• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

Your energy threshold

fetus

New member
Joined
Mar 22, 2015
Messages
2,575
Enneagram
6w7
How long can you go without social interaction? How long can you go without alone time?
Obviously every human being needs both, but each of us has our own individual threshold. Also, a lot of times it depends on the situation.
What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc? What energizes you? How long does it take to recover from a draining situation?

Me: I'm an ambivert. A full day at home with no people may become tiring. I usually need to go out for an hour to an hour and a half to refill. Going out doesn't necessarily have to be with people--though usually it would. Sometimes it's a just a drive or a trip to the grocery store.
After three hours of stranger/non-close friend interaction, I need *at least* three hours to recover. With my very closest friends, I can go a full day feeling energized, but will need maybe an hour of alone time afterwards.
I thrive on close friend interactions, alone time, and creative public speaking (not too much mingling afterwards). Ideally, to keep myself energized, I would like day of both interaction and quiet time. For instance, spend the morning and afternoon alone, be with close friends until the evening, and spend the last hour before bed by myself.
Then again, too much change in activity is also exhausting. Sometimes a whole weekend all by myself sounds fantastic. Sometimes not.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
A full day alone and I get antsy and in a funk. 3hrs social to 1hr alone is a good ratio for recharging from social time.

Dancing and hiking and exercising with other people, I can just keep going and going. But you don't always have to be talking during those times.
 

BluRoses

New member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
155
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
2w3
I find that i am happiest with roughly 2 hrs social time to 1 hr alone time. It may sound strange as an extrovert, saying that, but maybe its because I am an only child....?

I think the real issue for me is interpersonal conflict and not being able to 100% be my authentic self. Let me try and explain so it makes more sense: Basically, when I am with a couple of people in my close circle of friends and everyone is getting along, I am having a great time and I'm energized. However, if they start arguing with each other, or are super stressed out (ex: one couple just had their first baby), I pick up on those feelings and it stresses ME out. Of we're all having fun and there is no baby crying I could probably hang out for 2 days straight and be happy. With the conflict I start feeling itchy to go home after an hour.

With the "authentic self" comment, I mean that in a different situation, like a work party, where I don't know a lot of people well, I am likely to be drained quickly. At a work function I have 2 things usually going on that can wear me out:

1. That I am needing to present my best work self because my boss is likely there and I don't want negative repercussions to my actions later at work (I would be mortified if I was the drunk woman at the Christmas Party).

2. The sheer number of people. I prefer small groups, like 2 to 3 people to interact with at a time. This way I have a good grip on my Fi. When there are like 30+ people at a party, I am overwhelmed emotionally and although I am probably having fun, my stamina will wear out within a couple of hours and I will want to go home.

(As an aside, this was always a bit of an issue with my ENFP husband and I because he was the life of the party and would like to "party" for like 5-6 hours at a time if possible. I like to socialize, but it needs to be for a SHORT time.
 

big sexy

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
70
MBTI Type
INfP
I can easily go days without significant, face-to-face interaction. It doesn't take long to exhaust me in social situations and I need a lot of alone time every day. Very introverted over here.
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Without alone time? A weekend. But then I'll probably be low on reserves for the starting week. Without socialization? From experience, months. More certainly wouldn't be desirable, but I am confident I could go on and stay sane.
 

Frosty

Poking the poodle
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
12,667
Instinctual Variant
sp
When I am with people I get extremely chatty and talkative, the more people I can talk to the better, but I could easily spend time by myself. I feel like I get different kinds of energy from both being with others and being alone.

Being with others makes me feel like I am being jolted by electricity, like every added person/conversation/laugh just makes the current stronger. When I am alone it is more like calm waves, not quite as fun but extremely relaxing and stimulating in its own way.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
I have more of a limit on social time than alone time. I don't think I have ever gotten noticeably lonely at any time. My max time is probably a couple hours of heavy socializing/crowded event before I need to get away from it. At work functions, I do fine but there are instances I have to push myself to be chatty or interact. I do like one on one time with my ENFJ daily and times with friends but I don't get any kind of energizing from it.
 

fetus

New member
Joined
Mar 22, 2015
Messages
2,575
Enneagram
6w7
When I am with people I get extremely chatty and talkative, the more people I can talk to the better, but I could easily spend time by myself. I feel like I get different kinds of energy from both being with others and being alone.

Being with others makes me feel like I am being jolted by electricity, like every added person/conversation/laugh just makes the current stronger. When I am alone it is more like calm waves of, not quite as fun but extremely relaxing and stimulating in its own way.

That's exactly how I would describe it! For me, it's like warm vs. cool. Both equally vital, but different.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
How long can you go without social interaction?
A day and a half or two days. More than that would be pushing it.

How long can you go without alone time?
Depends on your definition of "alone time". If I can fit in 5-10 minutes here and there, and if the people I'm with don't annoy me, than I can go for days and days. Maybe weeks.

What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc?
Boredom is extremely draining to me. Other than that, interpersonal drama. (I'm highly susceptible to emotional exhaustion when I can't avoid the emotions in question.)

What energizes you?
Doing things. Either with friends, or on my own. Staying active, having a plan, being up and around. Having stuff to do keeps me alert and energized. The longer I sit around doing nothing, the more drained I get. Gotta have water moving through my gills, or else I start to sink.

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation?
Between an hour and 24 hours. Usually I can recover from an exhausting day by noon the next day, if I treat myself to a good night's sleep and a relaxing morning.
 

DreamBeliever

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2015
Messages
776
How long can you go without social interaction?
- A day. A day alone can be nice. After that I start to get antsy.

How long can you go without alone time?
- Again, a day. A day out (or in) with 1-4 friends can be nice. I usually like 1-4 hours a day to myself, though. (even half an hour will suffice, but I need some time to think in my head to myself)

What situations drain you most?
- Being around negative people, not having enough activities to do, & starting to feel like I'm living the same day over & over.

What energizes you?
- Quality time with good friends, eating good food, exercising, watching TV, listening to music, & a plethora of other things.

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation?
- Depends on how prolonged it was. 2 days, maybe.
 

Yama

Permabanned
Joined
Dec 1, 2014
Messages
7,684
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
How long can you go without social interaction?
I've never gone a day without social interaction of some sort. For me, it doesn't have to be face to face. I am constantly updating my closest friends (ISTJ and ISFJ) on what I'm thinking/doing over facebook IM as if it were twitter or something. As for hanging out physically, well, all but 2 of my friends have left town for college, so I can go weeks without it. I work in customer service at work so I get a lot of interaction anyway.

How long can you go without alone time?
A day? It depends. With friends it can be longer, but if I'm dealing with people at work or people I'm not partial towards, a day of bieng around them and I need a few hours to recover.

What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc?
I don't go to clubs or parties--not my thing. My idea of a "party" is inviting all my introvert friends over for a movie marathon or something (100% of my irl friends are introverted). I don't think I'd like going to block parties or clubs or anything like that.

What energizes you?
Doing things that are FUN and not work. Playing my wii u, either alone or with friends. Browsing this forum, watching tv, hanging out with friends. Anything, as long as it's not going to work!

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation?
Depends on HOW draining it is. It could range from a couple hours to a day.
 

tardismama

New member
Joined
Jul 31, 2015
Messages
6
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp
How long can you go without social interaction? - Indefinitely? I don't think I've ever had enough alone time. I have no concept of loneliness in the sense of just wanting to be around people in general. As long as I had an Internet connection I could probably quite happily become a hermit.

How long can you go without alone time? - Like an hour? That's about when I start searching for a bathroom to hide in for 5 minutes in most social settings. Somewhat longer in the case of my very short list of people I REALLY love (my husband, children, parents, and best friend), but even them I can only take for a few hours without wanting to scream.

What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc? - Parties, especially parties of mostly extended family are the worst! My 3y/o son having an extra clingy extra touchey super Fe day takes it out of me fast. A weekend truly and entirely alone sounds like my idea of heaven.

What energizes you? - completely alone in the house and knowing it will be that way for hours.

Anytime I've taken a dichotomous mbti type test I have never scored lower than 95% on introversion and often higher. It's dreadfully annoying to need this much alone time but I've tried faking it and I just can't do it. I mostly survive by not sleeping much and using the middle of the night to be alone. It's not ideal but it is what it is. I have high hopes that having my kids in school will be a revelation to my social energy levels, we shall see.

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation? - I don't remember the last time I felt entirely recharged, definitely pre-kids. (My oldest is 6 in October)
 

Carpe Vinum

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2015
Messages
185
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
How long can you go without social interaction?
My family and friends are very important to me. We do things together all the time. I count myself blessed for that. I'd be depressed if I went more than a few days without seeing them. Work socializing, however, I do need a break from. I'm a teacher and I love my job, but I couldn't do it without those breaks.

How long can you go without alone time?
I can go a fairly long time without true "alone time." A few hours here and there is always nice, though.

What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc?
They're all nice in moderation. Any of them would drain me if they went on for too long.

What energizes you?
Somebody else already said it, but doing things that are FUN and not work.

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation?
A good run or motorcycle ride usually clears my head. I bounce back quickly.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
a week than i go out immediatly regret it, go home watch netflix
 

BadOctopus

Suave y Fuerte
Joined
Oct 9, 2014
Messages
3,232
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
The effects of socializing seem to be cumulative with me. The more I do it, the more my energy is depleted, and the more irritable and anxious I get, and then I need a day or two alone. It also seems to be worse in the summer, because there are more social gatherings. More pressure to be around people.

I could probably go months without human interaction. I shouldn't, and I doubt I will ever be in the position where I would, but I could do it. Just give me my dog and a stack of books, and I would be fine.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
The effects of socializing seem to be cumulative with me. The more I do it, the more my energy is depleted, and the more irritable and anxious I get, and then I need a day or two alone. It also seems to be worse in the summer, because there are more social gatherings. More pressure to be around people.

I could probably go months without human interaction. I shouldn't, and I doubt I will ever be in the position where I would, but I could do it. Just give me my dog and a stack of books, and I would be fine.

i have not interacted with people for months at a time, at first its great but eventually the isolation wears on you and it really sucks.
 

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Up the Wolves
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
19,449
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I tend to find that when I date extroverts, they kind of expect me to socialize. Even worse, they tend to be looking over my shoulder and correcting me whenever I do or say something improper. I feel as though I'm constantly being judged.

I liked doing things in smaller groups with extraverted partners, but they tend to prefer the larger gatherings.

I enjoy family gatherings more, because I feel that people aren't judging me so much. Sometimes that gets exhausting, too.

I can go days without really chatting with my coworkers, although I'm trying to be better at this because I generally like most of then.

I usually spend my weekends alone. It's probably not healthy, but I haven't found a workable alternative.
 

MyCupOfTea

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
138
MBTI Type
INxP
How long can you go without social interaction?
A day or two. It depends greatly how much I've been socializing recently.

How long can you go without alone time?
It depends who I'm with. If I'm just at home with my husband and there are times when we are just doing our own things without talking to each other much I'm just enjoying it. On the other hand certain type of people suck me empty really quick and it can take days to recover.

What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc?
Situations when I have to actively take part in communication with people who are challenging. An intense meeting at work with clients for example.

What energizes you?
Daydreaming, reading, seeking new information about an interesting topic, sleeping, just being around my loved ones.

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation?
After a day at work I don't usually want to be around anyone else besides my husband. I just want to be at home and not to go anywhere. It I can do that, I've usually charged my batteries until the next day.
 

fetus

New member
Joined
Mar 22, 2015
Messages
2,575
Enneagram
6w7
How long can you go without social interaction?
A day or two. It depends greatly how much I've been socializing recently.

How long can you go without alone time?
It depends who I'm with. If I'm just at home with my husband and there are times when we are just doing our own things without talking to each other much I'm just enjoying it. On the other hand certain type of people suck me empty really quick and it can take days to recover.

What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc?
Situations when I have to actively take part in communication with people who are challenging. An intense meeting at work with clients for example.

What energizes you?
Daydreaming, reading, seeking new information about an interesting topic, sleeping, just being around my loved ones.

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation?
After a day at work I don't usually want to be around anyone else besides my husband. I just want to be at home and not to go anywhere. It I can do that, I've usually charged my batteries until the next day.

You sound exactly like me! :)
 

fetus

New member
Joined
Mar 22, 2015
Messages
2,575
Enneagram
6w7
How long can you go without social interaction? - Indefinitely? I don't think I've ever had enough alone time. I have no concept of loneliness in the sense of just wanting to be around people in general. As long as I had an Internet connection I could probably quite happily become a hermit.

How long can you go without alone time? - Like an hour? That's about when I start searching for a bathroom to hide in for 5 minutes in most social settings. Somewhat longer in the case of my very short list of people I REALLY love (my husband, children, parents, and best friend), but even them I can only take for a few hours without wanting to scream.

What situations drain you the most--clubs, seminars, a weekend alone, parties, etc? - Parties, especially parties of mostly extended family are the worst! My 3y/o son having an extra clingy extra touchey super Fe day takes it out of me fast. A weekend truly and entirely alone sounds like my idea of heaven.

What energizes you? - completely alone in the house and knowing it will be that way for hours.

Anytime I've taken a dichotomous mbti type test I have never scored lower than 95% on introversion and often higher. It's dreadfully annoying to need this much alone time but I've tried faking it and I just can't do it. I mostly survive by not sleeping much and using the middle of the night to be alone. It's not ideal but it is what it is. I have high hopes that having my kids in school will be a revelation to my social energy levels, we shall see.

How long does it take to recover from a draining situation? - I don't remember the last time I felt entirely recharged, definitely pre-kids. (My oldest is 6 in October)

You sound like a true ESFJ. ;)

(I'm kidding, by the way.)
 
Top