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  1. #341
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    The INTP guy at my work : our relationship is one of appreciation of one another
    We also permit our coarse and dark sense of humor

    The INTP gal - we banter like no other and i can she gets my jokes
    She makes certain to tell me that despite not calling me, to come over out of her way to say hello or give me a hug.
    I N V I C T U S

  2. #342
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    The INTP guy at my work : our relationship is one of appreciation of one another
    We also permit our coarse and dark sense of humor

    The INTP gal - we banter like no other and i can she gets my jokes
    She makes certain to tell me that despite not calling me, to come over out of her way to say hello or give me a hug.
    Consider retyping this person.



  3. #343
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Consider retyping this person.
    I often do the same behavior you bolded above. It's simply a natural approach to friendship affirmation.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  4. #344
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Well than I guess I have to consider retyping myself. If a coworker tried to hug me I'd freak out every time. Hugs are for SOs only. I feel like a dirty man-whore if I hug someone else.



  5. #345
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Well than I guess I have to consider retyping myself. If a coworker tried to hug me I'd freak out every time. Hugs are for SOs only. I feel like a dirty man-whore if I hug someone else.
    What do you have against dirty man-whores? I can understand not hugging someone in a professional situation, but what about hugging friends?
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  6. #346
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew_Z View Post
    What do you have against dirty man-whores? I can understand not hugging someone in a professional situation, but what about hugging friends?
    Why would I want to hug my friends? Some of my guy friends are huggy too. The bro hug. Don't like that one much either.



  7. #347
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Consider retyping this person.
    could be INFP
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #348
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Well than I guess I have to consider retyping myself. If a coworker tried to hug me I'd freak out every time. Hugs are for SOs only. I feel like a dirty man-whore if I hug someone else.
    MEOW!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #349
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    MEOW!
    I want my last post to be pretty good, so I'll end it with something I think is profound and encompasses the very essence of my being:

    RAWR!



  10. #350
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if it's considered cool to bring up old threads - I feel like I've seen someone complain about it in other messagespaces so apologies in advance, but I just read this whole thing and wanted to comment on a couple of things...


    As an INTP, I have experienced this soul-mate feeling with an ENFJ. It was completely and totally shocking to me that this was even possible.

    Here's a matter I was just discussing with Sis last night. The recurring fear by the INTP that they'll be consumed somehow or lose identity. That's not what happens, because quite frankly, I hold onto my identity with an iron grip too, and resent any dilution. Do INTPs pick partners, then, based on the idea that this person hits the "mind" marks but will never "own" the INTP on any level?
    No, but that fear does exist. I think immature INTPs would probably look for someone that only hits on the mind. They'll realize their mistake eventually.
    That fear is STRONG with me. Any feeling that a partner is trying to control/change/manipulate will get a very negative reaction from me, with emotional distance as a result. I consider the emotional "port" to be a weakness in my character (I mean that vicerally I feel this, but I also have a logical understanding that emotional openness is necessary for a real relationship and would like to grow away from this feeling). Consequently I have been with only NT types before the malatov cocktail of the ENFJ entered my life. Now it's like the lights have gone on - I was trying to achieve "safe" before, but safe is not happy and is not growing. While NT relationships can work for me (in terms of stability and things being congenial), I find that the superficial connections which seemed so important in the beginning will begin to pale later on when the passion dies down and you being to feel rather more like roommates or friends than lovers.


    IOW, I've never met an emotimnally available INTP ready for a relationship, which doesn't mean they don't exist just that I haven't seen it.
    I have been emotionally available for all my relationships. Which is odd, because I score as a very strong T, but then sometimes I think I might fall into the trap of idealizing myself when taking the test (I consider only logic! F*** emotions!)

    The most important thing is for the INTP to feel safe expressing their inner-most thoughts. Esp. when those thoughts can be abhorrent to the other person. As they will be, because INTPs think of the worst things.
    This is so true. Also, for the INTP, it's easy to be a bit of a chameleon and match the vibes of another person for the sake of harmony, but this always involves hiding certain parts away. Finding that I could be completely honest with the ENFJ, was amazing.
    Ha! Funny you say this. Anyone I've ever really dated has asked me out.
    Myself I am too cowardly to use words to ask someone out (or was, when younger. Now I think if the situation arose I might be man, er, woman enough). Instead, historically 100% of the time (not a large sample size though) I just hooked up with the person. It's the Fe coming out a bit retarded. Hey we made out! See, I like you!

    Also, your observation "They just took what they were handed and called it "being in love", even when the match was clearly bad or destructive," rings very true for me. Even in my relationship now, I take what I'm given and work with what I can. I never bring up things that make me unhappy, or worry me, or maybe talk about something I'd like to be improved, because they are my feelings and I don't think I can back them up, or rationalize them in any kind of argument. I have trouble making a stand when I do not think I can defend myself, and when I air out my grievances, worries, or feelings, I feel defenseless. Also, I'm afraid that me bringing anything like that up, will change the relationship for the worse, so I stay bottled in. Funny this whole thread got brought up too, because I just realized I wasn't as happy as I used to be in my relationship about a week ago . That's what I get for not taking my "emotional temperature" very often. Sometimes you just wake up and one day you wonder how the hell you got to where you are.
    This. This is true. INTPs really really must learn this temperature-taking (I'm lecturing myself here) or they will be faced with abrupt and challenging wake-up calls seemingly out of nowhere but were long-simmering in the background if they think about it.
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

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