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  1. #1
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Default ENFP :- A brief owners manual.

    I find this type most difficult to deal with. They seem to have as many strands of thinking/ feeling going on as I do but with an orchestra of values and supposed tos attached to it all. I feel like I'm tweaking the strands of a spiders web when I speak to them and try to be of help or be friendly. Honestly I tend to end up treating them like paranoid little buggers even though I know they are about the nicest people on the planet!

    Anyhow I had a discussion with my father one day on how to deal with an ENFP with a problem. I'll try to relay.

    #1 What?
    #2 So what?
    #3 What now?


    #1 - Establish what is wrong.
    #2 - Establish why this is a problem.
    #3 - Ask them what they intend to do about it.

    Apparently though if the circle does not work and all suggested solutions (step #3) are batted away then there is a step #3a which goes something like "well shut up about it then", based on the theory that on rare occasions an ENFP will rant and rave to vent but will end up taking everyone else with them into this emotional turmoil. Only ever done unwittingly (in my personal experience) it is still destructive.

    Note :-
    I realise that any ENFP reading this is liable never to talk to me again but I hope it's helpful none the less. Comments welcome.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Shimpei's Avatar
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    Default

    Do you own an ENFP?

  3. #3
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimpei View Post
    Do you own an ENFP?
    Well when your walking them daily and feeding them whenever they start whimpering I'd say they own you!


    (It's just a turn of phrase Shimpei.)
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shimpei View Post
    Do you own an ENFP?
    He did, but it died, and he flushed it down the toilet.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I wouldn't try to control an ENFP. Just go along for the ride. It will be an amazing ride. ENFPs are some of my favorite people.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #6
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I wouldn't try to control an ENFP. Just go along for the ride. It will be an amazing ride. ENFPs are some of my favorite people.
    Not even I expect miracles but I'd like to be of some use in an advisory capacity. Also it'd be nice to make some sense of the larger picture too.

    I have an obsession with things making sense relatively. ENFPs tend to push my understanding of this. They get it but I'm like Hence I've been looking at pointers for a while. The OP represents ones that work.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  7. #7
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I think I met an ENFP (ENFX?) last night. Good times. We talked for two hours and didn't even know each other's name.

    I had a class with an ENFP and we clicked pretty well. I could see some friction with the J/P and she was a little flightier than me (not much, just enough to be annoying) but generally good experiences.

  8. #8
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Eh?
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

  9. #9
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Eh?
    It didn't make much sense to me to be honest until I started applying it.

    Like I say, it works... doesn't mean I know why
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Gen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    #1 What?
    #2 So what?
    #3 What now?


    #1 - Establish what is wrong.
    #2 - Establish why this is a problem.
    #3 - Ask them what they intend to do about it.

    Apparently though if the circle does not work and all suggested solutions (step #3) are batted away then there is a step #3a which goes something like "well shut up about it then", based on the theory that on rare occasions an ENFP will rant and rave to vent but will end up taking everyone else with them into this emotional turmoil. Only ever done unwittingly (in my personal experience) it is still destructive.

    Comments welcome.
    It doesn't work. It's so obviously an ENTJ way to deal with things. I can only see how this can work for an ENFP if it's for work related situations, relayed by an ENTJ superior. For anything else, an ENFP needs understanding and compassion more than someone to take their hand through the decision making process. They aren't retarded.

    You can't make them look at every situation impersonally and then if it doesn't help tell them to stfu! That won't fix the problem, that will make them feel as if now they have another problem, a friend who doesn't care about them! For an ENFP who has a problem you listen to them and try to understand them. Tell them they are justified in feeling the way they do. Ask them what their options are, maybe suggest other options. Ask them what result they could not live with. Help them figure out the best way to get where they want to go in the way that feels best. Be a friend, not a General.

    I'm sorry, I've heard this tactic before and it's just so not beneficial for ENFP's. It shocks me, really.

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