[Fi] Fi, Why Are You So Dependent On Others?

[Mal12345]

Over the years I've read a lot of complaints about terrible Si types and those horrible INTJs, but those criticisms are usually being leveled by Fi types who have their own evil tendencies.

You seem to be soooo independent, but you're not. You only think you are. At one point in your life you truly were independent, your values were set and stable; but then you lost confidence in them, in yourself. And now it's gone and you don't want it to be that way. So you lead a life of subtle pretense which fools nobody but yourself. You need people yet you despise them at the same time because they make your neediness more obvious. And it's not just people in general, you need specific people to be reliant upon you and never leave, just as you rely on them to help dispel your feelings of abandonment. You curse them and cast them out, and then either come crawling back or manipulate them into taking you back. These shameless manipulations are a cover up for a deeper lie: you are a charlatan, an intellectual and emotional fraud without a single original idea to call your own. You would like to believe they are original to you, but you plagiarized them from someone else, usually one person who serves as the secret source. At best, you would call that person an influence; but "cause" is a better word for it. In other words, you are effect of someone else's reality, and have no individual existence to call your own.

 

[Yama]

dayum, mal! back at it again with the function hate threads!

 

[Pionart]

There is a heavy element of manipulation in Mal's post. Reading that is likely to have a person believe that they are those things, that they do those things, whether it is true of them or not.

Furthermore, it seems to include no advice or help regarding what to do if those things were true of you, it is simply a clusterfuck of negative words.

 

[Dreamer]

dayum, mal! back at it again with the function hate threads!

Didn't notice myself. I was busy staring at his white vans.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

To the OP: You sound very angry at a specific person in your personal life. I hope they deserve that criticism and that this isn't an instance of a bullying mindset. People can finally blow up at being mistreated for years and reasonably be that angry. People can also project their own issues onto others and be completely unfair in their criticisms. There isn't a way for a casual reader like myself to have any idea the context or credibility of such a post, but it certainly has nothing to do with an entire category of people. That part is for certain.

 

[Galaxy Gazer]

Yep, Fi users are unoriginal copycats who don't have the mental capacity to come up with one idea of their own. All of them. Perfect description right there. I mean, Fi kinda had a lot to do with deriving values and ideas from within, rather than going along with what the other person/people think(s) like a Fe user might, but that doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter that two of the Fi types also use Ne, which is essentially coming up with various ideas in creative energy spikes. That's clearly all just propaganda spread by those stupid Fi users!

...really though, who are you mad at?

 

[Norrsken]

give op a troll medal nao

 

[Poki]

There is a heavy element of manipulation in Mal's post. Reading that is likely to have a person believe that they are those things, that they do those things, whether it is true of them or not.

Furthermore, it seems to include no advice or help regarding what to do if those things were true of you, it is simply a clusterfuck of negative words.

i dont get people like that. someone who takes one thread like that and internalizes it. confused between possible, sometimes, typical, probable, always, etc. its typical...you have done this once so you ARE the same as someone who does this always.

he needs a woman to read and to ignore the words and say...aawwww, your hurting, rest your head in my boobs

 

[PeaceBaby]

Wow, someone needs a hug. Sorry for the pain you're in.

 

[PeaceBaby]

he needs a woman to read and to ignore the words and say...aawwww, your hurting, rest your head in my boobs

lmao, I posted then saw your post above mine.

Well, I offered a hug, but head in the boobs will need to be someone else's job.

 

[Poki]

lmao, I posted then saw your post above mine.

Well, I offered a hug, but head in the boobs will need to be someone else's job.

thats Fe job. he would piss off Fi as they say, aww, here put your head in my boobs as they move, he hits head on table, and they walk off...lol

 

[Mal12345]

These seem like hate threads, but they are in actuality tough love threads.

And they don't necessarily describe all people of a type, only the neurotic ones. Now I predict someone here will slap me down for using a psychiatric term. But this isn't rocket science or brain surgery. It's more like brain surgery I guess, but much simpler because words like "neurotic" have definitions that are easy to understand. If you're neurotic then you're going to be internally conflicted, angry, anxious, and depressed, even (and especially) if you aren't aware of having these traits.

For example, a woman I used to know described herself as having no anger at all. But she was also extremely passive. This was the result of deeply repressed anger. I'm not speculating, that's how it was. Her therapist tried to instill some anger in her by pressing down on her face with a large pillow during a therapy session. But it didn't work, and the therapist had to let off so she wouldn't suffocate. Her anger is so repressed that she would rather die from suffocation than feel anything negative. This all was the result (she said) of her son attempting to murder her. Before that event, she said, she was much more alive inside.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

For example, a woman I used to know described herself as having no anger at all. But she was also extremely passive. This was the result of deeply repressed anger. I'm not speculating, that's how it was. Her therapist tried to instill some anger in her by pressing down on her face with a large pillow during a therapy session. But it didn't work, and the therapist had to let off so she wouldn't suffocate. Her anger is so repressed that she would rather die from suffocation than feel anything negative. This all was the result (she said) of her son attempting to murder her. Before that event, she said, she was much more alive inside.

Whoah. That doesn't sound like ethical therapy to me. I feel really sorry for that client.
I've known people extremely repressed to the point of feeling no anger, but also expressing an extremely, extremely passive form of aggression. Violating someone to trigger their anger is not ethical. I know a strongly religious woman who was brutally raped, but she insists on forgiving the attacker and she suffers from a lot of passive aggression and control. The point is that even if the therapist actively harmed such a passive person, it is unlikely to trigger rage when it is suppressed. You have to get at the root of why that person fears anger so much. They need to feel safety not violation. It is safety that will enable the rage to come through. It is suppressed typically out of fear, so adding fear will further suppress it.

I'm sorry you've dealt with difficulties as well. I'm also upset about the treatment of your friend with the suppressed anger.

Edit: The therapist should lose their license. If that isn't something you can pursue, I hope your friend can at least find a different therapist. That is a serious offense that was committed with the pillow.

 

[Myths Of Zephyr]

Perhaps because I have too many emotional problems that I actually found this describes me pretty well. It's what I seem to think of myself. I didn't get offended by it. Also, I know the thread's title is a rhetorical question but to answer that, Idk. You think Fi would help you figure out why but it doesn't ._.. Oh and I'm pretty neurotic so that's probably why it applies to me.

 

[magpie]

I'm so proud the OP is TypC's Featured Member.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm sorry to hear you are so upset with an ex girlfriend.

 

[ThaumaturgicTheorist]

impulse post

 

[cascadeco]

Over the years I've read a lot of complaints about terrible Si types and those horrible INTJs, but those criticisms are usually being leveled by Fi types who have their own evil tendencies.

You seem to be soooo independent, but you're not. You only think you are. At one point in your life you truly were independent, your values were set and stable; but then you lost confidence in them, in yourself. And now it's gone and you don't want it to be that way. So you lead a life of subtle pretense which fools nobody but yourself. You need people yet you despise them at the same time because they make your neediness more obvious. And it's not just people in general, you need specific people to be reliant upon you and never leave, just as you rely on them to help dispel your feelings of abandonment. You curse them and cast them out, and then either come crawling back or manipulate them into taking you back. These shameless manipulations are a cover up for a deeper lie: you are a charlatan, an intellectual and emotional fraud without a single original idea to call your own. You would like to believe they are original to you, but you plagiarized them from someone else, usually one person who serves as the secret source. At best, you would call that person an influence; but "cause" is a better word for it. In other words, you are effect of someone else's reality, and have no individual existence to call your own.

In an effort to try to take your post seriously, why do you think this type of depression and neurosis is specific to Fi (and if so, why?), vs instead more of an insanely unhealthy level of enneagram(s), or codependency/chronic self esteem issues, or? Do you think Fi alone causes this to occur, ie xxFJ's never plagiarize from others? Or in reality everyone plagiarizes, thus everyone is a charlatan, it's just according to theory Fi thinks they don't and thus they get sucked into the neurotic abyss you are trying to describe?

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Her therapist tried to instill some anger in her by pressing down on her face with a large pillow during a therapy session. But it didn't work, and the therapist had to let off so she wouldn't suffocate. Her anger is so repressed that she would rather die from suffocation than feel anything negative.

I find it hard to believe a licensed therapist would do this. (I'm not saying I believe you're being dishonest- I'm just saying it's easier for me to believe someone in that grapevine got their facts wrong than it is to believe that happened.)

That being said- if such a thing did happen- I wouldn't imagine that it didn't work because her anger is so repressed, I'd imagine it didn't work because it's an ineffective (and insane) approach to making someone conscious of their emotions.

 

[Mal12345]

I find it hard to believe a licensed therapist would do this. (I'm not saying I believe you're being dishonest- I'm just saying it's easier for me to believe someone in that grapevine got their facts wrong than it is to believe that happened.)

That being said- if such a thing did happen- I wouldn't imagine that it didn't work because her anger is so repressed, I'd imagine it didn't work because it's an ineffective (and insane) approach to making someone conscious of their emotions.

It's been a long day so I'll start with this, the easiest post to answer. This information came from the person herself, not from the grapevine. She explained to us that her anger is so repressed that nothing can bring it out. She said that it occurred after a traumatic event and resulted from her son attempting to murder her. She ended up in a mental institution for some time. She was married and also told us that she is frigid. So I guess that goes along with it: the lack of anger, the lack of energy, the lack of passion for life in general.