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Thread: Loneliness

  1. #21

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    Not really... If I'm alone I don't feel lonely. I feel bored. And if I'm bored, I call people or go out right away. Or go online and chat with people in AIM. Or revise lecture notes and what not...

    You can always distract yourself from feeling lonely by making it a point to spend time with good friends.
    "Man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated."
    - Ernest Hemingway

  2. #22
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Eh, I'll answer the OP now.

    I'm very rarely lonely. I usually have the opposite of loneliness, whatever that is. For a long time, I had a hard time remembering what loneliness felt like. (I finally recalled. Not remembering made me feel I was losing my humanity.)

    I do make a point of scheduling "social time" so that I don't completely become the crazy old bird lady. My needs for direct socialization are not very high; I like ambient socialization, though. Less stressful.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
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  3. #23
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KMCE View Post
    Not really... If I'm alone I don't feel lonely. I feel bored. And if I'm bored, I call people or go out right away. Or go online and chat with people in AIM. Or revise lecture notes and what not...

    You can always distract yourself from feeling lonely by making it a point to spend time with good friends.
    Good extrovert answer. When I'm lonely, it usually means I'm bored and I find people to make me not bored.

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tayshaun View Post
    Is loneliness universal?


    I was originally surprised when close ENXX friends (an ENFP and an ENTP) talked about feeling unbearably lonely. They are nearly at all times surrounded by a large circle of friends and cohorts, yet despite this presence, they are not protected from a nagging pang of loneliness.
    There have been many points in my life where I was surrounded by lots of people and had "friends" but was lonely because they weren't fufiling a need I had - which was typically intellecutal/moral. I was always optomistic that I might meet interesting people but had to wade through a lot of duds to get to them. During the process, however, I indeed felt lonely.

    In fact, I would tend to think an extrovert who was cut off from meaningful relationships (ENTPs might have different standards than an ESFP); would typically feel more lonely than introverts becauase their need for socialization with others is greater.

    I guess I'm speaking of something slightly different than the above answers re: boredom. I'm speaking of more of an existential angst/loneliness opposed to merely being bored for the evening. But yeah I agree with them, if I was simply bored I would do what they were saying.

  5. #25
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    nah, I don't know what all those people are talking about. maybe it's true for them, but for me...

    loneliness is completely unrelated to boredom. 100% unrelated.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #26
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    I've rarely been lonely. I have often desired being left alone, however. I don't get that bored either; rich fantasy life Sometimes I desire company though, but it's not due to loneliness, maybe more that I want distraction.

    This signature left intentionally blank.

    Really.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Tayshaun's Avatar
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    Interesting. I thought a majority of people felt lonely no matter what and was wrong.

    The loneliness I feel has nothing to do with boredom. I like being alone and am rarely bored. Books, Internet, exercise and other mediums are largely satisfactory. I actually feel the loneliness at its strongest when with company.

    No, the loneliness I'm talking about is quite similar to the one Jennifer and to a certain extent meanlittlechimp and Usehername expressed. It's the feeling that I cannot connect on a deep level with any person. The feeling that even with closest friends and family members there is something alien about me. It's somehow rooted in existential angst: despairingly not finding any meaning in the lives people around me lead that inspires me. I am probing for a path and I feel very lonely when realizing how incompatible I seem to be with everybody else's world (including INTPs). Although the phrase might sound silly and too "all-encompassing", my loneliness is both vis-a-vis the world at large and individuals. I wonder if this exile is self-imposed because of a difficulty to "open up" or part of my nature. Some kind of narcissism?

  8. #28
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I thought loneliness was a persistent condition. I have felt lonely before but I talk to my family or friends when I do. Sorry if you're looking for a deep and meaningful answer. I guess I don't feel that way very often.

  9. #29
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    Friendship is simply just a tool that people use when they're too lazy to think for themselves. When I see people go to other people for advice, I feel repulsed. It's sickening to see people lose their individuality like that.

    The sad part, though, is that a lot of these people consider themselves individualists, but how is that possible? You lose your individuality right when you connect with another, and thus, you are not one person anymore, but a member of the flock.

    I suppose friendship is valid if it's used for a strategic purpose, such as career advancement, but beyond that, there really is no point.

  10. #30
    shoshaku jushaku rivercrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I suppose friendship is valid if it's used for a strategic purpose, such as career advancement, but beyond that, there really is no point.
    I don't agree with this. Most of my friends are of no strategic career value. Strategic life-enhancement value, yes. I'd say everyone I count as a friend is inherently valuable to me.

    This may segue into another thread, but once I realize I've been designated as a strategic asset or tactical pawn by someone I considered to be a friend, I will disengage from the friendship relationship and restructure it as a business relationship.
    Who rises in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I will do something stupid today?" -- James Hollis
    If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done. -- Ludwig Wittgenstein
    Whaling is illegal in Oklahoma.

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