logical opportunities - and forget abojt the consequences for others. Most of them arent like thzt though, and the same is true for feelers.

But we re not immune to powerful emotions like jealousy, fear of abandonment, fear of failure and so on - and it does taje time to learn how to master them and not get overwhelmed by them to the point where you can actually see the whole picture and other people in it

 

[Scapegoated 4 fun]

Its a common misperception ime, actually. Navigating the elotional realm isnt an easy skill to learn, and just because you ve mastered some of it, doesnt mean you are psychic and without bias suddenly. Or for that matter, incapable of making mistakes....

I didn't say or hint at any of that, I merely said that feelers are more likely to hurt others intentionally whereas thinkers are more likely to hurt others inadvertently.

 

[Amargith]

I didn't say or hint at any of that, I merely said that feelers are more likely to hurt others intentionally whereas thinkers are more likely to hurt others inadvertently.

And my response points at why you may experience this as such without it necessarily being the truth.

I have the exact opposite experience due to my own feeler bias and projection of my assumptins on their motivations. It took me several years on this forum to fully undo that knee-jerk perception


Edit: i gotto hit the hay, though. It was nice meeting you

 

[Scapegoated 4 fun]

.....I have the exact opposite experience due to my own feeler bias and projection of my assumptins on their motivations. It took me several years on this forum to fully undo that knee-jerk perception....

Case and point

 

[Mayflower]

As for the reason why, I toss that up to the titles of the dichotomies themselves (Thinker/Feeler). Both are misnomers that blur the real focus of the type. Most equate "feeling" with emotion but that is not what it is. Thinking and Feeling are both "rational" judgement of the acquired perception. Emotion is not rational.

 

[Qlip]

How does that work? Wouldn't you think the ones with more and varied emotions would be more likely to take emotions into account? I'm not doubting what you said is true, I'm just wondering how that works.

Not necessarily, I really do think as mentioned above it's more of a cognitive preference than a coping strategy. Since emotion is a very subjective experience, it's hard for me to judge things like intensity and variety in another human being, but I often see very emotional Thinkers outwardly more readily experience anger, which is generally a secondary emotion that results from various other emotions, like feelings of vulnerably. A Thinker who is emotionally averse might deal with the subject that is the source of the anger in a less nuanced manner, like attempting to vilify the source and thus disqualify it from requiring any mental effort, which is crude, but can be effective in a lot of situations.

 

[Red Memories]

"Repress their emotions" .. Here we go again. While I like your thread title, I think Ts don't feel as convicted by feelings of right/wrong or appropriate/inappropriate . In Typology, Feeling is different from emotion. (Emotions = sadness, happiness, joy, irritability, etc) . I don't repress my emotions . I'm very emotional but I do try to analyze them.

Look , any human who denies emotion is either a real life bot or a wannabe bot. Emotions don't ONLY mean crying or sadness, either. Unless you dead ass walk around with a damn poker face the majority of the time .. you, (genarlized, "you") , don't repress emotion but only a feeling function.

Ts repress either of the bottom two in favor of T logical systems. It doesn't require that any of us "repress emotion" only feeling. Only the Fi users might not express happy/overjoyous ones as much. (They're still human)..

Fi - subjective convictions of right/wrong, subjective mood
Or
Fe - objective appropriateness /objective mood

The below picture is an example of emotions/emotional expression!

Anybody who think Ts are less/more emotional are basing things on ignorance. As far as compassion goes, I can see Ts being less compassionate because we look to justice before mercy. If the facts/truth/logic points to harsh consequences or supports what some may call harsh, I'm not going to budge.

A thinking type can cry over a mom's jail sentencing and be sad while agreeing with the jail sentence and actually testifying against the mother. Emotions are just...there. They cannot be helped upon first glance but can be analyzed or gotten over rather quickly.

I thank you for this because I feel like it has helped me understand the difference between the feeling and thinking as well.

 

[virtualinsanity]

To answer the question of the title: ..because ignorant folks in Typology always seek to equate Emotion with Feeling when it's not exactly how it works. Just as intution in Jungian/MBTI is not equivalent to psychics/Mrs.Cleo types.. neither is feeling equivalent to actual emotion. The feeling function is the judgment, not the emotion.

"I cried when you shot that man" is different from "shooting that man was absolutely wrong." The latter is the judgment. (F/T.)
Crying , (the emotion) sometimes cannot be helped.

Emotions: Not only crying or being sad...(once again)
Both have capacity to get intense emotions over anything: Sunsets, candy, God, annoying babies crying, someone being killed, riding bikes, etc...

Perceptive functions also ignite emotions. "Riding this motorcycle makes me feel happy" (happy = emotion).. but that doesn't mean I think it's the "right" (right = judgment) ..thing to do, per Se.

How you form your judgments is what gives you insight into the feeling or thinking functions, not necessarily how strong/much emotion one has.

 

[virtualinsanity]

I think a few so-called thinkers online have a (very wrong) understanding that thinking functions mean to be without personal emotion.. and that being a T makes one smarter.. therefore, making being a "T" more appealing to them... (subconsciously)..


I actually think it's a pitiful epidemic in Typology communities...and no matter how many times you repeat this to dummies, they still don't get it..and decide to attempt to type others based on their faulty Dum-Dum System...

 

[Abcdenfp]

to me this is fascinating.. feelings are yummy
I do tend to think that thinkers are capable of "feeling" quite deeply and yes to a degree more intensely than us feelers which is why it always puzzles me that they don't know what to do with them. When dealing with thinkers who are experiencing big emotions I try to give them time to process as they really seem to need time to decide what to do with the feelings.
As a feeler I love feeling all ranges of emotions and I trust my instinct and feelings.i do have a tendency to over think a situation and so have always tended to trust my gut.

 

[HisKittyKat]

They do ? We do ? I like my man raw and vulnerable, delicious. I don't enjoy every word in all conversations to be of the emotional flavor, however I do enjoy an emotional man in the right time and place. In my bed and under my sheets Other than the bedroom and Intimate moments I prefer my man be more of the Intellectual flavor, but when we are alone under the sheets the more emotional the better, MMmm good.

 

[virtualinsanity]

They do ? We do ? I like my man raw and vulnerable, delicious. I don't enjoy every word in all conversations to be of the emotional flavor, however I do enjoy an emotional man in the right time and place. In my bed and under my sheets Other than the bedroom and Intimate moments I prefer my man be more of the Intellectual flavor, but when we are alone under the sheets the more emotional the better, MMmm good.

You are seriously becoming one of my favorite posters ...

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Its a common misperception ime, actually. Navigating the elotional realm isnt an easy skill to learn, and just because you ve mastered some of it, doesnt mean you are psychic and without bias suddenly. Or for that matter, incapable of making mistakes. Most feelers have an innate desire to get along and not hurt others. The execution of that desire however... add that to the learning process and they will stumble and fall, like anyone else when mastering their craft

And yes, some will use their abilities for power - just like a smart T might get drunk on the power of his ability to take advantage of logical opportunities - and forget abojt the consequences for others. Most of them arent like thzt though, and the same is true for feelers.

But we re not immune to powerful emotions like jealousy, fear of abandonment, fear of failure and so on - and it does taje time to learn how to master them and not get overwhelmed by them to the point where you can actually see the whole picture and other people in it

This is an insightful post. The person who hurt me the worst in my life was a T-dom with suppressed anger issues. He intentionally manipulated and hurt me, although I will give him the benefit of the doubt of not fully comprehending how much damage he caused, even though it was strategically executed. He was brilliant at observing and manipulating cause and effect.


He had compartmentalized his anger so that he could process some ideas with pure rationality, but when emotionally triggered he was pure irrationality relying on phobia type responses and highly prejudicial fears and assumptions. I never knew such an extreme dichotomy could exist in a person.

I understand T based emotional processing to be more compartmentalized, so it can dismiss emotional intrusions into its thinking process. It also subjects emotions to logical analysis and can be very successful in dealing with emotions in this way, but to the extent logic fails the job of resolving emotional unrest, the Thinker can becomes very lost as to what to do with the emotion besides suppress and deny it. Some will have developed or incorporated more tools including subjective ones, so my comments are all generalized and do not apply to every individual.

 

[adventureawaits]

The difference I've noticed is that it isn't so much a matter of experiencing emotion but how it is expressed and valued. I express mine often... using words like "I feel", giving value to my emotions, speaking in terms of how I feel, trying to get others to express their feelings, etc. I spend a lot of time focusing on how I feel and processing/understanding how I feel. My two long term relationships have been with an ENTJ & an INTP. Both didn't assign much value to how they felt, but boy, did they have emotions. It would sometimes come out in different ways, such as frustration or anger, or in an act of love. But it was there and more raw & unprocessed. It was actually the thing I liked best about both of them.

I also notice that as a feeler, I assign value to my emotions and take them seriously. As in, it is totally valid for me to feel sad right now because that's how I'm experiencing the particular situation. I'm a lot more forgiving of myself when it comes to my emotions. The thinkers I've been closely connected with kinda did the opposite.

 

[Red Ribbon]

The difference I've noticed is that it isn't so much a matter of experiencing emotion but how it is expressed and valued. I express mine often... using words like "I feel", giving value to my emotions, speaking in terms of how I feel, trying to get others to express their feelings, etc. I spend a lot of time focusing on how I feel and processing/understanding how I feel. My two long term relationships have been with an ENTJ & an INTP. Both didn't assign much value to how they felt, but boy, did they have emotions. It would sometimes come out in different ways, such as frustration or anger, or in an act of love. But it was there and more raw & unprocessed. It was actually the thing I liked best about both of them.

I also notice that as a feeler, I assign value to my emotions and take them seriously. As in, it is totally valid for me to feel sad right now because that's how I'm experiencing the particular situation. I'm a lot more forgiving of myself when it comes to my emotions. The thinkers I've been closely connected with kinda did the opposite.

I find it easy to be in a situation where I don't invest myself emotionally. Like if someone came to me and asked for my help, I can extend it without actually caring about the person in question. I don't care about other people's values and stuff because I honestly don't see any value in it myself (my Fi I guess ) I have a strong set of morals and a life philosophy I follow. It may not be something I created myself, I may have adopted it from somewhere else. I can see someone with the opposite set of values and still not care.

However, if I am emotionally invested, I can be quite emotional. Things can trigger me and I can get the occasional, "How could you not care about my feelings?!" moments but these are short lived. I can also be quick to be angered and I can lose my cool over trivial things but I associate that to my anxiety disorder and I am looking at ways to fix them. There are times where my feelings become more valuable to me than anything else.

I've also been told that I am emotionally unavailable and if that's true, it's a defense mechanism. I'm a lot more vulnerable than I appear to be. I have also been told I have low emotional intelligence. I wonder if other T types relate to this?

Maybe I'm actually a feeling type... Most TJ types I know are quite level headed. I'm quite emo and can be a whiny cry baby at times as well.

 

[entropie]

Feelers talk more

 

[thepink-cloakedninja]

Hmm, interesting idea. How would you counteract the argument that the tertiary function doesn't begin to develop until around the 20s and that the inferior function doesn't begin to develop until one reaches midlife? Would this mean that the irrational types (EXXP, IXXJ) don't have a true self until they reach their 20s and that the rational types (IXXP, EXXJ) don't have a true self until they're in their 40s?

Wait, maybe this is where midlife crises come from!

 

[EnnisPreit]

I dont really care for others feelings, but close people know I have more feelings than feelers and expect someone to be there for me. Im selfish :/