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  1. #221
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    I think ENFJs use it to give and gain control
    Whereas ESFJs use it for movement

    The details escape me
    I N V I C T U S

  2. #222
    Senior Member Littlelostnf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Nope. That's not right.

    SFJs can do this, but NFJs don't care directly about social norms. However if you violate their system of morals they can have a similar outburst. An ESFJ and ENFJ could have an outburst about the same thing, say you were being rude to her friend, but they both would have different reasoning for why they were mad.
    and yup...the above sounds close to what is....

    I generally could care less about what people think. I may try to keep all around me happy and such but social norms...ha! whatever!
    for my life is slowed up by thought and the need to understand what I am living.

  3. #223
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    i roast marshmellows with it...

    we use it to keep others warm and understood...
    Smores?

    Quote Originally Posted by Littlelostnf View Post
    Ok I'm having hysterics right now..I typed up this entire post explaining my experiences with ESFJ/ISFJ/ENFJ and ENFP/INFP and ESFPs. I LOST THE WHOLE FLIPPING POST! I'm having hysterics....I'm flipping out!!!!!!!!! I'm going to walk away from this keyboard and try to recreate it when I return. Thanks for responding MacGuffin.
    LOL

  4. #224
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    my date for his prom ate the centerpiece on the table and hung upside down from a tree in a kilt... it didn't bother me... he's a fruit loop, and people were going to stare...

  5. #225
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Littlelostnf .. Retype it, i want to hear what you have to say on this.
    Personally takes a lot to have a breakdown, when i do though everyone feels it. Thank god it isn't often.



    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    Interesting. ideal type - ESTJ, real type - ESTJ
    Go figure!
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  6. #226
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    my date for his prom ate the centerpiece on the table and hung upside down from a tree in a kilt... it didn't bother me... he's a fruit loop, and people were going to stare...
    ...at your boobs?

    What do you use Fe for? What if people don't respect it?

  7. #227
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ...at your boobs?

    What do you use Fe for? What if people don't respect it?
    if they don't respect my feelings, like 99% of the human race is taught to do for the sake of social flow, i assume that they don't respect much of anyones' feelings... no matter who you are, you have feelings, fe or no, and should be treated civilly out of deference for the common human denominator...

  8. #228
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    if they don't respect my feelings, like 99% of the human race is taught to do for the sake of social flow, i assume that they don't respect much of anyones' feelings... no matter who you are, you have feelings, fe or no, and should be treated civilly out of deference for the common human denominator...
    And how do you react?

  9. #229
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    It's this level of passion I find intriguing in Fe dom's. If they are good people also, it is also a source of great admiration and respect for me too-- This "wearing their heart on their sleves."

    But I have to be honest when I say that I have never felt that level of passion for anything myself, and that is part of the draw(and the fear).

    I feel I am at my best when calm and collected. I don't really function well when worked-up. So I tend to drive myself towards a "peace-of-mind."

    The problem with this striving is that peace-of-mind, and apathetic are very close together states.

    Perhaps my soul yearns for a way to avoid apathy, while still being calm. To be frank, sometimes I could use a good kick in the rear. But only if it is done with love AND respect will it be appreciated.

    The other major issue is, I have no clue what it is that I (can) give an ExFJ. I don't like to be a free-loader.
    I had to re-read this thread, but for me this is probably the number one reason why a relationship with an INTP wouldn't work out. I don't even see this so much with ISTPs.

    I'm basing this on the four INTPs I know IRL and from what I see on the forum. Some of the best words that describe me is synergistic and exergonic. I release lots of energy, I've tried to change that I try to blunt it but it's just what happens. The INTPs I know seem so retiring to me, like they should be in some quiet library pondering the secrets of the universe that I have no doubt they will eventually figure out or sitting on a rock next to a tranquil pond. My INTP friend is the one who introduced me to MBTI and she said I scared the hell out of her when we first met. We were roommates in college and I was the first one in our apartment. While I was away at work, she moved in and went out to run errands. Then I came in and saw someone was finally there and was sitting on her bed when she came in and she alleges I assaulted her although I don't really remember that.

    My energy and apparent lack of INTP energy makes me feel like I have to squelch essential parts of myself to keep from discomforting them which eventually ends of discomforting me and I'll begin to act out. Also having a strong emotional connection with another person is important to me and I like cogitating about relationships in all their various forms and talking about them and thinking of ways it can be better and it seems like this just tires INTPs out. It seems like INTPs have problems sustaining that energy and it would be best to be with someone who doesn't require so much, so I guess basically someone who is lower maintenance. Even having to explain why it's important or why such maintenance needs to happen turns me off because (and here I am thinking with my Fe brain) it seems obvious why it needs to be cultivated and maintained.

    I feel like it's easier for me to swing to the INTP side of things for an INTP to swing to mine. I just feel like a lot of resentment would begin to simmer in the relationship and it would just end badly if I constantly have to guide someone through the relationship jungle.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  10. #230
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    And how do you react?
    i find it offensive that anyone should be dismissed out of hand or marginalized b/c that seems to indicate either a) stupidity not to be tolerated in the dismisser, or b) delusional superiority not to be tolerated in the dismisser... which is why i was involved in so many class wars growing up...

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