Extroverts with social anxiety

[Smilephantomhive]

How does having social anxiety affect your extroversion?

How did you find out you were an extrovert despite your social anxiety? Did it make finding out your type difficult?

And yeah you can just talk about extroversion and social anxiety here.

 

[Yama]

I think I am one of these. Cognitively extroverted perhaps, but maybe not socially.

I have always considered myself to be shy but I'm starting to think that it's just a result of how severe my social anxiety is. It takes me an insane amount of time to feel comfortable around people or in an environment but when I finally do, nothing holds me back from pretty much dominating everything socially. I do crave a lot of interaction with people when I'm finally comfortable around them. But I think I am afraid of people. Even just thinking about being with a group of people I don't know makes me go into "fight or flight" mode and have an anxiety attack. It's just been this way my entire life. Thus recently I've begun wondering if I actually Fe more than I Si, but Si (being introverted) is where I often escape to when faced with a situation that causes me a lot of social anxiety. It's just amazing to me how much Fe I shit all over the place when I'm not inhibited with social anxiety.

 

[entropie]

Social anxiety runs in my family, my mum spent some years in a psycho clinic because she didnt leave the house no more. I have it as well, I especially felt it in young years when smoking weed. While everyone got light and funny, I became paranoid, to the point of extremly. I always get nervous when I am planned for a social gathering till today. If it just happens its ok, but when I know I have to be there in 3 days, I am nervous for 3 days. I overcame the problem by taking on the most extrovert job on Earth. So social interaction grew a custom to me. Nowadays I consider the nervosity as a strength, cause it helps keeping me humble.

Finding my type was easy cause it said: entps are the most introverted under the extroverts. Plus i dont consider E or I to be a social thing, but more the way you process information or make decisions. In a World without people, my brain would be empty. That makes me an extrovert imo, cause they live thru the outside World.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I think I am one of these. Cognitively extroverted perhaps, but maybe not socially.

I have always considered myself to be shy but I'm starting to think that it's just a result of how severe my social anxiety is. It takes me an insane amount of time to feel comfortable around people or in an environment but when I finally do, nothing holds me back from pretty much dominating everything socially. I do crave a lot of interaction with people when I'm finally comfortable around them. But I think I am afraid of people. Even just thinking about being with a group of people I don't know makes me go into "fight or flight" mode and have an anxiety attack. It's just been this way my entire life. Thus recently I've begun wondering if I actually Fe more than I Si, but Si (being introverted) is where I often escape to when faced with a situation that causes me a lot of social anxiety. It's just amazing to me how much Fe I shit all over the place when I'm not inhibited with social anxiety.

Yeah I feel like it would be hard to see yourself as a Fe dom when you're afraid of people. It sounds contradicting to Get, but social anxiety doesn't care about your mbti type.

 

[Tilt]

Yeah I feel like it would be hard to see yourself as a Fe dom when you're afraid of people. It sounds contradicting to Get, but social anxiety doesn't care about your mbti type.

I am a Fe dom with severe social anxiety. The weird thing is that when I get in the grips of anxiety, that's when my potent, influential side comes out... normally, I just come off as quiet, awkward, and overly formal.

 

[Yama]

I am a Fe dom with severe social anxiety. The weird thing is that when I get in the grips of anxiety, that's when my potent, influential side comes out... normally, I just come off as quiet, awkward, and overly formal.

I can relate. I'm super awkward and silent all the time in public... yet if someone talks to me, even if on the inside I'm dying of social anxiety, my Fe kicks in and makes me appear somewhat normal. Self preservation?

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Social anxiety runs in my family, my mum spent some years in a psycho clinic because she didnt leave the house no more. I have it as well, I especially felt it in young years when smoking weed. While everyone got light and funny, I became paranoid, to the point of extremly.

That is actually why I quit smoking at the age of 17 (I'm 31 now). I tried it again several months ago to see if it was different these days, and it was exactly the same. A lot of people give me weird looks when I tell them that weed gives me severe social anxiety, only a couple have understood what I'm talking about.

 

[Metis]

I think that's me, because I always wanted to be fun, social and popular and even daydreamed about it a lot when I was by myself as a kid. I would fluctuate between acting shy most of the time and acting outgoing, and people would be really taken by surprise by the latter. I was rejected a lot, and my pride as well as pragmatism led me to believe that I was simply more to the I side--oh, that, and being raised by a flagrantly E caregiver who would express an exaggerated perception of my I-ishness compared to the rather extreme E of said caregiver. That person had an extremely dominant personality, too, so in contrast I probably gained an exaggerated perception of myself as being socially inept.

I never really felt, as in felt, social anxiety until I was an adult, though--with the exception of butterflies in the stomach due to stage fright and things like that. I was just a kid who wanted to be well-liked and found myself on the receiving end of a lot of rumors and nasty behaviors. No really visceral feeling to that, back then. But as an adult, and having been in more physically threatening situations, I have a more reactive and 6-like phobic/counter-phobic experience around people. I still wish to be loved and popular, and now I also wish I had cultivated one-on-one friendships from my younger days and kept the better ones, but I definitely spend most of my time, even in a crowd, isolating myself and avoiding. It's not just shyness and fear of being rejected and/or judged, now, although it's still partly that. Now I'm also afraid that a situation will explode and result in harm done to my life, whether to my body or my reputation or both. It's more of a fear instinct now.

Even when I try to be friendly and have a good time with others, it's not exactly an interaction. In those cases, I seem to overwhelm people with excitement, a lot like Tigger would piss people off by pouncing them with friendliness. And they don't often relate to that the same way they do to each other when they're being relaxed. Some people are entertained, and some are annoyed, but it doesn't lead to us relating to each other. It feels like a surface encounter. I'm afraid of getting scratched down to my soul and bleeding from my soul, so even when I'm friendly, there's like a bubble of exuberant friendliness around me, and it protects me from experiencing the relationship on a more intimate level.

Mostly, I keep to myself. It's always the quiet ones.

 

[five sounds]

lmao welp just started a VERY similar thread and then saw this one.

 

[kotoshinohaisha]

I'm extrovert based on my cognitive function. (I'm not sure yet about this, it's either Se, or Ne)
But I'm not really very talkative. XD (unless I'm drunk)
I have social anxiety sometimes. I knew when it actually comes. Sometimes I'm confident, sometimes I'm anxious. I think it's with my hormonal imbalance.

And when I'm on my pms period, i think very deep, i became an Ne, plus Fi. I became an infp. I'm very sensitive, it's actually hormones, i am fully aware of it. It's not really self inflicted. That's why when that time comes, i try as much as possible to be an Se. To stop thinking and just live on the current moment, and what I'm thinking is not true. Specially when I'm in public, and I'm alone. I always try to build my confidence eventhough i don't really feel like it.. If i feel so down, i still go out.. Because i wanna fight this feeling. I know this is just a feeling. And i have control of this.

 

[Cellmold]

I can relate. I'm super awkward and silent all the time in public... yet if someone talks to me, even if on the inside I'm dying of social anxiety, my Fe kicks in and makes me appear somewhat normal. Self preservation?

Might be stemming from a core tension, which is constantly seeking for a settled footing which never comes. Then upon being forced to act before the feeling of 'readiness' it's forced to throw caution to the wind and act the part to avoid exposure and social concern/attention from others.

At least that's at a glance, though I could just be projecting my own experience.

I'm currently trying out some relaxing techniques akin to a form of mediation. My issue is the sheer amount of potential and energy wasted in being anxious.

It's a very inefficient state and you run the risk of watching your entire life slip by as you skirt around looking for some way out. It's usually something very simple that helps, but seeing it takes great effort and involves not doing what is accustomed.

Sadly the most effective thoughts come when the mind is relaxed, or rather they take on a different significance.

If you can get the right state, even for just a moment, you can see the difference. Then you've got to jam your foot in before the opportunity closes.

 

[geedoenfj]

My husband is an ENTP 6w7 with social anxiety, he's only comfortable around people that he can troll and tease.. He also would completely avoid the situations where he's the center of attention..
He gets either too shy with shoulders down and socially awkward, or just too annoyingly polite.. But when he's angry he's so rude and disrespectful and do too much drama..

I'm only anxious around large group of people who I didn't get the chance to know yet, but once I talk to few of them, I don't have any anxiety at all

 

[Cellmold]

My husband is an ENTP 6w7 with social anxiety, he's only comfortable around people that he can troll and tease.. He also would completely avoid the situations where he's the center of attention..
He gets either too shy with shoulders down and socially awkward, or just too annoyingly polite.. But when he's angry he's so rude and disrespectful and do too much drama..

I'm only anxious around large group of people who I didn't get the chance to know yet, but once I talk to few of them, I don't have any anxiety at all

Your husband sounds scarily similar to myself.

I was pretty much the same. I'm slightly more at ease with new people now, but not by much and the extreme dramatic rudeness with anger is still a hallmark.

 

[Lord Lavender]

My husband is an ENTP 6w7 with social anxiety, he's only comfortable around people that he can troll and tease.. He also would completely avoid the situations where he's the center of attention..
He gets either too shy with shoulders down and socially awkward, or just too annoyingly polite.. But when he's angry he's so rude and disrespectful and do too much drama..

I'm only anxious around large group of people who I didn't get the chance to know yet, but once I talk to few of them, I don't have any anxiety at all

OMG again he seems very similar to me but I do love to be the centre of attention but i am shy with new people and big crowds. Also I can be rude sometimes if stressed out.

 

[geedoenfj]

Your husband sounds scarily similar to myself.

I was pretty much the same. I'm slightly more at ease with new people now, but not by much and the extreme dramatic rudeness with anger is still a hallmark.

Taking a deep breath and release might help

Do you have some level of anxiety when talking to people online like texting, or on the phone? I just get awkward and anxious when talking on the phone, also when I need to ask them some questions by texting.. I am much better at personal meetings..
I also get uncomfortable around cameras and recording devices

OMG again he seems very similar to me but I do love to be the centre of attention but i am shy with new people and big crowds. Also I can be rude sometimes if stressed out.

Oh I see..
You mean center of attention among your closest friends and people you're used to?
Though I believe the level of anger and rudeness would be different because he's also an 8w7, his tolerance for pressure is very low, I mean very very low..