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I've Figured it Out: Distinguishing Someone as S or N

Usehername

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May 30, 2007
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So my ISFJ mom and I were talking; she mentioned how someone had commented to her that my little bro (INFP) was sitting alone in the field at his school; should they be worried? She replied, "no"... anyway she was relating the story to me, my response was, "of course not, he's just daydreaming".

She looked at me blankly, and said, "no. i've done stuff like that too. Sometimes I just like to sit and listen to teh birds and look at the beautiful grass and enjoy the nice clouds..."

And I was like, "No. He was daydreaming".

And she responded, "No. You're brother's a deep thinker" We bickered; I knew I was right.
I asked her how often she daydreamed. She replied "never". She asked me, I said "several times a day, often for long periods".
---

When I told my bro about this later, he laughed until he realized I was serious when she thought he never daydreamed. His response? "What does she think deep thinkers do?!"

Anyway.

So we asked my ESFJ sister; she daydreams "maybe once a month". My bro talked to three of his friends; two thought he was crazy for "having conversations in his head" and one could totally relate.


I think we've stumbled on the jackpot, guys. Just ask someone if they daydream, and if so, how often. There yah go. That's the divider!

(Although a very balanced S/N might not give a definitive answer, I suppose.)
 

Natrushka

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Hmmm. I'll try it later. I live with an S. I don't know if he daydreams, but he sure practices what he's going to say a lot. Out loud sometimes. Daydreaming. Interesting. (In a good way, Economica!)
 

The Ü™

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I've come to realize that shyness seems to have more of a connection with N types, regardless of an I/E preference. When you think of that, it does make sense, since an N's vivid imagination of what could happen could lead them to never act upon their desires. Obviously, N's also tend to be quite paranoid.

An dominant Ne, however, will be more gregarious in dealing with their shyness by maybe trying to impress the object of their affection in unusual or indirect ways, such as cutting themselves to seek attention or dressing in funky clothing.

I've never noticed any sort of shyness with Introverted Sensing types. With them, it seems that once they tried things out the first time, they're more confident in the future. Although they seem more reserved, there isn't really much that's abnormal in their expressions.

So shyness could actually be some indication of an S/N preference.
 

Nighthawk

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Nice work. I'll add it to my small list of type questions.
 

The Ü™

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I think there's a Hooter's on Uranus!
 

laughing dolphin

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She looked at me blankly, and said, "no. i've done stuff like that too. Sometimes I just like to sit and listen to teh birds and look at the beautiful grass and enjoy the nice clouds..."

I actually wish I was more able to simply sit and take in the beauty of the world for more than just a passing moment, to just look and appreciate without my mind automatically going off on it's own...and I just can't. But I wish I could and I'm trying to be more mindful of my surroundings, to pay more attention (it actually is something I'm working on).

That aside, I also have an ISFJ mom and I know when I've told her I spend a lot of time in my head, she doesn't quite get what I mean, at least not the extent of it.
 

Kyrielle

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Anyway.

So we asked my ESFJ sister; she daydreams "maybe once a month". My bro talked to three of his friends; two thought he was crazy for "having conversations in his head" and one could totally relate.


I think we've stumbled on the jackpot, guys. Just ask someone if they daydream, and if so, how often. There yah go. That's the divider!

(Although a very balanced S/N might not give a definitive answer, I suppose.)

Interesting. To show that age makes a difference with this, I had a similar conversation with my ESFJ mother not too long ago and I found out that she holds conversations in her head and will occassionally daydream. However, her version of the mental conversations are for far more practical purposes than my version...even her daydreams a little more realistic in nature. I've definitely noticed that in the past five years, she's become decidedly more open and understanding to how Ns think and behave. (My guess this is from observing and talking to my brother and I.)
 

Natrushka

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I don't know about shyness. One of the shiest people I know is an S. And I certainly am not shy :blush:

Any shy Ss out there?
 

rivercrow

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I actually wish I was more able to simply sit and take in the beauty of the world for more than just a passing moment, to just look and appreciate without my mind automatically going off on it's own...and I just can't. But I wish I could and I'm trying to be more mindful of my surroundings, to pay more attention (it actually is something I'm working on).

That aside, I also have an ISFJ mom and I know when I've told her I spend a lot of time in my head, she doesn't quite get what I mean, at least not the extent of it.

It seems like when you go wool-gathering, you go in, not out, which would make sense.... :thinking: :)
 

ptgatsby

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Theory: It has more to do with being I--P (dominant Fi and Ti) than with being N/S.

Any ISxPs want to knock me out of the water?

(Inward processing is nearly the definition of daydreaming, is it not?)
 

rivercrow

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Theory: It has more to do with being I--P (dominant Fi and Ti) than with being N/S.

Any ISxPs want to knock me out of the water?

(Inward processing is nearly the definition of daydreaming, is it not?)

That makes sense, too.

Hopefully "?" will come set us straight. :D
 

laughing dolphin

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It seems like when you go wool-gathering, you go in, not out, which would make sense.... :thinking: :)

Indeed, I wish I could start a cottage industry with all of this wool I've been gathering... ;)

And Kyrielle, my mom also tells me she daydreams, but when I've asked her what about she always describes winning the lottery, quitting her job and moving to someplace nice like Maine. And that's it. Then again, who am I to say? Maybe mom has dreamed this whole thing out in exquisite detail and just wants to keep it to herself? I dunno...
 

rivercrow

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LOL...I feel like making some kind of type-biased comment about Sensors dreaming in practicalities and iNtuitives dreaming in possibilities, but that's just wrong bad.

Someone can hit me with the whack-thunk stick.
 

The Ü™

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Theory: It has more to do with being I--P (dominant Fi and Ti) than with being N/S.

Any ISxPs want to knock me out of the water?

(Inward processing is nearly the definition of daydreaming, is it not?)

Regardless, Intuition is an inward and subjective process. The difference is expression.

And besides, I mostly related shyness to paranoia. Paranoia, which focuses on imaginary possibilities, is undoubtedly an N function. At least, that's how my shyness is experienced.
 

laughing dolphin

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Have just been in contact with some elves and they are more than happy to take my wool and spin it into gold for a forty percent cut on the profit...who knew elves were so shrewd?
Anyway.
I'm quite interested in what others have to say about daydreaming... For me, dominant Ni, then Fe...I tend to daydream about the way I think things could be, the way I think it should be because I really think life would be better that way, for all of us, and in these daydreams I am a crusader...who is actually successful. Then again I also daydream about being a successful writer, someone who can craft stories or essays that make other people go "ohhhh.......wait. Wow" so what do I know? My daydreams are all over the place...
 

htb

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Here is how you can narrow down the search by four types: sensors reflexively touch computer screens as part of an explanation, and this drives judging intuitives crazy.
 

ptgatsby

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Regardless, Intuition is an inward and subjective process. The difference is expression.

And besides, I mostly related shyness to paranoia. Paranoia, which focuses on imaginary possibilities, is undoubtedly an N function. At least, that's how my shyness is experienced.

Intuition, by MBTI definition, is neither inward or outward on it's own. Sensing isn't either.

Shyness, in theory, is determined by the strength of negative social reinforcement over positive social reinforcement; I/E, biologically, is supposedly similarly derived. If one does not recieved positive feedback (biologically - meaning your body does get "high" off of it) but does recieved negative feedback (this is more socially conditioned), you are likely to be introverted. Course, this also depends on what you mean by shy - timid has a lot to do with being more agreeable (conflict avoidant), etc.

As far as paranoid goes, in terms of personality disorders, N is biased towards paranoid over other psychiatric issues... which follows, since Ns are the ones that see things that aren't there. N-S was derived from delusional paranoid extremes no less! However, the main indicator for these issues isn't registered in the MBTI, and the other three traits were also represented (Being ITP equivalents, interestingly enough).
 
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