Is Being Overtly Friendly on the Forum And/or Vent an Indicator of Fe?

[Dreamer]

Part of this post just has to do with my being unable to pick up Fe as readily as many others on this forum. Leave that to horrible function descriptions of Fe. But really, I find both functions to be equally atrocious as described online. People that see Fi as whiny, selfish, what have you, is only seeing the negative, potentially unhealthy variants of the function users.

As far as I'm concerned, being friendly has nothing to do with Fe or Fi. If it's a value an Fi user holds, then all they're doing is acting out on that value. My friendliness comes from a collection of personal values that I have accumulated over time based on past experience (to use myself as an example) so on the surface, it may appear as Fe...I guess but being friendly, isn't a value in itself. Though, yes, that is what everyone sees.

In short, help me to understand, what is it that you guys are all picking up on when determining when one person is Fe or Fi? Claiming that Fi users are emotionally cold to others is obviously a stereotype.

I do have a good idea of what Fe is in relation to Te and as a feeling function for the user because certainly (thanks to the Fe thread I started a while back), Fe users feel their personal emotions and hold values too! But what signs are you guys picking up on that are displayed outwardly, that leads you to label a person as preferring Fe or Fi for that matter?

Thanks in advance!

 

[Hawthorne]

Friendliness does not inherently make one an Fe type but Fe is inherently "showy" with it's ethical evaluations while Fi is reserved and "self-defensive" as indicated in the quotes below. When someone makes a habit of establishing the baseline, expressing themselves aloud rather than through "being", and inviting others to participate in that environment (sometimes based on pre-established ground rules), then that will come across as Fe. Fi does not care about fostering or maintaining that broad experience. It is more "stingy" and "selfish" in that sense. It wants to hold on to the intensity inside itself for as long as it can because it feels "purer". Sharing any of that taints it which leads to misunderstanding so if you can't "feel it" or "see it" yourself you'll never understand it since it inherently deals with subjective evaluations where words will often fail or only make sense to that individual.

PSYCHOLOGICAL TYPES

3. Feeling (Extraverted)

Feeling in the extraverted attitude is orientated by objective data, i.e. the object is the
indispensable determinant of the kind of feeling. It agrees with objective values. If one has
always known feeling as a subjective fact, the nature of extraverted feeling will not immediately
be understood, since it has freed itself as fully as possible from the subjective factor, and has,
instead, become wholly subordinated to the influence of the object. Even where it seems to show
a certain independence of the quality of the concrete object, it is none the less under the spell of.
traditional or generally valid standards of some sort. I may feel constrained, for instance, to use
the predicate 'beautiful' or 'good', not because I find the object 'beautiful' or 'good' from my own
subjective feeling, but because it is fitting and politic so to do; and fitting it certainly is,
inasmuch as a contrary opinion would disturb the general feeling situation. A feeling-judgment
such as this is in no way a simulation or a lie -- it is merely an act of accommodation. A picture,
for instance, may be termed beautiful, because a picture that is hung in a drawing-room and
bearing a well-known signature is generally assumed to be beautiful, or because the predicate
'ugly' might offend the family of the fortunate possessor, or because there is a benevolent
intention on the part of the visitor to create a pleasant feeling-atmosphere, to which end
everything must be felt as agreeable. Such feelings are governed by the standard of the objective
determinants. As such they are genuine, and represent the total visible feeling-function.


In precisely the same way as extraverted thinking strives to rid itself of subjective influences,
extraverted feeling has also to undergo a certain process of differentiation, before it is finally
denuded of every subjective [p. 447] trimming. The valuations resulting from the act of feeling
either correspond directly with objective values or at least chime in with certain traditional and
generally known standards of value. This kind of feeling is very largely responsible for the fact
that so many people flock to the theatre, to concerts, or to Church, and what is more, with
correctly adjusted positive feelings. Fashions, too, owe their existence to it, and, what is far more
valuable, the whole positive and wide-spread support of social, philanthropic, and such like
cultural enterprises. In such matters, extraverted feeling proves itself a creative factor. Without
this feeling, for instance, a beautiful and harmonious sociability would be unthinkable. So far
extraverted feeling is just as beneficent and rationally effective as extraverted thinking. But this
salutary effect is lost as soon as the object gains an exaggerated influence. For, when this
happens, extraverted feeling draws the personality too much into the object, i.e. the object
assimilates the person, whereupon the personal character of the feeling, which constitutes its
principal charm, is lost. Feeling then becomes cold, material, untrustworthy. It betrays a secret
aim, or at least arouses the suspicion of it in an impartial observer. No longer does it make that
welcome and refreshing impression the invariable accompaniment of genuine feeling; instead,
one scents a pose or affectation, although the egocentric motive may be entirely unconscious.


Such overstressed, extraverted feeling certainly fulfils æsthetic expectations, but no longer does
it speak to the heart; it merely appeals to the senses, or -- worse still -- to the reason. Doubtless it
can provide æsthetic padding for a situation, but there it stops, and beyond that its effect is nil. It
has become sterile. Should this process go further, a strangely contradictory dissociation of
feeling develops; every object is seized upon with feeling- [p. 448] valuations, and numerous
relationships are made which are inherently and mutually incompatible. Since such aberrations
would be quite impossible if a sufficiently emphasized subject were present, the last vestige of a
real personal standpoint also becomes suppressed. The subject becomes so swallowed up in
individual feeling processes that to the observer it seems as though there were no longer a subject

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of feeling but merely a feeling process. In such a condition feeling has entirely forfeited its
original human warmth, it gives an impression of pose, inconstancy, unreliability, and in the
worst cases appears definitely hysterical.

PSYCHOLOGICAL TYPES

3. Feeling (Introverted)

Introverted feeling is determined principally by the subjective factor. This means that the feeling judgment
differs quite as essentially from extraverted feeling as does the introversion of thinking
from extraversion. It is unquestionably difficult to give an intellectual presentation of the
introverted feeling process, or even an approximate [p. 490] description of it, although the
peculiar character of this kind of feeling simply stands out as soon as one becomes aware of it at
all. Since it is primarily controlled by subjective preconditions, and is only secondarily
concerned with the object, this feeling appears much less upon the surface and is, as a rule,
misunderstood. It is a feeling which apparently depreciates the object; hence it usually becomes
noticeable in its negative manifestations. The existence of a positive feeling can be inferred only
indirectly, as it were. Its aim is not so much to accommodate to the objective fact as to stand
above it, since its whole unconscious effort is to give reality to the underlying images. It is, as it
were, continually seeking an image which has no existence in reality, but of which it has had a
sort of previous vision. From objects that can never fit in with its aim it seems to glide
unheedingly away. It strives after an inner intensity, to which at the most, objects contribute only
an accessory stimulus. The depths of this feeling can only be divined -- they can never be clearly
comprehended. It makes men silent and difficult of access; with the sensitiveness of the mimosa,
it shrinks from the brutality of the object, in order to expand into the depths of the subject. It puts
forward negative feeling-judgments or assumes an air of profound indifference, as a measure of
self-defence.

Primordial images are, of course, just as much idea as feeling. Thus, basic ideas such as God,
freedom, immortality are just as much feeling-values as they are significant as ideas. Everything,
therefore, that has been said of the introverted thinking refers equally to introverted feeling, only
here everything is felt while there it was thought. But the fact that thoughts can generally be
expressed more intelligibly than feelings demands a more than ordinary descriptive or artistic
capacity before the real wealth of this feeling can be even approximately [p. 491] presented or
communicated to the outer world. Whereas subjective thinking, on account of its unrelatedness,
finds great difficulty in arousing an adequate understanding, the same, though in perhaps even
higher degree, holds good for subjective feeling. In order to communicate with others it has to
find an external form which is not only fitted to absorb the subjective feeling in a satisfying
expression, but which must also convey it to one's fellowman in such a way that a parallel
process takes place in him. Thanks to the relatively great internal (as well as external) similarity
of the human being, this effect can actually be achieved, although a form acceptable to feeling is
extremely difficult to find, so long as it is still mainly orientated by the fathomless store of
primordial images. But, when it becomes falsified by an egocentric attitude, it at once grows

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unsympathetic, since then its major concern is still with the ego. Such a case never fails to create
an impression of sentimental self-love, with its constant effort to arouse interest and even morbid
self-admiration just as the subjectified consciousness of the introverted thinker, striving after an
abstraction of abstractions, only attains a supreme intensity of a thought-process in itself quite
empty, so the intensification of egocentric feeling only leads to a contentless passionateness,
which merely feels itself. This is the mystical, ecstatic stage, which prepares the way over into
the extraverted functions repressed by feeling, just as introverted thinking is pitted against a
primitive feeling, to which objects attach themselves with magical force, so introverted feeling is
counterbalanced by a primitive thinking, whose concretism and slavery to facts passes all
bounds. Continually emancipating itself from the relation to the object, this feeling creates a
freedom, both of action and of conscience, that is only answerable to the subject, and that may
even renounce all traditional values. But so much the more [p. 492] does unconscious thinking
fall a victim to the power of objective facts.

 

[Forever]

[MENTION=23915]Sinclair[/MENTION] is right.

I'm a Fe user who has been using shadowy Fi and I can now differentiate between the two. (Note that my Fi in my shadow slot is nowhere in comparison to those who have Fi in their normal function stack)

Those on the forum who maintain a constant jubilant vibe may likely be an Fe user. They want to make an emotional effect on the forum, the Fi user will want to embrace on their on own emotions and ride with the rivers of emotional current.

 

[Dreamer]

Thanks [MENTION=23915]Sinclair[/MENTION] and [MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]! Though, I'm still trying to see if there are other tells. All I've picked up on in terms of patterns so far since being on this forum is simply, that the more friendly forum members tend to be labeled Fe, so that's all I really have to go off of. There has to be more that others are picking up on, isn't there??

I can feel Fe in person though fairly easily, since my ISFJ...maybe ESFJ best friend bleeds the stuff as an obvious example for me if I ever wanted a reminder of what it is. I mean...damn does he lay it on me thick. But on an internet forum, where you don't get that same face to face interaction and are able to pick up on those more subtle vibes, what other indicators are there?