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Keirsey's soulmates: ENFJ/INTP

Lateralus

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Yeah like I stated above..I think it takes a more mature (not just experience...time) INTP to appreicate the joys ;) of an ENFJ. If he meets one and they are at a similar teen stage I can imagine her scaring the pants off him.
My mother and oldest sister are also extroverted feelers. They scare/frustrate/annoy him, too.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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He was constantly trying to break my F into a T because it was the only letter where we differed.

Did you find that flattering or irritating?

I was "so close" to being just what he demanded.

What? Him?


The only reason they broke up was that he got bored with her.

Nice.

She wasn't intelligent enough for him

And you were?


even though she was enthusiastic about trying to study things with him. Her intelligence would not necessarily be type-dependent, regardless of what the research says about an introvert being more likely to have a high IQ than an extravert, so I would have to say that it is possible for ENFJs and INTPs to be extremely successful. The ENFJ was crazy about the INTP and needed his rationality to balance her. Both gained something from the relationship.

ENFJ's are typically still pretty bright so they can answer the INTP's questions with reason while being contrastingly positive at the same time. if this is true, i can see why the INTP could be attracted to the ENFJ.

I take HUGE exception to the tenor of these comments. I've pulled down high marks all my life, read Hawking and Kaku ALONE (re: no "assistance" from an NT - as if), and kicked several INTPs' asses in the collegiate realm, including my genius ex-bf. In no way are INTPs more intelligent that ANYONE else. I find that supremely pedantic and arrogant, and a persistent issue. I've frequently drawn myself up short to wait on my INT friends to match me. Can I sit down and do long division in my head? No. And neither can my INTJ best friend, even though he has a ridiculously high IQ. Can genius-prone ex-bf walk circles around me mentally if he wanted to? Maybe. Maybe not. Hasn't been able to in 12 years. There are subjects that bore me to tears or things that I'm no good at (like my well-documented numerical dyslexia) that he can take me on, but there are others that we both like and used to "debate" for hours. For sheer processing power, he has me over a barrel, but I'll bet I can arrive at the same point via other means. Just watch me.


My mother and oldest sister are also extroverted feelers. They scare/frustrate/annoy him, too.

Exhibit A as to why an ENFJ would like an INTP but doesn't bother. Who wants to chase down their date and coax him out from under a table? Are you kidding me? I've dated more ENTPs because of this. Not only do they frikkin' respond when you jab them with a pin, they actually behave like you have a brain and show respect for your intelligence instead of making a real "I'm smarter" competition out of it. On top of that, the ENTPs generally are more relaxed, life-experienced and willing to take a chance.

It would be great to find more INTPs - the ones I've dated/been involved with were cosmic. Talk about instant karma. Whatever it is, it's like being boiled in oil and liking it. You just instinctively want to knock them down and sit on them, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. (Granted, that happens to me with both NTP types.) The first guy I was violently attracted to was INTP and it was mutual.
 

Littlelostnf

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My mother and oldest sister are also extroverted feelers. They scare/frustrate/annoy him, too.

Yup and I can imagine that. Are they ENFJ or ESFJ? Also my initial comment was this

I think it's a relationship that will occur mainly (with success) when both are older and have come to know themselves fairly well.

He's a 17 year old INTP. I met one young INTP when he was only just 20. I was (at the time) nine years older than him. At that point he was ready to deal with an extroverted feeler and I was old enough to understand myself and fortunately him too. His mom who annoyed him alot is an introverted feeler. I think he realized the difference between the way we used our primary functions. Give your brother and mom and sister some time. If your mom and sister are healthy balanced Fe's it should eventually work out. :) (altho if the communication is off (N/S) it will def be harder)
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Addendum: I've met a bunch of INTP chicks that I really dig, and would date if you people weren't GIRLS.
 

Littlelostnf

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I take HUGE exception to the tenor of these comments. I've pulled down high marks all my life, read Hawking and Kaku ALONE (re: no "assistance" from an NT - as if), and kicked several INTPs' asses in the collegiate realm, including my genius ex-bf. In no way are INTPs more intelligent that ANYONE else. I find that supremely pedantic and arrogant, and a persistent issue. I've frequently drawn myself up short to wait on my INT friends to match me. Can I sit down and do long division in my head? No. And neither can my INTJ best friend, even though he has a ridiculously high IQ. Can genius-prone ex-bf walk circles around me mentally if he wanted to? Maybe. Maybe not. Hasn't been able to in 12 years. There are subjects that bore me to tears or things that I'm no good at (like my well-documented numerical dyslexia) that he can take me on, but there are others that we both like and used to "debate" for hours. For sheer processing power, he has me over a barrel, but I'll bet I can arrive at the same point via other means. Just watch me.




Exhibit A as to why an ENFJ would like an INTP but doesn't bother. Who wants to chase down their date and coax him out from under a table? Are you kidding me? I've dated more ENTPs because of this. Not only do they frikkin' respond when you jab them with a pin, they actually behave like you have a brain and show respect for your intelligence instead of making a real "I'm smarter" competition out of it. On top of that, the ENTPs generally are more relaxed, life-experienced and willing to take a chance.

It would be great to find more INTPs - the ones I've dated/been involved with were cosmic. Talk about instant karma. Whatever it is, it's like being boiled in oil and liking it. You just instinctively want to knock them down and sit on them, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. (Granted, that happens to me with both NTP types.) The first guy I was violently attracted to was INTP and it was mutual.

Thank you Pink..well said. As for the Instant karma thing...hoo boy. :)
 

Domino

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Thank you Pink..well said.

Straight up. Wasn't just me getting sick of hearing that rot?! Gee, wonder why!


As for the Instant karma thing...hoo boy. :)

*fans self* The ER, not a great place to wanna tear your doctor's shirt off, know what I mean?

Do you find you're attracted to just the Is or do you have a parallel E fetish like me?
 

Jack Flak

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I don't believe I've known any ENFJ potentials, but it's starting to sound like a damned dangerous proposition...*run run run*
 

Littlelostnf

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Straight up. Wasn't just me getting sick of hearing that rot?! Gee, wonder why!




*fans self* The ER, not a great place to wanna tear your doctor's shirt off, know what I mean?

Do you find you're attracted to just the Is or do you have a parallel E fetish like me?

Never met a male ENTP but I've got a female ENTP friend and we clicked straight off. I don't even wanna think how amazing they might be. :wubbie:
 

Domino

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I don't believe I've known any ENFJ potentials, but it's starting to sound like a damned dangerous proposition...*run run run*

*eyes you dubiously*

Aside to LLNF: That one runs like a turkey... it's kinda cute... huh, I'm thinking of Thanksgiving...
 

Littlelostnf

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I don't believe I've known any ENFJ potentials, but it's starting to sound like a damned dangerous proposition...*run run run*

Straight into the arms of the one who loves ya...and can know you pretty well too...are you scared yet? :devil:
 

Domino

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Never met a male ENTP but I've got a female ENTP friend and we clicked straight off. I don't even wanna think how amazing they might be. :wubbie:

*pats* I pity you. ENTPs are worth the price of admission. Affectionate, irreverent, enthusiastic, broody, humorous, smart.

I'm on the flipside - plenty of ENTP guys but no girls. :( Digest and Aelan are the only ones I know, and they're online.
 

Littlelostnf

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*pats* I pity you. ENTPs are worth the price of admission. Affectionate, irreverent, enthusiastic, broody, humorous, smart.

I'm on the flipside - plenty of ENTP guys but no girls. :( Digest and Aelan are the only ones I know, and they're online.

Now you got me chinkin...just where can I russle me up a male ENTP....

"come out come out where ever you are" :smile:

Yeah my ENTP girlfriend is fantastic...she is from europe and intrigued me from the beginning. The two girls she was staying with are ESFJ and ISFJ and while the ESFJ just chats over her and the ENTP lets her..the ISFJ was always afraid that my ENTP friend just didn't like her. She just doesn't talk about the same things as the ISFJ and doesn't chat just to chat. She can be as talkative as the next person but she has to really click. The ESFJ never really notices that my friend didn't really talk back just listened. I suppose when you're the guest of someone you have to at least listen to them. :) No really she loves both of them but when we met we just seemed to have an instant thing and the next 3 times she visited she stayed with me.
 

Domino

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I'll bring the yams!

My fave!

I'll be where they don't even celebrate Thanksgiving by sundown.

Admit it. You like the idea. ENFJs aren't scary - INTPs are afraid to give in to the Fe burn. Consumption in a ball of fire. The only ones who haven't stepped back from it with me are ENTPs. Why? Why is this? They leave my natural state alone while calming me. Why don't INTPs? Why don't they want to TRY.

I love a man who isn't afraid. I love it. I want it. I MUST have it. I won't throw water on myself just to be less "scary". Anyone wanting me only in reduction is a pathogen.
 

Jack Flak

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I don't know what guise to put on now. I seem to have become disarmed.
 

Lateralus

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Yup and I can imagine that. Are they ENFJ or ESFJ? Also my initial comment was this



He's a 17 year old INTP. I met one young INTP when he was only just 20. I was (at the time) nine years older than him. At that point he was ready to deal with an extroverted feeler and I was old enough to understand myself and fortunately him too. His mom who annoyed him alot is an introverted feeler. I think he realized the difference between the way we used our primary functions. Give your brother and mom and sister some time. If your mom and sister are healthy balanced Fe's it should eventually work out. :) (altho if the communication is off (N/S) it will def be harder)
My mother and sister balanced? Hahahaha. Good one. ;)
 

Littlelostnf

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My fave!



Admit it. You like the idea. ENFJs aren't scary - INTPs are afraid to give in to the Fe burn. Consumption in a ball of fire. The only ones who haven't stepped back from it with me are ENTPs. Why? Why is this? They leave my natural state alone while calming me. Why don't INTPs? Why don't they want to TRY.

I love a man who isn't afraid. I love it. I want it. I MUST have it. I won't throw water on myself just to be less "scary". Anyone wanting me only in reduction is a pathogen.

That last bit reminds me of an Anais Nin quote...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
Anais Nin
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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That last bit reminds me of an Anais Nin quote...

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
Anais Nin

I love it. Deeper instinct choosing one that compels you, demands, does not doubt or dismiss. My. That will be with me all day.


She lifted her eyes, feeling him looking. Their eyes met. And each looked again at once, each feeling, in some way, found out by the other. There remained distinct in consciousness, like a vision, the memory of her face... There was a heavy power in her eyes which laid hold of his whole being, as if he had drunk some powerful drug. He had been feeling weak and done before. Now the life came back into him, he felt delivered from his own fretted, daily self....

Lawrence.
 
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