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  1. #21
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    how would an Ni dom gone obessive tone it down without relying on Se ?
    I N V I C T U S

  2. #22
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AvereX View Post
    how would an Ni dom gone obessive tone it down without relying on Se ?
    You mean, you're stuck in introverted what if or fantasy mode and want to snap out of it or you're just trying to add some balance/practicality to life. Don't want to go off on my own Ni interpretation of your question
    edcoaching

  3. #23
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    Emails?
    Not trying to be funny...I'm just thinking of all the phenomenal correspondence I have with my ISTP brother/INTP colleagues via email. I also find that conversation is often around common interests rather than relationships, like movies or books or music. They might lead to more personal conversations, but that sharing of ideas is often the key...
    Ah, okay. I think we're good then. We try to go for a walk each evening and we do a lot of good talking then. We also try to go out to lunch once a week.

    I get paranoid about things sometimes because we both come from not very healthy family situations and we really want better for ourselves and our kids, so thank you for your thoughts. I feel reassured.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #24
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    You mean, you're stuck in introverted what if or fantasy mode and want to snap out of it or you're just trying to add some balance/practicality to life. Don't want to go off on my own Ni interpretation of your question
    yes
    I N V I C T U S

  5. #25
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AvereX View Post
    yes
    Okay...if you don't want to go with Se (and are you nuts or is there snow on the ground where you live now) then your choices are using your Feeling or Thinking functions--and note I didn't put the orientation on (E or I) because that depends.

    Most introverts get stuck by staying in their inner world, so I'd have to recommend you find some external activity that lets you use F or T--and that is also relaxing. If I'm coaching executives, I haul the Introverts out of their offices to see what's really happening. I plunk the Extraverts down with a pad of paper and make them journal. Switching worlds helps.

    If you just need variety, then watching a dumb movie either to cry (F) or to pick it apart for why it's stupid (T) can be really relaxing, rather than watching Pan's Labrynthe or something else that's meaningful...

    If work uses too much N or S, find some after-hours activity that lets you help others (could be helping friends cook dinner, not some big effort if there's no time) or solve problems or plan. One of my INTJ friends...whenever work gets painful, she starts planning out new bulbs might go in her garden (only problem is she needs a new yard now...)

    I make myself meet with one group of Extraverted friends (there's only three of them) who are in the same life stage as me so it's easy to talk about dilemmas and get silly about some of it.

    I also have standing theater tickets with my INTJ friend and we book the time so we have at least an hour for talking as well. Again, using Feeling and Thinking to "bond".

    I do also use Se though...piano playing, trying new recipes where I need to pay attention first time through, working out...they're great stress relievers...

    If you're stuck in an ongoing, I-can't-get-to-meaning-in-life or I'm-not-making-the-changes-I-want...
    • You might use Thinking to figure out what is really important to you. Talk it through with a friend so it's E, not I, so you don't just sit with possibilities. For example, I've got a really simple little set of guidelines for what I'll say yes to. Task forces, not committees. Travel for work only if it's spread out enough. My stuff I do with schools before any other clients. Etc. It's kept me out of a lot of "WHy did I ever say I'd..."
    • Similarly, figure out your values (if you need a list to sort, PM me). Then compare them to your workplace/school commitments/family dilemmas/whatever is going on. Where are there conflicts? Is there something you can do about it? Often I counsel people who think they're hopelessly stuck and when they can actually name the values that are in conflict, they're able to figure out a way to cope.


    Is this at all in the right direction?
    edcoaching

  6. #26
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    Is this at all in the right direction?
    no
    i wanted a way to avoid Se going crazy
    I N V I C T U S

  7. #27
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Well, I enjoyed the post.

    Although with regard to your earlier post, ec . . . I'm still not sure if I'm a p or j, but I did learn a new way of identifying if others are P or J. *smiles*
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  8. #28
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AvereX View Post
    no
    i wanted a way to avoid Se going crazy
    You mean like Se takes over and either makes you look like a fool or turns into obsession?
    edcoaching

  9. #29
    Senior Member edcoaching's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haight View Post
    Well, I enjoyed the post.

    Although with regard to your earlier post, ec . . . I'm still not sure if I'm a p or j, but I did learn a new way of identifying if others are P or J. *smiles*
    Um, that's almost certain sign of INTP...when people just can't decide they're almost always INFP or INTP, those most called to uniqueness in this world.
    edcoaching

  10. #30
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edcoaching View Post
    Um, that's almost certain sign of INTP...when people just can't decide they're almost always INFP or INTP, those most called to uniqueness in this world.
    I think I'm close to the truth.

    If you don't mind, let's do this: You ask me five questions and I'll answering them honestly and seriously. That will be hard on me, but I think this is important.

    Okay. . . go!
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

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