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  1. #61
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    This. Is what. I mean. There's a small ticker tape of profanities scrolling through my brain. I *don't* dig in to just anybody either, so when I finally DO find someone I click with, it's a point of despair when they flake out. (Or turn out to be married... )

    Nor do I...(Dig into someone) and when I do and it doesn't work out..I'm like a black widow..I want to just eat them. I don't give of myself easily (the real me) so if I do...it's like...UGH...I just gave you some of me...I want it back! If we're not together I don't even want you to know... (well that's not how it's been with every guy but two jerks are wandering out there with knowledge they should NOT have!

    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Way long story....I'll pm ya about it.
    Well that's no fun for the rest of us.

  3. #63
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Well that's no fun for the rest of us.
    Did you not just read about me eating people who know to much. Sorry it's so way long that sometimes I bore myself thinking about it let alone "talking about it"
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Did you not just read about me eating people who know to much. Sorry it's so way long that sometimes I bore myself thinking about it let alone "talking about it"
    You drained him of his essence, leaving behind nothing but an empty husk. You removed his tiny heart, putting it in a locket that you like to take out from time to time to look at and smile fondly.

    Yes?

  5. #65
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Three times doesn't seem that rare.
    You don't understand. I'm flush with people all day. The sheer volume of bodies should have me clicking left and right, but it doesn't. I can't just "date". I hate dating. I hate having to be fake and prettied up to impress someone.

    (The third guy, thank goodness he left before anything cosmically awful could happen. You may strike him from the record. He had enough sense and INTP self-control to leave. I can still respect myself too. Marriage is sacred to me.)

    But the other two? I cried for YEARS when they left. I couldn't get on because of them. Wouldn't date. Wouldn't even consider another man. It was a horrendous horrible ripping of my person and I limped along for ages just trying to get myself back together. Even now, I still get jacked up about them and feel like an idiot for crying sometimes when it must be true that they've long since forgotten about me.

    Once people are ground into me, they never. Come. Back. Out. Like splinter too deep in your finger to reach. That's the maddening god-awfulness of it. I'm going to absorb him into myself without any conscious choice on either part and it's going to be a nightmare. Wuthering Heights? That intense mess is for real.

    Some people around here haven't found one yet.
    Neither have I.

    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    It's this level of passion I find intriguing in Fe dom's. If they are good people also, it is also a source of great admiration and respect for me too-- This "wearing their heart on their sleves."

    But I have to be honest when I say that I have never felt that level of passion for anything myself, and that is part of the draw(and the fear).

    I feel I am at my best when calm and collected. I don't really function well when worked-up. So I tend to drive myself towards a "peace-of-mind."

    The problem with this striving is that peace-of-mind, and apathetic are very close together states.

    Perhaps my soul yearns for a way to avoid apathy, while still being calm. To be frank, sometimes I could use a good kick in the rear. But only if it is done with love AND respect will it be appreciated.

    The other major issue is, I have no clue what it is that I (can) give an ExFJ. I don't like to be a free-loader.
    Interesting and insightful post, Y.

    Love and respect are not optional.

    And why would you be a freeloader? Don't you believe you bring your own unique "brand" to the relationship?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #66
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    You drained him of his essence, leaving behind nothing but an empty husk. You removed his tiny heart, putting it in a locket that you like to take out from time to time to look at and smile fondly.

    Yes?
    Well I certainly hope so.
    I'm sure you can't possibly think that ill of me
    you surely must be talking of another type.

    I'd rather have given him a heart but it was not to be.

    Doesn't have one to this day....hmmm maybe I did take his itty bitty ...gotta look amongst the clutter in my hall closet.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  7. #67
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    You don't understand. I'm flush with people all day. The sheer volume of bodies should have me clicking left and right, but it doesn't. I can't just "date". I hate dating. I hate having to be fake and prettied up to impress someone.

    (The third guy, thank goodness he left before anything cosmically awful could happen. You may strike him from the record. He had enough sense and INTP self-control to leave. I can still respect myself too. Marriage is sacred to me.)

    But the other two? I cried for YEARS when they left. I couldn't get on because of them. Wouldn't date. Wouldn't even consider another man. It was a horrendous horrible ripping of my person and I limped along for ages just trying to get myself back together. Even now, I still get jacked up about them and feel like an idiot for crying sometimes when it must be true that they've long since forgotten about me.

    Once people are ground into me, they never. Come. Back. Out. Like splinter too deep in your finger to reach. That's the maddening god-awfulness of it. I'm going to absorb him into myself without any conscious choice on either part and it's going to be a nightmare. Wuthering Heights? That intense mess is for real.
    What the hades is wrong with us...I can't even stand that I'm this way...and yet I am. I'd like to be a cool calm Ms about love and I can't help the intensity. I gotta find myself the man who makes me feel like the Anais quote...WHERE THE HECK IS HE!!!! :steam:
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    I'm sure you can't possibly think that ill of me
    Ill? I'm impressed!

    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    What the hades is wrong with us...I can't even stand that I'm this way...and yet I am. I'd like to be a cool calm Ms about love and I can't help the intensity. I gotta find myself the man who makes me feel like the Anais quote...WHERE THE HECK IS HE!!!! :steam:
    Really... if you are looking for that kind of man, probably not best to look among the INTPs. Sorry, animenagai.

  9. #69
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Ill? I'm impressed!

    Three letter words impress you?


    Really... if you are looking for that kind of man, probably not best to look among the INTPs. Sorry, animenagai.

    Ah well your loss.
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Ah well your loss.
    Yes, I just don't think 95% of the INTPs can give you that.

    "I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."

    The INTP is a detatched observer. Making enormous demands is out of the INTP wheelhouse.

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