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  1. #1
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    Sep 2014
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    Default Introverts with very extroverted friends? How do you find balance?

    I'm an introvert (I think) although only very slightly (if mbti gave an ambivert option, I'd be that!). I like going out, I have a good time meeting with friends. But I need my 'me' time. It seems like weekly rotations- one week I'll go to the SU (I'm at uni) 3 or 4 times, then the next week I just want to spend my time relaxing by myself, I turn down invites to go out, I read, draw, watch films, go on walks etc.

    Most people don't make anything of it but I have a friend who is extremely extroverted. In fact she's my opposite in almost every way. Where I'm more laid back, she's your classic type A personality. She's hard working, organised, long term plan, knows exactly what she wants. In a lot of ways, the differences help our friendship. But she needs to be with someone every second of the day!

    Mostly the differences don't bother me, but she does not understand my need for space. If I don't answer my phone, she sends snapchats, facebook messages and texts non stop. If I say I'm not going out, she presses to know why and saying I want some alone time isn't a good enough answer and she seems to think there's something wrong with it! Has anyone else experienced this? I've tried telling her how it's nothing to do with other people, no ones done anything wrong, I'm not upset. I simply like to do things on my own! How do I get her to understand?!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Taibreah's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
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    Default

    Well, for the most part the majority of my extroverted friends and family members live in another state, so I don't see them as often. I do find that when I do visit them (or they visit me) that it's an enjoyable experience, and not completely draining. It also could be because we only see each other once in a while (every 3-5 months). It also helps that I share common interests with at least a couple of them. One likes to go hiking and do outdoor nature activities, and I so love doing that! Another can feel comfortable by just sitting back and delighting in a discussion of shared interests, (yet very expressive). I feel like I'm doing most of the listening in these situations, but I enjoy listening to others stories.

    I don't think I'd be able to deal with an extrovert that always needed to be around people every second of the day. I would think that even they would require some downtime, unless that downtime is simply getting sleep. I did/do have a friend with that amount of energy, although we didn't always do things together or go places together. I did find myself mostly drained after spending at around 3-4 hours with them. I couldn't know exactly what their type would be, but it reminds me of the social butterfly who is super friendly and encouraging to all. If anything, I totally admired and loved how encouraging this friend of mine could be, but not the whole needing to be with people all the time. I don't even want to be alone all the time. I prefer it, but I like having company sometimes, too.

    I think your extremely extroverted friend just can't put herself in your shoes and see from an introverts perspective of needing alone time and for recharging from social activities. You could try explaining the differences to her to educate her that not everyone thinks or feels the same way that she does. Honestly, I feel like her not being understanding is quite selfish.

  3. #3
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    Default

    Well, i shut down social media. So there's no fucking contacts. XD when you're not living with your extrovert friends it's much easier.. But living with them... Omg!!!!!!!!!

    Well I'm an ambivert they're fun to be with.. But i remember one time, hahahah. XD i cried. XD i dunno why i just cried in public because I'm so stressed about everything i mean not stressed but pressured..

    There's this one time, well everything comes together like, my Extroverted bff is inviting me over some event.. And i was still at work.. And work was like demanding something too then there's this one crush friend who's I'm helping too. Omg!! It's like work, crush, bff was like demanding suddenly to me in one time and i just cried. Hahahahahahah..it was funny because i don't really cry. Hahahahhahahaha.xD I'm such a girl it's inside the office. I'm such a fucking vulnerable cute girl that time, crying. Hahaha. I like myself being like that because i don't usually do that everytime. XD i usually play tough hahahah. Wehh. Tough my face. Crying xD

    Geez..thats all. It's actually funny. XD i think my bff laughed about it xD

  4. #4
    alchemist Legion's Avatar
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    I don't really get overwhelmed hanging out one on one with an extrovert. It's nice that they do most of the talking, but I can still chime in.

    It's just groups of people where I have a tendency to withdraw and sit on my own. Then it's more how comfortable I am around the people than -version.

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