I find this type most difficult to deal with. They seem to have as many strands of thinking/ feeling going on as I do but with an orchestra of values and supposed tos attached to it all. I feel like I'm tweaking the strands of a spiders web when I speak to them and try to be of help or be friendly. Honestly I tend to end up treating them like paranoid little buggers even though I know they are about the nicest people on the planet!
Anyhow I had a discussion with my father one day on how to deal with an ENFP with a problem. I'll try to relay.
#2 So what?
#3 What now?
#1 - Establish what is wrong.
#2 - Establish why this is a problem.
#3 - Ask them what they intend to do about it.
Apparently though if the circle does not work and all suggested solutions (step #3) are batted away then there is a step #3a which goes something like "well shut up about it then", based on the theory that on rare occasions an ENFP will rant and rave to vent but will end up taking everyone else with them into this emotional turmoil. Only ever done unwittingly (in my personal experience) it is still destructive.
I realise that any ENFP reading this is liable never to talk to me again but I hope it's helpful none the less. Comments welcome.