[MBTI General] How it feels to be a perceiver, married to a judger.

[Roman Empire]

When you are being woken up 5 am, because they want to get something out of their life.

 

[Firebird 8118]

When you are being woken up 5 am, because they want to get something out of their life.

That face I make that same face every morning these days.

 

[Seymour]

Things I trained my ISTJ-ish partner of 24 years out of:

• Him singing in the shower (he gets up well before I do... and his sense of pitch is... umm... still developing)
• Attempting conversation with me before I've had my shower
• Discussing long term planning (including wanting decisions) right before bed

Things he trained me out of:

• Cutting timing close when traveling (I now get to the airport/train/whatever in plenty of time)
• Expecting him to stay up late talking when the conversation is good (when his timer goes off, he's done)
• Volunteering him to come along for indeterminate, unstructured "hanging out time" away from home

(Some of the above is probably about him being 5sp, but some is definitely about our J/P split.)

 

[Coriolis]

Things I trained my ISTJ-ish partner of 24 years out of:

• Him singing in the shower (he gets up well before I do... and his sense of pitch is... umm... still developing)
• Attempting conversation with me before I've had my shower
• Discussing long term planning (including wanting decisions) right before bed

Things he trained me out of:

• Cutting timing close when traveling (I now get to the airport/train/whatever in plenty of time)
• Expecting him to stay up late talking when the conversation is good (when his timer goes off, he's done)
• Volunteering him to come along for indeterminate, unstructured "hanging out time" away from home

(Some of the above is probably about him being 5sp, but some is definitely about our J/P split.)

Except for the singing, I experience the same with my INTP.

 

[Seymour]

Except for the singing, I experience the same with my INTP.

That's interesting, since in Big Five conscienciousness (correlated with MBTi Judging) appears to be the strongest Big Five determinant of being a morning person ("lark"). Of course, even a strong correlation leaves rooms for exceptions... and translating Big Five studies to MBTI means talking about correlations of correlations.

One of the canonical traits of judgers is "I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline..." did you used to cut close arriving for flights/trains/etc? In real life no one is 100% on any of the preferences.

 

[cascadeco]

That's interesting, since in Big Five conscienciousness (correlated with MBTi Judging) appears to be the strongest Big Five determinant of being a morning person ("lark"). Of course, even a strong correlation leaves rooms for exceptions... and translating Big Five studies to MBTI means talking about correlations of correlations.

One of the canonical traits of judgers is "I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline..." did you used to cut close arriving for flights/trains/etc? In real life no one is 100% on any of the preferences.

Interesting points.

When talking strictly dichotomies and traits associated with J/P (your stereotypes), I'm very close to smack in the middle of J and P. So I actually run into issues / have frustrations with both extreme J's and extreme P's. I think I AM actually P, but definitely not an extreme one on the sliding scale (for example I don't cut it close on anything timewise, in terms of events. In terms of non-events, yeah, I have a tendency to push towards last minute).

I also think S/N can play into things associated with J/P traits. So, NP I think is going to tend to be the most oblivious/unaware/devaluing of time and practicalities, SJ the most aware/conscientious/preoccupied/valuing, and SP and NJ somewhere in between, and probably about the same. (As trends go)

 

[Seymour]

Interesting points.

When talking strictly dichotomies and traits associated with J/P (your stereotypes), I'm very close to smack in the middle of J and P. So I actually run into issues / have frustrations with both extreme J's and extreme P's. I think I AM actually P, but definitely not an extreme one on the sliding scale (for example I don't cut it close on anything timewise, in terms of events. In terms of non-events, yeah, I have a tendency to push towards last minute).

I hear you... I think my Perceiving preference is naturally very strong. But I've been trained into some more judging/conscientious behaviors by various factors, both when growing up and as an adult. Consequently, when I'm around some people (like my close 7w6 ISFP friend), I feel like I'm the time aware one who is keeping an eye on the clock.

I also think S/N can play into things associated with J/P traits. So, NP I think is going to tend to be the most oblivious/unaware/devaluing of time and practicalities, SJ the most aware/conscientious/preoccupied/valuing, and SP and NJ somewhere in between, and probably about the same. (As trends go)

I generally agree, although I feel like in some ways NPs have more of a future orientation than SPs, since NPs are more focused on possibilities of what might be. I think that can help when persevering through some short-term unpleasantness in pursuit of a longer term goal. It seems like ESFPs, for example, struggle with delayed gratification event more than most NPs. However, NPs can be (I'd think) prone to maladaptive daydreaming which makes folks less likely to stick with longer term goals.

 

[cascadeco]

I hear you... I think my Perceiving preference is naturally very strong. But I've been trained into some more judging/conscientious behaviors by various factors, both when growing up and as an adult. Consequently, when I'm around some people (like my close 7w6 ISFP friend), I feel like I'm the time aware one who is keeping an eye on the clock.

Makes sense. And yeah, I too was 'trained' from birth against P, as I have two ISxJ parents. So both my INTP brother and I are ones who'd always be on time/early to things. (and many J-type questions in assessments are tied to time management/organization sorts of things, which I was raised to be attentive towards)

I generally agree, although I feel like in some ways NPs have more of a future orientation than SPs, since NPs are more focused on possibilities of what might be. I think that can help when persevering through some short-term unpleasantness in pursuit of a longer term goal. It seems like ESFPs, for example, struggle with delayed gratification event more than most NPs. However, NPs can be (I'd think) prone to maladaptive daydreaming which makes folks less likely to stick with longer term goals.

This makes sense. And actually I'm fairly bad at delayed gratification myself; and future has always been a thorn for me. About the best I can do is a 1-2 year plan to make something happen, and post-college, to be honest, I've only successfully 'executed' two longer-term plans (well, only one actually, and am in the midst of a second one right now. But all other 'big ideas' quickly burned out / I decided I couldn't commit to them or realized they didn't have a solid enough base in my true feelings/values)