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  1. #151
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Simply? No. Clearly I'm crazy!



    mnbvcxz: Yeah, I think I vaguely know what you're getting at.

  2. #152
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnbvcxz View Post
    your fellow man."

    (5) INTPs I think have an innocent, idyllic world view deep down, hidden beneath layers built (many times cynically) in viewing the world from our rational viewpoint. ENFJs, meanwhile, I think accept that the world is coldly rational deep down, but bury that behind layers of idealistic thinking. These worldviews CAN (very dependent on healthy personality types, which is definitely not always the case) compliment each other extremely well. Another reason the ENFJ/INTP pairing can work.
    Thanks for this post especially this part! This is something I think about a lot.

    I was reading Maria von Franz's Psychotherapy a while back and she said this about dominant Fe types. Maybe this is why I can't jive with most ENFJ descriptions although I know it's my best fit type. I'll finish this later when I've got more time!
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #153
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Behave or I've got a woodpile appointment with your name on it, mister! *shakes shamey finger*
    This punishment can only lead to good things.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  4. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by colmena View Post
    This punishment can only lead to good things.
    All sides! They're comin' at me from all sides! *crumbles*

  5. #155
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    All sides! They're comin' at me from all sides! *crumbles*
    Oh. Objective completed early. Time for tea.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  6. #156
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnbvcxz View Post


    (2) Despite the always-energetic outward appearence and seeming self-confidence, my ENFJ is a perfectionist and intense inner self-critic. This side is rarely revealed or talked about, despite her literally hundreds of friends. She has a lot of one-way conversations with those friends. Like the INTP, the inability to "really open up" seems present. I think it's the INTPs detachment and un-judging nature which bridges that and makes a "2-way conversation." Although, in my case, this happened WELL AFTER I intuitively and innately trusted her.
    Wow. From my limited experience with ENFJs, this is pretty insightful. It is in this way that they are kindred spirits of sorts. I haven't thought of it in the context of a romantic relationship, but I've found interactions with ENFJ more effortless and than most other types, partly because of this:

    Once this happens, each partner has a healthy respect for the other. There's also a healthy respect for each other's individuality.
    It is quite a contrast with ENFPs, where misunderstandings and conflicting values cause effortless friction.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by IF3157 View Post
    It is quite a contrast with ENFPs, where misunderstandings and conflicting values cause effortless friction.
    This can be true.

  8. #158
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnbvcxz View Post
    (5) INTPs I think have an innocent, idyllic world view deep down, hidden beneath layers built (many times cynically) in viewing the world from our rational viewpoint. ENFJs, meanwhile, I think accept that the world is coldly rational deep down, but bury that behind layers of idealistic thinking. These worldviews CAN (very dependent on healthy personality types, which is definitely not always the case) compliment each other extremely well. Another reason the ENFJ/INTP pairing can work.
    What a profound insight!
    I'm too cynical to agree with it though

    ENFJs scare me with their intensity, I love their passion and idealism and drive but it's kind of in the way you love a wild animal - you can stand and watch for hours, fascinated, impressed, moved, mesmerized even, but you don't want to step inside the cage in case you get devoured. I've only met one (that I know of) of the opposite sex and he kind of made me all gooey, (which is not a good thing, btw, if you're an INTP).

    Also, he's the only person I ever felt I wasn't good enough for. I worried I'd end up like Tess, abandoned by her Angel, for being a mere mortal. He really was pretty damned perfect though *sighs*.

  9. #159
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animenagai View Post
    PLEASE TRY TO FIND REASONS IN SUPPORT OF A PAIRING AND NOT REASONS AGAINST IT.
    you're such an ENFP

  10. #160
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    What a profound insight!
    I'm too cynical to agree with it though

    ENFJs scare me with their intensity, I love their passion and idealism and drive but it's kind of in the way you love a wild animal - you can stand and watch for hours, fascinated, impressed, moved, mesmerized even, but you don't want to step inside the cage in case you get devoured. I've only met one (that I know of) of the opposite sex and he kind of made me all gooey, (which is not a good thing, btw, if you're an INTP).

    Also, he's the only person I ever felt I wasn't good enough for. I worried I'd end up like Tess, abandoned by her Angel, for being a mere mortal. He really was pretty damned perfect though *sighs*.
    Wow, we're on the same page to a large extent.

    I still vividly remember a couple months after meeting my current wife ...... having lunch with a great friend. I was discussing "the gal I'm currently dating", and while talking at length about how wonderful she was, I also said "but in a way she scares me and I'm not confident in what I offer her in a relationship." Exact words, I still remember them.

    I was literally ready to abandon the relationship because of these fears. That's a damn tough transition for a typical INTP to make .... but from experience, it's worth it (thank God I did).

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