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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Honestly, I think I'd rather have a soulmate than a mindmate. I enjoy meeting people whose brain works like mine, but it doesn't naturally inspire passion in me.
    Agree. I prefer anyone but a love interest to be a "mindmate," because it doesn't add much to a romantic relationship, yet has the capability to subtract. Soulmate is difficult. It will likely be amazingly good and bad at different times (bad namely if things go south). Playmate is easy and fun. The latter two are of interest to me.

  2. #92
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    I am curious. Why do you think it has truth in general?

    I am always amazed that someone can believe I am smart when we have only interacted with me for a few minutes (when I say next to nothing).

    Is it a vibe of some sort? The glasses and beard?
    well NT's are NT's because they value wisdom, knowledge and the like. they will naturally push themselves towards being smart etc. because they find it important. with the same logic i think people who value people will have better people skills in general. it's not the glasses or whatever . most of the INTP's i've met don't really look geeky at all. this is personality after all, doesn't have too much to do with looks. i like INTP's because the I means they're self motivated (it's where you get your energy from), NT for the previous reasons and P because it means they're willing to dwell on the question and explore different alleyways and not just shut them off immediately. once again, i'm not saying that INTP's are necessarily smarter than another as individuals but i think that earning for intelligence must count for something.

  3. #93
    Member Sunshine8's Avatar
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    Default Currently in a relationship with an INTP (male)

    Hi,

    I am a female ENFJ currently in a relationship with a male INTP. It is interesting because I have always thought I could see the potential in people (what ENFJ wouldn't?), but when I met him for the first time I thought he was kind of boring and uptight. I had been in two 'soulmate' relationships with an INFJ and an ENFJ and this match seemed like chalk and cheese by comparison. However he was very keen and I still didn't quite get why he was barking up my tree! I would have thought I was the opposite of the sort of person he would be into. Politically I am quite left and he is quite right...etc.

    What is interesting though, is that as I get to know him, I find he is one of the most enigmatic and challenging people I have ever met. I seem to spend so much of my time always trying to do the right thing by everyone, but he seems to have no such desire - it really just changes by the minute.

    I still feel as though we are still just getting to know each other after a year, and I normally feel as though I know someone after five minutes!

    The important thing for me is that I feel we are growing, and especially growing closer together. Every time there is a challenge it seems we reach some new space and understanding together. And then I look at him and think...ah-huh! NOW I get it. Very interesting.

    In contrast, with the INFJ and the ENFJ I had that almighty 'bolt from the blue' that I thought would last a lifetime...but the growth just wasn't there. I experienced terrible grief at the end of each of these past relationships. I gave them my all, but I think the soul-intimacy developed ahead of the brain and friendship-intimacy and they shipwrecked in a spectacular fashion.

    So I am still working it out, but my overall impression about the match so far would be:

    Challenging, energetic without being too intense, space for each person to be themselves, a call to stand as equals - not some prince or princess, a feeling of growth (even if is bought about through conflict at times), a sense of respect for the other person's abilities, a sense of depth - long term prospects for fulfillment on both sides.

    Hope that helps!
    Last edited by Sunshine8; 08-29-2008 at 02:08 AM. Reason: There was leftover text at the bottom

  4. #94
    señor member colmena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine8 View Post
    Challenging, energetic without being too intense, space for each person to be themselves, a call to stand as equals - not some prince or princess, a feeling of growth (even if is bought about through conflict at times), a sense of respect for the other person's abilities, a sense of depth - long term prospects for fulfillment on both sides.

    Hope that helps!
    This sounds wonderful, and what I had in mind.

    And as for the soul/mindmate discussion: I can see a chance to satisfy both with an ENFJ.
    http://badges.mypersonality.info/badge/0/6/68764.png
    Ti Ne Fi Ni

    -How beautiful, this pale Endymion hour.
    -What are you talking about?
    -Endymion, my dear. A beautiful youth possessed by the moon.
    -Well, forget about him and get to bed.
    -Yes, my dear.

  5. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    No, she isn't. I think the distinction between soul mate and mind mate is fine at best and completely open to personal interpretation.
    You can define them any way you want. But you didn't come up with the terms and you don't get the final say in what they mean to people who actually want to use them. I don't enjoy the prospect of a semantics discussion with you, I'll just say that if you don't really want to use some words because the common usage hurts your feelings or whatever that's fine. But I can still use them if I want and so I need them to NOT be completely open to interpretation.
    I don't wanna!

  6. #96
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    You can define them any way you want. But you didn't come up with the terms and you don't get the final say in what they mean to people who actually want to use them. I don't enjoy the prospect of a semantics discussion with you, I'll just say that if you don't really want to use some words because the common usage hurts your feelings or whatever that's fine. But I can still use them if I want and so I need them to NOT be completely open to interpretation.
    Did you stamp your feet when you said that?

    Seriously, I find the terms lacking and will continue to either revise the ones that exist or do away with them entirely.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Did you stamp your feet when you said that?
    yeah, I must have. Right?

    Seriously, I find the terms lacking and will continue to either revise the ones that exist or do away with them entirely.
    sure, just don't tell me I'm wrong because your definitions are weird and perpetually changing.
    I don't wanna!

  8. #98
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    yeah, I must have. Right?
    No? Darn.


    sure, just don't tell me I'm wrong because your definitions are weird and perpetually changing.
    AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!! AHAHAHHA!! .... wow.

    Touche. I guess.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #99
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine8 View Post
    Hi,

    I am a female ENFJ currently in a relationship with a male INTP. It is interesting because I have always thought I could see the potential in people (what ENFJ wouldn't?), but when I met him for the first time I thought he was kind of boring and uptight. I had been in two 'soulmate' relationships with an INFJ and an ENFJ and this match seemed like chalk and cheese by comparison. However he was very keen and I still didn't quite get why he was barking up my tree! I would have thought I was the opposite of the sort of person he would be into. Politically I am quite left and he is quite right...etc.

    What is interesting though, is that as I get to know him, I find he is one of the most enigmatic and challenging people I have ever met. I seem to spend so much of my time always trying to do the right thing by everyone, but he seems to have no such desire - it really just changes by the minute.

    I still feel as though we are still just getting to know each other after a year, and I normally feel as though I know someone after five minutes!

    The important thing for me is that I feel we are growing, and especially growing closer together. Every time there is a challenge it seems we reach some new space and understanding together. And then I look at him and think...ah-huh! NOW I get it. Very interesting.

    In contrast, with the INFJ and the ENFJ I had that almighty 'bolt from the blue' that I thought would last a lifetime...but the growth just wasn't there. I experienced terrible grief at the end of each of these past relationships. I gave them my all, but I think the soul-intimacy developed ahead of the brain and friendship-intimacy and they shipwrecked in a spectacular fashion.

    So I am still working it out, but my overall impression about the match so far would be:

    Challenging, energetic without being too intense, space for each person to be themselves, a call to stand as equals - not some prince or princess, a feeling of growth (even if is bought about through conflict at times), a sense of respect for the other person's abilities, a sense of depth - long term prospects for fulfillment on both sides.

    Hope that helps!
    Interesting first post!

    And I don't believe I've ever considered dating an NFJ before so your perspective is certainly from a new angle. So did things not work out because there was too much "sameness" in the other relationships?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #100
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Did you stamp your feet when you said that?
    Assigning emotions is a great debate strategy.

    Seriously, I find the terms lacking and will continue to either revise the ones that exist or do away with them entirely.
    Under what authority? Is there some central governing body that legislates the definitions of words?

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