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  1. #11
    Senior Member Dom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    First off... public what? This is all, as always, musings dear boy. I make no specific reference to any particular post or happening and nor do I intend to except within the bounds of this thread. If I have seemingly inferred something specific I assure you it's quite accidental and unintentional.
    Oh no, I'm not thinking of any specific moment or anything like that my dear old friend. I meant public in general. Say I do something, a breach of a value, I may choose tell the rest of the world (public) my clever justification for it while realising that I don't really believe a word of it myself (private). That is what I meant!

    As for the ENFP thing... though I did say I'd not comment upon it... such fascinating creatures though... all those pretty colours...

    *ahem*

    The ENFP thing, can it not be communicated in with the whole "I'm flexing here"? So the communication is more "I'm flexing this once just for you but it's a one off okay?"?
    Yes yes yes, yes it could but then you are nto takign into account that the enfp would rather come up with 100 ways to say the same thing indirectly than saying it directly, and like Gen said about the INTPs they may at first not even realise how much they are resenting this 'bending'. The more important the other person is to the enfp the hard it is to be straight up honest about things (we may lose the other person) despite it being even more important to be honest with them.

    It's a bit like my INTJ friend who gets frustrated at people for not thinking like he does and hence being "wrong" but he doesn't ever explain his thinking nor lead on to the tangents he uses and hence loses even himself. Ergo for him to develop, as you quite rightly condensed in your post, he need to see that the confusion is resulting from his own lack of ability to explain and that if he develops that he should get frustrated less.
    Yeah, but I expect that once he tries to explain some people, having taken offence at his previous attitude, will still stubbornly refuse to understand what he is trying to say. Don't they get some blame? Couldn't they show a little more understanding? Would that not aid him in his attempts to develop (once he is actually trying to)

  2. #12
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dom View Post
    Oh no, I'm not thinking of any specific moment or anything like that my dear old friend. I meant public in general. Say I do something, a breach of a value, I may choose tell the rest of the world (public) my clever justification for it while realising that I don't really believe a word of it myself (private). That is what I meant!
    Ah delusion... that's a different alley. Equally dark and strewn with obstacles and perhaps equally important..
    Quote Originally Posted by Dom View Post
    Yes yes yes, yes it could but then you are nto takign into account that the enfp would rather come up with 100 ways to say the same thing indirectly than saying it directly, and like Gen said about the INTPs they may at first not even realise how much they are resenting this 'bending'. The more important the other person is to the enfp the hard it is to be straight up honest about things (we may lose the other person) despite it being even more important to be honest with them.
    So you've identified the source, now you need to address that source.

    You see just noticing it and labelling it, though a start, achieves little especially if this gives you a sense of achievement and so you sit back on your laurels not realising that you're actually enabling your own lack of development rather than improving upon it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dom View Post
    Yeah, but I expect that once he tries to explain some people, having taken offence at his previous attitude, will still stubbornly refuse to understand what he is trying to say. Don't they get some blame? Couldn't they show a little more understanding? Would that not aid him in his attempts to develop (once he is actually trying to)
    All this is entirely dependant upon whom the other party is. That analysis of the interpersonal dynamics (like the middle management words?) is a might more complex than one topic can cover... it could even spread into a whole field of psychology... shall we name that field MBTI?

    Seriously though... in my opinion in general yes they should carry some of the blame but to point out that another is equally at fault is also engaging in projection and such is unhealthy and yet another method of convincing yourself that languishing in your current state is okay.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  3. #13
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    OP: They call that wisdom, Xander.

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